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Moving house

SloshSlosh Posts: 3,194
edited 25. Jun 2018, 05:46 in Living with Arthritis archive
I'm sure once it gets nearer the time, I will be coming on here for advice, but I had a lovely surprise the other day.
My daughter messaged me and asked if she and her family moved out of London would I move too? Easy question to answer, yes. She then replied they are looking at moving to the Peterborough area as rental prices are lower and they think it will be a better environment for the children, but she would only do it if I moved to the same area as she wants/needs me nearby.

I felt really choked that she (and my son-in-law) felt this way, and so honoured. We're looking at a 12 month timescale (fingers crossed).
He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
Julian of Norwich


  • dreamdaisydreamdaisy Posts: 31,567 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Slosh, how lovely! I have young friends who moved from Hackney to Chelmsford for similar reasons, a nicer environment for their two very young children, better schools, closer to grandparents and less expensive than renting in London (tho these savings have gone on extra commuting costs!). How lovely to be included in their plans and who knows, a quieter and somewhat slower pace of life could have knock-on benefits too. Keep us informed! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • SloshSlosh Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I will do DD, I do like the area of London I'm in as it's on the edge of Epping Forest and has a lot of positives, plus I've lived in the area for over 30 years. But the plan has been for a while for me to move closer to her in around 3 years and I'm not so keen on the area she lives in.
    It's the practicalities of the move that really concern me, last time I moved was about 15 years ago and not only is that move a bit of a blur as my then husband left me the day after we completed on the purchase so I was still in shock if that makes sense, it was also pre arthritis.
    It will be great knowing I can get advice here.
    I like having time to plan, my first step will be to do some more de-cluttering, I've already made a start, now need to recruit a friend to get up to the cupboards I can't reach!
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • Airwave!Airwave! Posts: 2,427 ✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    We moved when I retired and it proved to be a huge positive step because we all wanted it.

    Good luck,
  • daffy2daffy2 Posts: 1,713
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    If you move before your daughter then they can help you with the hard work, and you will be settled and able to assist with grandma duties when they make their move?
    It sounds like the right idea at the right time - you are starting a new stage of your life with having had to stop work, and this reinforces that new beginnings and opportunities outlook.
    It is touching when our youngsters make their care and need for us obvious isn't it? My DIL apparently said to my son last year when he was fretting about my possible future care needs that she considered it would be as much her responsibility as his and that if I had to move to be near them for support she would see visiting and helping as something she would want and expect to be part of. I was very moved and I know that my son found it reassuring as well.
  • stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 25,993 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    As we came out of the restaurant yesterday, with our family, I said to Mr SW how lucky we are that our sons and families both want us around and spending time with them which is always a lot of fun for all concerned. As you know we moved here to be nearer to one son nearly two years ago. I am at your disposal, Slosh, re tips and advice.

    Right now, especially if you'll be downsizing, I'd just recommend charity shops and the local recycling centre :roll: The more gently and slowly one can do such things the better. I started carefully and ended up utterly ruthless :lol:

    We are approx 10-15 minutes drive away from the family. I reckon that's about perfect.

    Removal firms will provide boxes and even pack but will charge for the privilege. Someone on here recommended banana boxes to me (It could have been daffy who is a very useful source of info) and they are perfect. Very strong but not so big no-one can carry them. And the holes help. And they stack well and safely. But, near us, only Morrisons still had them available by the tills. Other supermarkets might let you have some if you ask.
    “There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken
  • SloshSlosh Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks, we haven't got as far as deciding who moves first, they will need to find a lettings agent who accepts housing benefit claimants (my daughter has severe endometritis and ME and her husband has been unable to find work for sometime) but I have offered to be a guarantor and fund their deposit (& first months rent if needed) so hopefully that will help. I will be a cash buyer which should make things easier for me.

    Thanks SW, I remember your move and will certainly take you up on your offer of advice. I won't be downsizing as such, my current house isn't large, but it will be lovely to have somewhere with a proper fitted kitchen! As I have had a dual person agreed mortgage but always paid it from one income I've never been able to afford to upgrade things like that.
    I have already started to de-clutter, and that is my first step, I'm pretty good at that but I have also recruited a friend to come and help me over the summer by climbing up to the cupboards I can't reach and then helping me with a trip to the dump. I also have another who has done this and found lots of places to sell or donate items to locally.

    Like you I feel so lucky to have a daughter and family who want me near by, it makes me feel I've done something right as a Mother!
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
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