Struggling to cope

Samc87

Hi I'm new here, I was diagnosed with arthritis when I was 6, I've been treated in many different ways, however I'm now 29 and I feel like I'm slowly loosing the will to live, none of my treatments are working, I'm constantly in pain and I'm suffering from depression. Recently had ESA stopped and I have read the report and it has made me feel disgusting as a person, I am starting to question if this is all in my head as my medical says I Can do things that I really can't do and was never tested in that way! I'm at breaking point with this, please tell me it's normal to be feeling this way. Any advice is appreciated

palo

It is normal to feel this way. When we are pushed beyond endurance of course it is overwhelming, someone who does not suffer from a chronic condition especially with pain, can have no idea how hard life is.

Dealing with a chronic condition is known to be in the top 5 of most stressful things to deal with and you have been dealing with this for many years, of course it is normal to feel. at times. totally overwhelmed and unable to cope, especially when you get another kick in the teeth.

But you will get past this point and reach some measure of control and management again, you just have to ride the storm currently.

I think you can appeal and many people do win their appeals. Sorry cannot advise on that.

Good luck, it is battle fought one day at a time.

[Deleted User]

Hi Samc87
welcome to the forums, you really are having a rough time aren't you, I am so sorry to hear that but you are not alone.

In the first instance I would recommend that you do not take your ESA assessment to be a reflection of your condition. The assessors are not rheumatologists and therefor cannot assess you accurately. Getting your ESA sorted out is very stressful and is bound to make you feel miserable as you are battling against people who do not understand your condition. The best place to get support for this is your local citizens advice as you need some support to do this. Here is there website for you https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/sick-or-disabled-people-and-carers/employment-and-support-allowance/

I would also suggest you see your GP and talk to them about how you are feeling and maybe start some antidepressants for a few months, just during this time when you are feeling so low.

Lastly do you have a rheumatologist? It would be important to look after yourself and go and see them and explain that your treatments are not working. It can be really hard to look after yourself when you feel so low so just set one target at a time and celebrate small steps forward.

You asked if it is normal to feel like this and I would say that anyone in your situation would feel the same. Arthritis can be very hard to deal with and we all have dark times, it is just important to remind yourself that nothing stays the same so even dark times will pass. We do have a whole section on the website about emotional well being because arthritis does affect us so much.
https://www.arthritiscare.org.uk/living-with-arthritis/emotional-wellbeing-and-arthritis

Also everyone on here will be very supportive so drop in anytime and tell us how you are getting on we are here to support you and you will find the community understands
Best Wishes
Sharon

dreamdaisy

Oh dear, no wonder you are feeling so ground down by life - you have had much to contend with in your time and yes, things can become very overwhelming. I have not yet had the pleasure of dealing with the assessment authorities (I was awarded lifelong DLA back in 2007) but know I will be looked at sooner or later.

I have PsA and, then I was diagnosed with OA in 2011 and fibromyalgia a couple of years after that. The pain is constant, my energy (I wish!) limited and I take a low, daily dose of an anti-depressant to help me cope better with the pain and daily challenges I face. Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling? When is your next rheumatology appointment and what meds are you taking anything at the moment? DD

Samc87

Hi and thanks for all your kind words, my next appointment is end of June unfortunately I haven't been able to be seen sooner as they have no appointments and currently no consultant so it has been left down to the nurses to pick up the slack!! I have managed to get an appointment with my gp for the 23rd may however my mood decreases every minute of the day. I didn't sleep a wink last night after reading the report by this so called "medical examiner" I keep thinking about that day and she never once asked me to turn my neck and look over my shoulders (which by the way I have not been able to do for many years now) and she claims in the report I can do this?? It has left me questioning myself. I honestly have asked myself if this illness is in my head. I also hope that this does not affect my dla as I receive middle rate care yet the esa report claims that I need no help from anyone. If they were to take that away too I would be stuck in as I need my car to get about. I suppose I'm feeling rather sensitive but I'm trying to look on the brighter side of things and hopefully after a good nights sleep things may seem a little better in the morning. I also want to look into any local help to me if there's any support groups or just someone who understands living with this everyday as although my partner kids and family are understanding I don't think they will ever truly know how I feel.

stickywicket

This is not at all good. I'm not sure how far a rheumatology nurse can help you. My understanding was that they could only prescribe in consultation with a rheumatologist but I could be wrong.

I think getting your health in a better state is, though, more important right now than the ESA report. It's very, very common for people to have to go to appeal and, as Sharon suggested, Citizens Advice are the best people to help with that. If you sit and brood on the report of course you will feel upset and start to question yourself. That's not helpful and won't help with the appeal either.

Can you get an earlier GP appointment with another one in the practice? Often we have to wait for a specific GP but can get in quickly if we just take pot luck. And sometimes a new face can bring positive results.

Yóu can check on the grey menu above to see if there are any Arthritis Care groups in your area but please do keep talking to us as we all understand the pain of arthritis and the many problems it trails in its wake.