I have mostly kept my problems to myself because it's hard for me to find anyone that comes even close to understanding what it's like to have constant pain and stiffness but here goes. I had an injury to my right right finger about 8 years ago (I'm 32 now). My bones/joint never quite healed correctly and over the years arthritis/pain was getting worse and my finger kept getting more disfigured. I haven't ever been able to properly make a fist because of this pretty much since. I've had three surgeries on it in the past year (stem cells in a joint to help with movement and pain), tenolysis and this year I received an experimental prosthetic joint in my finger with a NEW doctor. It worked!.... Kinda. My PIP/middle joint is moving very well but the tip of my finger isn't moving at all. On top of my finger being twice the size of my other fingers.
The thing is... I don't have the same pain in my finger anymore but now I have new pain. It feels like my tendons and pulleys are just completely shot and I'm still unable to make a fist. Opening and bending my finger is tight and still hurts. I've been doing physical therapy for a good year. I'm just completely fed up with dealing with my finger. I asked about amputation and my doctor said I should wait 6 months to consider it. I don't really want to wait anymore because I can see the disappointment coming. My family and especially my mother have been screaming and crying because I'm even considering it but I don't think they understand how it actually feels and it depresses me even more.
I'm tired of being in pain and crying half my days. I'm tired of my brain telling me I can move something but my body won't. I want to be able to focus on life more than the pain I have in my hand and I'd like to be able to make a fist even with one finger missing. I can't seem to find much info online about amputations as an option and the after effects of them. Supposedly pain can actually be worse after? Has anyone here have had the option to amputate a limb which causes problems? Or if you went through with an amputation do you think it was worth it?
I'd really appreciate some light on my predicament. I'm going to leave an image of my hand in question so you can see what I mean. It may look swollen but it actually isn't very swollen at all.... it's just what my finger has finally come to after all these years. I posted this elsewhere but my predicament is still the same. Thank you!