It doesn’t get easier but....

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Starburst
Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
edited 13. Jul 2018, 04:05 in Living with Arthritis archive
The other day, I realised I’ve spent a third of my life being unwell/disabled/whatever. Every time I think I’ve reached a point of acceptance and it begins to feel easier, something changes and I’m angry and sad all over again. Perhaps you don’t ever really accept some things, perhaps it doesn’t get easier or better or less emotionally painful. I think that’s ok though. You can learn to live with your limitations. You can learn to live with uncertainty. You can learn to live with the sadness and the anger. You can learn to just live in spite of it all.

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  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,726
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Sophie, you live up to your name. Those are wise words.

    Yes, there's always more acceptance to be fitted in, always new challenges, new disappointments, new uncertainties. It's tough but.....

    .....I think, after years of practice, I accept uncertainty and change better than those around me who have had more control over their lives. I remain as independent as possible but accept that minor, unwanted changes can, do and will continue to make major differences to my life. Mostly unwanted differences. I know I can and will adapt because I've had all these years of practice. And so will you :wink:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    It's a shoddy advantage that we have, 'we' meaning those of us who have rarely known good health (if we've known it at all) but, as advantages go, it's priceless.

    We know that there will be setbacks, that we will be flattened, floored, steamrollered and rendered thinner than the finest ham setting on the great bacon slicer of life because that is our experience. We also know, however, that no matter how long it may take we will return to the fray, stronger than we were, weaker than we need to be but fit enough. ((((( ))))) xxxxx
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello lovely girl, how are things today? I hope the bacon slicer of life has moved to a thicker setting. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Sticky, you make a good point. I mean all your points are good but this nailed it for me. Accepting the uncertainty and changes is something I initially felt unwilling to do. I was resentful. I am learning to go with the flow a bit more. I hope you are doing as well as can be.

    DD, thank you for your wise words. In times of sadness or anger, I often forget that we are able to return. It’s easy to forget that things aren’t rubbish forever, life ebbs and flows. I think it’s just life and I’m still learning.

    Thank you for checking in on me. I’ve been in hospital with a kidney infection but hoping to go home today. I’ve been sad and beyond exhausted the last few days but I’ve had so much love and support from family friends and colleagues. It reminds me that I’m loved which, in the end, is the most important thing to me.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I checked in because I care, I have been thinking about you and wondering how things are going. I am sorry to read you have been back in hospital, I hope you are recovering well.

    Learning is a life-long process, it rounds us as humans, expands our horizons (maybe not as far as those of Stephen Hawkins :wink: ) and teaches us strategies to better manage our crises and setbacks. It is very easy to lose sight of the positives when we're battling with all the negatives (they can be so overwhelming in comparison to the former) but one phrase sticks in my mind: it's from The Prophet by Khalil Gibran.


    The greater sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. DD

    🌹
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,726
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Starburst wrote:
    I’ve had so much love and support from family friends and colleagues. It reminds me that I’m loved which, in the end, is the most important thing to me.


    To love and be loved. Isn't that all that really matters?

    When people say " I have my health and my strength...." I think well, I have neither but I do have the essentials of life.

    Get well as quickly as possible and as slowly as necessary, Sophie. You know the drill and are already skilled in it.

    ((( )))
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • LignumVitae
    LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    It doesn’t get easier but you just keep going, head up, forward facing and never stopping, even when that’s the only thing you want to do. Nice to see you are still as amazing as ever (((())))
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter
  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,468
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    arther (no capital!) doesn't get easier to deal with but accepting does, it's taking me a lifetime (I can't remember the feeling of feeling fit) to accept my lot. Sometimes it feels like my mind is pushing me along to do what I can't or is that just ego? 😎

    Mind games! Which side will win?