Is this just me?

AliB
AliB Member Posts: 41
edited 3. Apr 2017, 04:12 in Living with Arthritis archive
This may seem a selfish question on my part as I know there are people on here who are suffering an awful lot more than me but want to know if this is normal or just me. I have recently been told I have severe arthritis in both hips and am now on a waiting list for one to be replaced...both eventually At the moment most days my hips feel really uncomfortable and restricts me on what I really like doing..ie dog walking etc I am usually a very upbeat and happy person but these past few weeks have felt quite down a lot of days and emotional...I am sure it's down to not being able to do the things I want.

Comments

  • moderator
    moderator Moderator Posts: 4,086
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Alib
    no it is not just you and you are not being selfish. Hips when they need replacing are very painful and do restrict our lives. It is difficult to remain positive when you are frustrated by the things you cant't do anymore. Living like this has often been referred to as grieving. You are grieving the person you once were. So be gentle with yourself this is understandable. Also try and take one day at a time and focus on the day at hand. Try not to compare yourself with who you were and start planing for your surgery and recovery focus on the things that you can do, and maybe even try something new.
    I am sure other members will share their wisdom with you many have been in your position. Also you might find our section of the website about living with arthritis really useful too https://www.arthritiscare.org.uk/living-with-arthritis
    Best Wishes
    Sharon
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Ali,

    I'm sure it's not just you. I suspect that many of us struggle emotionally when our various arthritic conditions mean we have to amend or restrict the things we enjoy doing. It's natural to miss and almost grieve for the things we did that we can't do now. But.......... life goes on, and in the fullness of time you'll find other things that you enjoy as much, though maybe in a different way.

    I've had a few months of feeling quite down because of the restrictions that living with RA and bronchiectasis create, and it is easy to get all "woe is me" :? From my own experience I've found it valuable to focus on the things I can enjoy, and on better days to indulge in the stuff that I can only sometimes do. Like you I love long walks in the countryside, however my feet/ankles/hips don't, so now I enjoy shorter walks in the park with the dog, and find any passing sunshine a real bonus as it lifts my spirits. I can potter in the countryside alongside hubby, and do shorter walks, preferably on fairly level ground-last week we drove to the top of the Long Mynd (about an hour or so away) then strolled on the top and watched the red kites and buzzards soaring on the thermals, it was bliss. Maybe part of the solution is pacing ourselves and setting achievable targets knowing what our limits are. Sometimes I over indulge, walk too far and pay the next day, but the trade off for me is extra pain relief because I enjoyed some happy time the family.

    I wonder whether there are new hobbies you can explore that you might enjoy that don't batter your already painful joints? I've recently begun to learn to crochet and I'm getting pleasure from achieving something new.......as a bonus it's keeping my hands and fingers more supple and I get something nice to share with friends and family (to date a baby blanket, a shawl for my holidays and I'm working on a rug for my sister's birthday in July- I have to confess to getting mildly obsessed with lovely yarns and the stash upstairs has outgrown the box I set aside for it !! :roll: .

    Life with arthritis can be tough, but then life can be tough fullstop!

    Keep talking, try to find something each day that has given you pleasure and on the really bad days try to be gentle with yourself.

    Deb x
  • AliB
    AliB Member Posts: 41
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you both for your replies ...yes I suppose it is a form of grieving for something you can no longer enjoy...also interrupted sleep doesn't help emotions either... nice to admit to how I feel on here as I don't want to keep bothering my hubby with my everyday ups and downs even though he is quite sympathetic bless him !!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I look back with fondness on my early days when only one joint was affected. Yes, I felt a sense of outrage, I was affronted, indignant and rather cross about the whole thing. Now things are considerably worse but I am reconciled with it, it is what it is and it will do what it will do. I am twenty years in but of course the sulks hit and must be acknowledged. I spend much of my time being cheerful, optimistic and upbeat but not for me, that's for those around me, but every now and again the effort to be so is just too much on top of everything else. When I go quiet people know summat's up but still ask what. :? Whaddaya think? Ah, that's right, you don't have a clue because your lives are healthy and any illness is temporary (whatever that is). I live with chronic pain, poor sleep and more pain. You have a cold. Diddums.

    From time-to-time we have all felt how you are feeling and rightly so: we have a great deal to manage, deal with and endure just to get by and that in itself is tiring. The forum is here for the moans and groans so our families etc. don't have to listen. I think it could be very easy to become an arthritis bore but not on here :wink: DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • MissKat
    MissKat Member Posts: 124
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Lol DD always says the right things that sum up perfectly how we're all feeling at times.

    I thought things were bad for me recently, it really does get you down when is bad. Terrible flare going on right now, but then my baby was poorly and won't currently sleep at night without being rocked to sleep (nightmare on the old knees), the husband was being a godsend and dealing with it all so I didn't have to, then he went and got scarlet fever & is currently laid up unable to do anything, plus highly contagious so now I don't have time to think about the knees, I just have to get on with life... and hope the three of us don't catch his rather Victorian disease! [emoji849]

    When I get a flare it really knocks me back physically and mentally, and I think about how I really take it for granted when the knees are working fine. Then things gradually get better and the flare is a distant memory and life goes on... again...

    Be gentle with yourself, this forum is great for those moans when you need to xxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Fingers crossed you and baby don't get it, that would not be at all helpful, but as you say it is very contagious and there is apparently something of a surge in cases at present. Thank heavens that antibiotics mean a 'Victorian disease' doesn't mean a Victorian outcome.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello, AliB, how are you doing now? I hope you are feeling at least a little brighter. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • AliB
    AliB Member Posts: 41
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Daisy...feel better reading I am not alone in getting down...I go for my pre op on Friday so feel things are getting closer...some days the discomfort feels worse than others but have noticed doing certain physical things causes this..planted up some potatoes in a trough so not that much bending about did seem to suffer afterwards ...would love to get out and do some weeding but am thinking twice about it !! Trying to keep as active as I can but realise it's not always possible...am only 68 but feel I need to sit down every 10 mins or so !!
  • AliB
    AliB Member Posts: 41
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks MissKat ..hope your hubby recovers soon....reading posts such as yours makes me feel I have such a lot to be grateful for and shouldn't moan too much !