Weddings

stickywicket
stickywicket Member Posts: 26,253
edited 19. Jul 2017, 07:03 in Community Chit-chat archive
I know that, as a woman, I'm supposed to love them – the whole kit and kaboodle. I don't. I receive invitations with a groan, a face screwed up in anticipation of my forthcoming pain (physical and mental :wink: ) and an immediate resolution to find a prior engagement :oops:

Our own wedding was 49 years ago and as simple an affair as we could both persuade our mothers to settle for. We escaped from the reception as soon as we could (in the Best Man's clapped out Standard 8 rustbucket :D ), changed into 'normal clothes' (an almost new trouser suit for me) and got the train to London to honeymoon in my friend's student flat (single bed) as it was the Easter holidays so unoccupied. We spent the week visiting anywhere that was free, as any money we possessed had to be spent furnishing our crumbling, rented flat (shared bathroom) with the cheapest furniture and lino we could find. Lots went wrong but it was great fun. My clearest memory is of me sitting, to rest my poor, achey, arthritic ankles, by the hush of the rosetta stone, chuckling over The Art of Coarse Rugby (which he'd just bought) while he toured the rest of the museum.

I've been to several modern weddings and I don't like them. Who needs bits of tinselly paper on the table :? Why? Or a chocolate with its wrapper inscribed with the names of the bride and groom? Is a children's free sweet 'shop' really a good idea :o Or unlimited free booze for the adults? My son assures me that many couples will not be deterred from going into hock to the tune of £20,000 - £30,000 for their 'dream wedding' :shock: No wonder it appears that the more elaborate the wedding the shorter the marriage.

Can you guess, we've just spent a long (very long :roll: ) weekend helping friends to research local reception venues for her daughter. The essential requirements seem to be (i)turrets (ii)bagpipes (iii)kilts :shock: (The daughter was born in Scotland, to non-Scottish parents. but only lived there for five years. That's as Scottish as any of them get.) In other words, it's mostly about the photos.

Hopefully, as our anniversary usually falls while we're visiting our other son in California, we'll be able to avoid what appear to be compulsory celebrations for 50 years of mutual endurance. We'll just slope off to a ballgame with son and grandson and maybe take in a golden Pacific sunset afterwards. Perfection :D
"The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran

Comments

  • littlemimmy
    littlemimmy Member Posts: 111
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm 31 and not married, although I would love to marry my partner one day.

    I dread receiving wedding invitations as well. There are such expectations upon you, even as a guest. I find the whole process so stressful. Finding a gift (on a very limited budget), finding something to wear, travelling, a long day, strange relatives, and loud music.

    I sound like a right bore, don't I?!
  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,427
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The other side of weddings- I consider my daughters wedding my finest hour, it was done on a strict budget, the day was enjoyed by all the family and friends that came together to celebrate, I had a tear in my eye as I walked her down the isle, so many years of emotion focused on that event. We did the occasion proud. Every year we return to the church and I photograph them and their growing family and we all smile at the memories.
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 26,680
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Airwave! wrote:
    The other side of weddings- I consider my daughters wedding my finest hour, it was done on a strict budget, the day was enjoyed by all the family and friends that came together to celebrate, I had a tear in my eye as I walked her down the isle, so many years of emotion focused on that event. We did the occasion proud. Every year we return to the church and I photograph them and their growing family and we all smile at the memories.

    Ah yes, Airwave, I think THAT should be what it's all about :)

    My own opinion is, if they can afford it, (if!), then they can get on with it. I usually try to just go to the 'day' or earlier part of the evening dependent on our invite.

    Littlemimmy - the expensive present or money(!) is the worst part :shock:

    Stickywicket Well done in advance to you two for 50 years :shock: :shock: :shock: I don't like embarrassing anniversary 'do's' either especially the surprise type :?

    Love

    Toni xxx
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,253
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    littlemimmy - I posted this thread on Chit Chat as I wasn't even taking into consideration the arthritis factor - the loooong day, uncomfortable chairs I probably can't get up from unaided, loos ditto which I probably can't lock, trying to hold conversations with people either side of me when my neck barely moves, trying to sleep in an uncomfortable hotel double bed with my 6'2" husband lying diagonally across it :roll: (ours is a king size) and trying to sleep through loud 'music' and his snores. Aaaargh!

    Airwave - I wish you'd been my Dad. He was so nervous / anxious to offload me that he set off down the aisle at a gallop and I had to rein him back :lol: You have lovely memories and I'm very pleased. I suspect you deserve them.

    frogmorton - I like to think I was a child bride but the dastardly mirror refuses to cooperate :lol:
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I got married on grand national day 1969 :shock: The reception was upstairs in a pub It was the year that highland wedding won and hubby and family being scots we were all listening to the race at the reception so we all had a few bob back.
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,094
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    SW I love it..and Mig we married in 1969...same here reception in a pub..and my wedding dress was bought off a friend for 12 ponds..sorry the pound sign wont work..a neighbour played the piano and my mum sang..hee the good old days.. :lol: both my friends daughters had huge weddings and are now divorced..and married again in the registrar office.. :o
    Love
    Barbara
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,408
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Great thread Sticky. :D

    My eldest son married last year, in secret, because they didn't want any fuss and just wanted to be man and wife so there were only 4 of us and afterwards we went for a nice lunch.

    This year my youngest son got married and there were 30 guests (including children) and the reception was afternoon tea in a small but beautiful venue then a fish and chip supper for a few of us at theirs.

    Neither wedding cost the earth but both were very special and about 2 men and 2 women wanting to be joined in matrimony to the one they love.

    That's what it's all about.

    00004207.gif

    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • Kerrsa
    Kerrsa Member Posts: 233
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Avoid most social occasions too.

    I'm getting married in 7 weeks and are keeping it relatively small and simple. Even so, the guest list has sneaked up to 50 and becoming more expensive than I would like.

    I won't even mention the stress!!! But it will soon be the big day and I'm sure it will be a great day!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,408
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Have a wonderful day Kerrsa.

    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 19. Jul 2017, 07:05
    Oh I love your post, a lady after my own heart.

    I had a simple affair for my wedding, reception, as quiet as I could make it but my Dad wanted to host the reception at his house and pay for all the food as he loved all his family so I left it to him. I paid for everything else, cheap rings, flowers, wedding cake, costs for the ceremony etc as hubby didn't have a penny at the time.

    I changed out of my dress as soon as possible and went to the supermarket! We then escaped the 'party'quickly as I was 8 months pregnant and pretty much worn it by then.

    If I get to marry again (you never know) It will be even quieter I can assure you although I would like a honeymoon of some sort this time.

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein