Very odd feelings

GraceB
GraceB Member Posts: 1,598
edited 19. Jan 2017, 09:59 in Community Chit-chat archive
My late parents' house is being emptied. This was the house my older sister Sue, my younger brother Andy and I all grew up in. The house has been in my family for about 46 years, so it's a long time.

Seeing the rooms becoming empty is such an odd feeling! We have given a lot of the bigger items to the local Hospice shop and the DEBra charity. The PDSA will get the smaller items, books, bedding, etc. The Hospice supported my late sister and my late father, and Mum donated regularly to the PDSA so it's all going to help very good causes. It's what Mum and Dad would have wanted. Dad hated waste.

The family have all chosen certain items and I've got some bits but of course, we all have homes already furnished so there's a limit what we can re-use. Sadly some has had to go to the local tip as is the way of these things.

Andy and I spent some time this morning (whilst we were waiting for the Hospice van to come) looking through old family photos. Some I'd had identified by my aunt on my birth Mum's side (my birth Mum died when I was 5) and some by my cousin on Dad's side. We even have photos of my birth Mum as a toddler and young girl with her parents - my maternal grandparents.

With my birth Mum, step-Mum plus Dad we've had 3 sides of the family to identify in photos - which has been rather challenging. As importantly, we need to add into the mix my older half-sister Moira (Dad was married & divorced before he married my birth mum). I do hope you are keeping up with this very complicated family tree! So, we'd started off with the ubiquitous biscuit tin of photos which are now all sectioned off in marked-up envelopes according to which part of the family they relate to. Woe betide Andy if he mixes these up tonight when he goes through them again!

Such an odd sensation though. We know the house is now a shell, a structure; the soul has gone. The soul went when firstly Dad passed and last October when Mum (step-mum) passed. But, I grew up there and it was the only childhood home I knew. Andy is struggling as well. We are also coming across old connections to our late sister Sue and this is also emotionally draining.

However, it has to be done and we will do it properly. It's what Dad & Mum would have wanted and that's what will happen.

GraceB
Turn a negative into a positive!

Comments

  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,045
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Grace.. I remember this feeling well, my parents didn't own the house but all our memories were there from me being 4..and my brothers 3 years younger and one, my late brother 3 years older..I just didn't want to close the door for the last time.but like you say the memories will always be there...I am glad you are getting there with it and sure the charities will be pleased with the things you are donating..x
    Love
    Barbara
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,598
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks Barbara. The PDSA were delighted - especially bearing in mind my brother had to load my car up as well!

    It's so strange seeing all the rooms empty. It'll be a good job now when the house is sold in a way. And yes, I am absolutely dreading that last visit to read the meters on the day it completes.

    GraceB
    Turn a negative into a positive!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh yes, I can empathise with these emotions, it is a confusing and upsetting time as all the memories come swarming back. I am (was?) an only child and living too far away to properly tackle things so didn't. My parents bought the house in 1962, I was often taken to 'see the bricks' and I have photos of me on reins in and around the beginnings of No.57. Pa died in 2002 and Ma in 2013, in the garage were two packing cases which had never been unpacked since they moved in in '62!

    My cousin arranged for an auctioneer to go round and I am so pleased that Ma wasn't around to hear how little her 'treasures' were worth - a few items went to auction, some went to charity shops thanks to my cousin working very hard but the bulk went to the tip: over 50 years of acquiring and never throwing away was cleared in under 24 hours. I have many regrets about what I didn't rescue but the things I did are dearly treasured.

    Life changes, it begins and ends but the memories made along the way are always with us. ((((( ))))) DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 26,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Grace

    This is so very hard for you. I am so sorry :(

    I still remember clearing out my parents' house after my Mum died. It was very sad and traumatic. It felt almost like her life had all been for nothing.

    Of course that's not how she would have felt at all, after all she had us 3 kids and 6 Grandkids to prove that.

    I am the keeper of the memories now. I have the photos which I have scanned and am making all 3 of us an album.

    My brother suggested I make us all a disc too or a memory stick, but I rather like the hard copies.
    :)

    I am so glad that mush of your Mum's property has gone on to help such good causes Grace. It amazes me that despite your own heartbreak you can think of others.

    With love

    Toni xxx ((()))
    Love

    Toni xxx
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