My whirlwind world

GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
edited 17. Nov 2016, 03:31 in Community Chit-chat archive

The last couple of weeks have been crazy for me as you can probably imagine.

Had to see Registrar to register Mum's passing, funeral directors, planning the funeral service (25th Nov), writing my part of the Eulogy (sadly as some of you will know this is the second Eulogy I've been involved with this year), instructing Probate Solicitor - I'm Executor; sorting out utility companies; getting Mum's house valued (Probate Solicitor needed values); keeping family up-to-date (and pacified/re-assured at times!); raising queries on behalf of Probate solicitor with family members and getting answers; dealing with loads and loads of correspondence; checking Mum's house regularly; getting her bank accounts frozen; liaising with life insurance companies - the list is endless! On top of all that I had work as well. :roll:

The Probate solicitor said that due to the level of work I've already done, her bill will be at the lower end of the scale she quoted. Nice feedback at a sad time!

So, my apologies to my Forum Family for having been AWOL lately but to be honest, when I've sunk into a chair I've been too exhausted to do anything apart from stare at the TV. Hopefully now the Solicitor is instructed my workload will reduce.



  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,152
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Big hugs Grace.(((()))) Mig
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,512
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Grace :(

    I totally remember all of that. So much to do at such a time. It is exhausting and I really feel for you.

    For me though it was also probably helpful. It gave me something, (a bit too much!), practical to do. Locating important bits of paper, contacts and hours on the telephone. Frustrating conversations with organisations all of which feels as though it needed to have been done yesterday.

    So long as you are alright your forum friends understand what a hectic time this is and how extra painful on top of your loss of John earlier this year.

    As usual I am sending you some of my strength and some of these ((())) Please try hard to rest when you can.


    Toni xxx
  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,433
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Having been through it all myself recently, I found that you have to reset your mind to cope with the 'what now?' questions, slowly the rawness of the emotions fade.

    On a practical note I used a large briefcase and put all the paperwork in that so it was always to hand. and lists, they were useful to guide my thoughts.

    Keep smiling.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,423
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I think it's true that it's helpful to have so much to do in the early days. Unfortunately, you know that better than most, Grace. Just remember we're still here for you when all the rush has died down. You will not be alone. ((( )))
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    There's no need to apologise, Grace, I remember it well even though it was more than three years ago. It's very hard work on top of a stressful time and the utilities were the worst: bunch of morons, each and every organisation. DD
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you all for your kind and very thoughtful replies.

    I still feel a bit like "stop the world, I want to get off!" but sadly legal things have to be done. I have to say at the moment the utility companies have been reasonably okay, but perhaps I've just been lucky? Having had to sort things out February after John died, I suspect I just remember the "drill" and which teams to ask for!

    My brother and I have agreed which estate agent to use (he's not executor but he's the main family member I've had to pacify so I talked things through with him. I've have done that anyway I hasten to add!).

    Mum had a lot of equipment from Social Services and that's all being collected Thursday afternoon. As I need to be at the house then, I'm meeting the estate agents there to do the paperwork. The viewings will start 1st Jan as we want time to clear the house a bit beforehand and it'd be disrespectful to rush things. My Dad worked hard to buy the house and he'd be delighted with it's value. My cousin (who's the other executor) will go into the estate agents Friday and sign documents with them and the Probate Solicitor. As he's not well himself, its easier for him to do both in the same afternoon.

    Needless to say my joints all feel as if they've exploded and are hot, swollen and extremely painful! I'd like to think these will ease but with the winter weather I doubt it somehow.

    Thanks again for your support. Means such a lot.

  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,280
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Grace you have done so well at such a very sad time..I suppose it stops you dwelling on things to much..I can only imagine how shattered you are hopefully some me time very soon..xx
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,512
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Gosh Grace I am always in awe of your organisational skills.

    Two things that can be done at the same time are done and sorted even for others, remembering their health issues. I am sure your cousin appreciates that you have thought of that with all you have going on.

    Yes I expect experience has helped you to deal with all the 'officialdom' without too much hassle, but still you have made excellent progress.

    I am so pleased that your Dad would have been proud of how much his home is now worth :)

    I am so sorry that your joints are themselves protesting, but not surprised at all.

    Please try to take care of yourself((()))


    Toni xx