Inaudible and Invisible

Options
stickywicket
stickywicket Member Posts: 27,726
edited 7. Jul 2018, 10:40 in Living with Arthritis archive
My big sister is visiting us. We went into town, she Mr SW and myself. We didn't know how much walking might be involved so we took the wheelchair.

All went well until Mr SW spied a beautiful golf bag in a charity shop. £12. Unfortunately complete with rubbishy and heavy clubs but....

We tried to work out how to get back to the car. I suggested putting the bag over the arms of the wheelchair. No, Mr SW would carry it and push me. No, said my sister. She would push. I've been here before and I immediately offered to walk so that the clubs could ride but it's a well known fact that, when you're in a wheelchair, you are inaudible and invisible.

My sister pushed me a couple of yards until we came to a kerb. It was a very small kerb. The street is virtually a pedestrian precinct but with one-way access for taxis and trade vans. We got down the kerb OK, front wheels first which is entirely wrong but it was a small kerb and I knew to brace myself and lean backwards. We crossed and came to the opposite kerb. Here's where it all turned into Carry on Wheelchair Pushing. Mr SW takes these small kerbs at a run. I bounce up in the air a bit but it works. My sister pushed me right up to the kerb and it didn't. She couldn't get the front wheels up.

“I'll turn it round.”

“No, you can't go up backwards.” I said. “You'll tip me out. Let me just get out.” But, of course, I had no say as I was merely the inaudible, invisible wheelchair rider.

By now she had done a quarter turn and acquired a queue of cars waiting to pass.

“I'll just stay here until they've gone.”

“No. You can't. There isn't enough room for them. Just let me get out!” Of course the leading taxi driver wasn't going to risk his licence by even nearly mowing down a woman in a wheelchair and her elderly pusher but there's no getting out of a wheelchair unless your pusher is prepared to stop pushing.

By now it was easier for her to continue turning me round to face where we'd come from. “I'll take you back over the road." Now, it was obvious to me, but not to her, that, when we reached the other side, we'd have exactly the same problem there because she was going to stop again. And we did. And a wonderful old lady, who must have been 90 if she was a day, reached out to help yank the front of the chair up.

This, plus a row of tooting traffic, seemed to fluster my sister even more so, instead of accepting help graciously, she immediately dragged me backwards to side 2 once more. (As a comedy programme it would be deemed way too far-fetched.) And attempted to drag me backwards up the kerb.

At this point, just as one car driver was about to get out and do the job himself, Mr SW, by now way up the road and wondering what all the kerfuffle was about, turned, twigged, abandoned his beloved new golf bag and rushed to the rescue.

At my insistence, we placed the heavy bag on the footplates and, with me hugging it, made our way back to the car.

I think my big sister is just a little bit less confident about her ability to push me around. I do hope so.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright

Comments

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Your skill to relate an event with humour and levity is enviable: I don't know what comes over people as soon as one is in a chair but it really is a case of 'Does she take sugar?' Weird.

    When we moved Mr DD decided to throw out his very mediocre second hand golf clubs to save space. This he achieved by keeping the bag. :roll: DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Crikey SW - what a palaver! I was laughing my head off reading your tale.

    The few times I've had to use a wheelchair when I've been post-op if I see someone I know, they briefly say hello, ask how I am and then continue to have a very long conversation with the person pushing the wheelchair. I sit there like a garden gnome on the edge of a garden pond - minus the fishing rod. :lol: The conversation finishes, the person who I know, says goodbye to me and hurries off. Wonderful - not!

    DD - I can just imagine the look on your face when Mr DD threw his golf clubs out and kept the bag. :lol:

    GraceB
    Turn a negative into a positive!
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,726
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Grace, one weird experience was when a lady came up to me and said (as if I had a mental age of about 3) "Well, no-one's going to lose you with that lovely, bright handbag, are they?"

    "Or, indeed, when I'm stuck in a wheelchair" I wanted to reply but, instead, I smiled, graciously (Yes, folks, ME gracious :o ) and she turned to have a conversation with Mr SW saying "I always like to have a word with the person in the wheelchair."

    Frankly, she almost got my 'lovely bright handbag' in her chops but I restrained myself. There are more ways than arthritis to be handicapped.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Sticky, each time I see this thread title I keep seeing(and hearing) the beginning of the hymn "Immortal, invisible..."
    'Hid from our eyes' seems apt, but I'm not sure that 'In light inaccessible' can be used as the excuse....
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,726
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Unfortunately 'God only wise' doesn't quite apply either :wink:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Unfortunately 'God only wise' doesn't quite apply either :wink:
    You've got delegated authority for that.
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,154
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    What a kerffule