Confidence, self esteem and self awareness.

Airwave!
Airwave! Member Posts: 2,424
After a lifetime of arther, eight years of DLA mobility are coming to an end with an application for PIP. It took me many years to get my head around applying for DLA and admiting I have a disability.

In some ways I almost want to fail rather than admit I am not as able as I should be, I have a very strong sense of being head of the family and self awareness as a 'doer' in life, even though I was medically retired at 44. I have stood on my own two feet and supported my family and feel the pain of intrusive questioning in my life and a bump to my pride in filling in the PIP paperwork.

I feel a great weight on me, a pressure to be subservient to a government edict, does it matter how far I can walk some days, its pain thats the issue, do the politicians really want this to happen to all the disabled people in the country?

My cofidence is low and I doubt myself, but not the inequality of the system, who would willingly submit themselves to this without need?

Comments

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Airwave, you are the salt of the earth and if anyone deserves this benefit you do. You have not moaned or grabbed all you could from the system: you have contributed and, by applying for PIP, are only asking for what you are entitled to and what you have paid for.

    I don't know why but I'm thinking of a lad in my 8yr old grandson's baseball team. He pitches well, fields well and bats well. He's a real stalwart of the team but one game, while we were there, he had a nightmare and couldn't hit anything. As he walked off, drooping with embarassment, his mother shouted “Hold your head up high. Hold it up! You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

    Hóld your head up high, Airwave. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I recall once, filling in a benefits form and feeling as you do. I filled it in in anger and made that clear. I pointed out that my whole life consisted of struggle, effort and achievement beyond what I thought I could but now they wanted me to grovel and list my failures. I listed my failures with extremely bad grace and also listed a few achievements in contrast.

    Mind you, I do recall when I first realised I was disabled. It was as if I had found myself at the wrong side of a huge chasm. How had I got there? There was no going back. I was no longer 'normal'. It was scary and hugely unsettling.

    But, as I came to realise, there is absolutely no shame in being disabled. It's a fact of our lives and not our fault in any way. We have not asked for it and we have done our level best to overcome it. Those who make us beg for our rights are the ones who should be ashamed. And those who try to cheat and get us all a bad name.

    Apply for your rights. We are all with you.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,424
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks Sticky, sometimes our minds are the hardest bit to deal with.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ah, minds are the really murky bits :wink:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,424
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well, I lost my claim, a load of rubbish was sprouted with no account of pain and fatigue but I have no wish to go back through the claim and be made to feel as I was, I suppose I am beaten by the system.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Airwave, I really feel for you. I do hope you'll find the strength to fight on. PIP is a total shambles and it's becoming harder for those in power to argue any other way.

    It's hard to fight when one feels humiliated but sometimes it has to be done. When I put in a claim for … I think it was Disabled Housewives' Allowance back then ... I was refused. My GP was furious and practically made me appeal. As pure luck would have it the doctor doing the assessing for my appeal had previously worked in rheumatology and knew me. He was amazed that I had been refused and, frankly, from that point onwards, I felt he was just going through the essential motions. I won my appeal.

    71% of people who had their initial claim turned down won their appeal in the first three months of this year. Nearly 1/3 of people with chronic MS have been turned down. It's the government who should be ashamed, not you. Fight on, Airwave. Enlist Citizens' Advice and find your inner bulldog.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • BettyMac
    BettyMac Member Posts: 170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Airwave
    I'm sorry to hear that the system has let you down.
    Please think about contacting your local CAB for advice about appealing a PIP refusal.
    They have specially trained people who are skilled at dealing with this issue.