Dealing with the helpful(?) able-bodied

stickywicket

We spent Christmas Day at our son's so, naturally, ordered a taxi home so that all could eat, drink and be merry. And we did and we were.

The taxi, when it came, was enormous. It had a little platform step up and a grab rail at the side of the door.

I was working out how to grab it (It was right at the limit of my reach) when Mr. SW, helpfully :? , said “Get hold of the rail.”

“I'm trying to.”

With a lurch upward, I got hold of the rail and began to work out how to get a foot on the extremely narrow platform so that it would stay on. Sideways seemed to be the best option.

“Put your foot on the platform” he said :roll:

“I KNOW. I'm trying to.”

With a pull on the grab rail and a hoist from him I got one foot up. The other was now dangling while I estimated what would happen next. In black cabs I have a tendency to crack my head on the top of the cab and fall sideways but I reckoned I had enough headroom in this one.

“Get your other foot up.” ( Now why hadn't I thought of that ? One really shouldn't murder one's spouse on Christmas Day)

I tried. And missed. I tried again.

“Your foot needs to go higher” my sister explained :idea: “You're just a bit short ” (I suppose one shouldn't murder one's sister either.)

“I KNOW WHAT TO DO. It's DOING IT that's the difficult bit.”

The driver, bless him, waited patiently and kindly offered no suggestions. Eventually I got my other foot on the platform and immediately, before I had time to skid off again, put one foot in the car, swivelled on it and threw myself, hopefully, towards the seat. (Do not attempt this without the assistance of alcohol, children.)

I made it. The others got in in a more orthodox fashion (I resisted the temptation to instruct them on how to go about it), the lovely man drove us home and Mr SW promptly fell soundly and contentedly asleep in front of Dr Who.

Everyone survived. Success

trepolpen

Sticky they are trying , can you buy him a gag or some tape & tell him when he wants to be helpful to put it on !!!!

there has to be a easier way to get in & out of cars , maybe Wicker Chairs attached to the front of cars so they can just drive up to us to sit on , any thoughts

Airwave!

Haahhahahhahahahahahahahahaah! You made me smile.

dreamdaisy

You certainly have a way with words, young Sticky: I can just picture the scene!

The frustration that those who can execute various manoeuvres with ease cause us with their helpful advice is sometimes worse than the condition itself. What did they think you were trying to do? Get in after doing a triple Salchow? I rather like trepolpen's idea, I am now picturing myself on such a contraption wearing flying goggles and waving a flag to clear the traffic. DD

Slosh

Sticky you have a great way with words. Have you thought about publishing a book with your words of wisdom. The thoughts of SW...

bubbles

No, one should not attack our family members on such occasions, although the temptation is great. You summed up your experience perfectly.

A couple of times, I have happened upon people who I know, but not seen for a long time, both have asked a similar question, what are you doing on them, (crutches)? :shock:

stickywicket

Trepolpen - I like it. Never mind wicker, though. What about a centrally heated compartmenr (with air-con for summer)? Let's get inventing

Slosh - the wisdom of SW? It would have to be in the comedy section. My family would roar with laughter at the idea of it

Aidan - You tell them that the crutches are for whacking those who ask stupid questions