Back in January I was referred to an exercise class at my local hospital run by physios. I attended the first session and was welcomed by the rehab assisstant who I worked with for eight weeks about 3 years ago. I was one of the youngest in the class, and the only one on crutches. The exercises included standing up from sitting, stepping up and down, lifting "weights" etc and it was a circut with 3 minutes on each activity plus a warm up/cool down. The physio assistant I knew went round with me, and every exercise, even the warm up and cool down had to be adapted for me! The following week the class was later, I spent the morning feeling very anxious about it, and when I had problems parking went home. As I was busy the next two weeks I contacted physio and said I would not be able to continue.
I have been re-referred and due to go tomorrow, and I have been getting more and more anxious to the extent of feeling tearful. I found it so hard to deal with emotionally and that was the hardest part, not the tiredness or the payback but having things that I can't do because of my stupid body pushed in my face. Generally I'm in a good place emotionally at present, making the most of retirement and not getting bored! I feel like such a coward about this class. I just don't want to go tomorrow and feel so useless again. I hated having to have things made easier for me. I hated that everyone else could do more. I hated the way my stupid body was letting me down.
I hate feeling useless and I hate being made to feel like this.
He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
Julian of Norwich
0
Comments
Don't be hard on yourself and don't do yourself down, you are a strong woman, always have been and always will be. ((( ))). DD
This is just another hurdle, a tricky one because so much of it is to do with emotions rather than actual pain or disability.
I think we all have our sticking pointa. I remember when I was first diagnosed, age 15. Several old ladies at my church virtually welcomed me into their gang. I knew I didn't belong there and didn't want to. I used to literally run away from them although it hurt my ankles dreadfully. More recently, shortly before my knee revision, I joined a gym. Every piece of equipment had to be lowered to zero for me. Oddly, by then I didn't care. So much arthritic water under the bridge.
Do I envy sprightly 80yr olds? Yes. And no. I am as I am and not ashamed of it. Life is what it is. Others have their strengths and weaknesses. I have mine. My physical weaknesses are more obvious but so what? Much of the emotional strength I have, I have through overcoming the hurdles that arthritis has put before me. The same goes for you. This is just another one. You are strong enough to get over it and will be even stronger once you have done so. And justifiably proud of yourself.
Julian of Norwich
It's irrelevant what age and ability other participants are, we are all different and face different challenges and responses to our medical problems;
Learning something new isn't always easy or straightforward, and having difficulties mastering something can happen to anyone. How would you have approached this if it had been one of your pupils saying " I can't do it Miss" at the first attempt?
Barbara
It just wasn't the right thing for me at this time, but as and when I can ask my GP to re-refer me.
Julian of Norwich
Julian of Norwich
Julian of Norwich
I hope you have a pleasant Easter. DD
Julian of Norwich
I did one of those physio classes, I was the youngest. Without it I would not have had the confidence to go to aqua fit. So if you are up to it, it is well worth it.
Well done for going!!!
"Normal" people don't understand the amount of courage it takes to do this stuff and how much arthritis affects confidence.
Sent from my Signature Touch using Tapatalk
When my pain and range of movement was at its worst I was offered physio 1:1 and thankful for it...I think I'd have felt anxious and demoralised by a group too as I very much was comparing myself to others at that point and hyper aware of what I wasn't able to do.
It's very satisfying however to make that gradual progress with your own exercise regime at your own pace in your own home that gets you ready to get out and exercise in more public places again.
Good luck with setting your own goals