Pity Party Today

ouchpotato

Ergh

I have had one of those days when being in pain all the damn time just got me down massively. This afternoon I walked to the local shop for a few bits. As soon as the cold hit me the pain in my hands was unreal. The shop is only a 2 minute walk, and I got there ok. But I also have this thing in my arms where as soon as I pick anything up they spasm and almost seize up, it's a really weird feeling, and the pain is indescribable, almost as if someone has both my elbows in their hands and are squeezing as hard as they can. I only bought light things, but by the time I got home I was in a state - I'm furious with myself for not being able to be independent. I'm a 48 year old single mother so am used to being the 'do-er'. Then I realised I had forgotten something and burst into tears, with the pain and frustration. I rarely feel sorry for myself but boy did I today. (My son had just come in from work and went back for me)
To make matters worse I have been on the waiting list for ten months to have my gall bladder removed and it flared up in the middle of the night - if anyone here has gallstones they will know exactly what I'm talking about! So no sleep, deep pain...not a good mix!

I hate letting it get the better of me but sometimes it's bigger than me.

hileena111

Ohhh!!!!. Gall Bladder Pain. Yes I know what that is like.
Many years ago when I was nursing and I was on my little 90cc motor bike {before I could drive a car} On the way home from a 12 hour shift I had this awful pain. So bad that I turned the bike and drove straight to the nearest hospital. I was single at the time and used to being on my own. So not the type to give in easily.
They kept me in. They didn't take my gall bladder out but I was there for a week so I can sympathise with you ....{not just empathise}
Are you on that awful; diet where when I first looked at it it looked as if I could eat nothing? No dairy produce etc

Anyway as for the pity party......I think we've all had them from time to time. Doesn't do you any harm as long as you don't stay in that state. When I was waiting for my knee to be replaced and it was bone rubbing on bone I know I cried a few times
Take care and look after yourself. Pamper yourself as much as you can
Love
Hileena

ouchpotato

Hi Hileena

you mean the bland bland and more bland diet? Well, they gave me the diet sheet, but I have just started back on the WW diet plan, which is still low dairy, low fat etc.

I'm glad (but not glad at the same time) that I'm not the only one who has these odd days. You're so right, as long as we don't stay in them it is ok. I'm feeling better after a good cry and a sleep, although I decided this morning to try and bring myself out of it a bit more by dressing in something other than comfy sweat pants. Putting on tights was interesting, to say the least! Now they're on they're staying on, but I think tomorrow I will be back to comfort dressing!

daffy2

That's what the forum's for. I think we've all got to that 'last straw' stage at some point or other, and being the one who has to cope does add to the despair.

I hate letting it get the better of me but sometimes it's bigger than me.

You haven't really let it get the better of you because you've picked yourself up and kept going.
I can sympathise with the hands problem and the cold.I try to make sure I have a bag with long enough handles to go on my shoulder or, even better, across my body. I had to start doing this a long time ago due to back problems, and it's stood me in good stead now my hands are increasingly inclined not only to be painful but also stop working properly on occasion.

hileena111

Hi,
How are things now? Do you feel any better?

Plan some nice things for yourself. Plan a day away? no matter how far in advance it is, Just meeting a friend for coffee, try and plan things to do. Pleasant things that you can look forward to no matter how little it is

Love
Hileena

barbara12

Oh ouch you are in a state..and I remembered you had children..and was a one parent family..it must be so hard..I hope your children can lend an helping hand and give you some rest and me time..if possible...hope the pain eases very soon..x

ouchpotato

Hello all, and thank you for asking how I'm doing.

The answer is - not very well. The pain seems to have migrated to my wrists and hands, which has always been something I dreaded. I'm super independent and the thought of not being able to do things for myself fills me with horror.

Sleep is completely evading me, and when I do manage to fall asleep (usually around 5am) it is short lived as the screaming pain in my wrists and fingers wakes me again.

The children are great - they do help me a lot and get cross with me when I try and do too much.

I spend all day longing for the evening when I can settle down on the settee, but then when I do the pain increases...go figure!

But, all in all I'm doing ok. I've not had tears since although I have felt like it a few times from the sheer level of pain!

I have registered at the new Drs, but there is a 10 working day process time before I can book an apt (and then who knows how long the waiting list is!) but I am going to insist on a referral back to rheumatology. Fingers crossed!