Rio Ferdinand

dreamdaisy
dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
edited 5. Apr 2017, 14:54 in Community Chit-chat archive
Earlier today I watched the documentary about the footballer and his struggle with bereavement - what a moving film it was.

It's an area that people are naturally nervous of approaching (let alone discussing) with the bereaved, and maybe especially so with men due to the 'big boys don't cry' nonsense that's drummed into them from their early days. This film was remarkable for not being intrusive or mawkish, it was caring, informative and thought-provoking, showing that the very comfortable cushion of money cannot protect one against the dross of life.

If you haven't watched it I recommend it, in many ways it isn't easy viewing but it is very worthwhile. DD
Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben

Comments

  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,094
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I watched it DD, it was sad to hear him talk candidly about losing the love of his life and bringing up the children..so lovely of him to share this...in a way I think it helped him ..and will help others going through the same..
    Love
    Barbara
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 26,680
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    How right you are DD

    Men shouldn't be socialised into the stiff upper lip response to upset.

    If they were allowed to share their feelings maybe less of them would take the desperate measures some of them sadly do.

    Love

    Toni xxx
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I watched it too and I have to admit I sobbed from the beginning to end. It was so moving especially with his children. It was a well done documentary and Rio needs a big hug for letting us into his life at such a traumatic time and filming it so other parents in the same position know they are not alone.
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,598
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm aware of this - saw it in the TV guide but haven't yet summed up the courage to watch it. Intend to try later.

    Speaking as someone who has been bereaved by the loss of their partner, all I can say is that in my experience people just don't know what to say to you. Some of my friends have stuck by me; others haven't known what to say and therefore have drifted away. Six weeks after I lost John, one friend even asked me if I'd started to try to find someone else!

    If you know anyone who has been bereaved at a young age, please PM me and I'll give you the details of an online forum (a closed one) which I'm now a member of. It focuses on those who have been widowed at a young age. Some of us don't have children; some do; some were married; others like me were living with their partners.

    I've been so grateful for the support I had on the AC forum from my AC Family but, at the same time, I needed to be able to 'speak' to those who were in a similar - and sad - position to me. The other forum enabled me to do that and it helped.

    When I was 5 my biological Mum died from breast and ovarian cancer. My brother was 4, my sister was 9. Dad kept us all together and managed wonderfully well for 2 years until he re-married. Therefore, Rio's story has double-meaning for me. He was widowed at a young age and has also been left to bring up his children and from the clips I've seen of this documentary, he seems to be doing a brilliant job.

    GraceB
    Turn a negative into a positive!
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I watched it too and found it very moving.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich