I'm tired.

dreamdaisy
dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
edited 4. Oct 2018, 10:12 in Living with Arthritis archive
So what? That goes with the territory, doesn't it? Yes, it does, yada yada yada but what I am finding far more tiresome is making the best of things. I need a break from being polite, encouraging and upbeat.

This is how it is. I hurt because I have arthritis. I hurt all the time because I have arthritis. I am doubly blessed with arthritis and am fed up with being so, that cannot be changed but every once in a while I should acknowledge it's a literal pain. He recently asked to be told, every morning, how things were so I'm telling him. It's not going well, it seems lying helps one of us. :)

We recently had a fortnight away in a house which even The Spouse found uncomfy (welcome to my world, even our house can be uncomfortable. :roll: )
Yup, my shorter-than-me and healthy Spouse was, for once, struggling with sofas etc. too low for him. I spent the fortnight 'walking' sideways indoors because the house was overstuffed with furniture, it slept nine in five bedrooms but had only two small living rooms. The kitchen tap dispensed hot water through both taps. Hmmm. I also did all the driving which, despite being more comfy than being a passenger when he drives, is still a stress on my joints. Another arthritic lose-lose. :roll:

I am aware of the theory of holidays, they are the chance for a change of scene, to do things you don't usually do, to see new places, have new experiences. As a child holidays were hell thanks to the asthma, now they're hell thanks to arthritis. We went out, we saw places yada yada yada and none of it is worth my payyback, not any more. I'm done with 'holidays'. How do I persuade him to go on his own? DD
Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben

Comments

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 26,554
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh DD :(:(

    That really did not sound like a great holiday at all :(

    I hope he isn't planning another trip anytime soon though? Surely not? :roll:

    He loves them I know, but you clearly don't. Compromise is needed and not just by you. You have often said "there are two of us in this marriage" and are quite right, but this time it looks as if he saw some of the problems with that house for himself. Maybe not quite so many holidays and yes the odd one on his own if he really must go more than you can manage...

    I guess you have to convince him that, although you adore him and will miss him, you will suffer much less if you stay at home sometimes.

    Best of luck

    t4591 and ((()))

    Toni xx
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Does he golf?(sorry can't remember)If so a trip with 'the lads' might be appropriate?
  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,427
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Home sweet home eh?
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you for your replies, everyone, they are appreciated. It's the end of summer so hopefully that will help matters, it was grim whilst it lasted so onwards and sideways I go towards the atmospheric travails of autumn. :wink: You're quite right, Frog, I've never been that fond of holidays, Daffy, he swims and does yoga and Airwave? I'm back in love with the house, I was wandering around it today in the early hours admiring my fairy lights, they cheer the place (and me) up.

    I am going out for lunch today with a friend so that will be fun. It's a lovely place, good food and a terrific shop attached, what could be better for a Dismal Daisy? I have far more to be thankful about than moany but the negativity can (and does) win every now and again. That is not a bad thing as long as it does not become a habit, yes? DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 26,554
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    We can't be cheerful all of he time DD. No-one can.

    A lovely lunch out with maybe some retail therapy thrown in sounds just the ticket :)

    Take care of yourself and continue to enjoy being home t4591

    Love

    Toni xx
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yoga retreat?
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 26,554
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    daffy2 wrote:
    Yoga retreat?



    Oooh! that is an idea!! Can I come too?
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    DD holidays are sometimes just not worth it. I often think that the hotels which offer both spa and golf facilities are on to a real winner!
    Even for the able bodied and healthy holidays can be stressful, add in arthritis and co and that is magnified.
    He did not say you will not be storm tossed, you will not be sore distressed, you will not be work weary. He said you will not be overcome.
    Julian of Norwich
  • turtle
    turtle Member Posts: 30
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I just saw this post. Holidays are not that for me - too complicated to deal with the arthritis and other conditions to make them pleasant. I do go out to lunch with friends, but feel bad that I cannot join them in their long walks or physical activities.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I've never felt bad that I cannot do what others can because one day they won't be able to do with ease what they take for granted now. If I feel anything it's schadenfreude as my peers begin to ache, creak and bemoan that they can no longer do twenty-mile walks with no ill-effects. Diddums, you thought you would never age?

    We will carry on going away because he enjoys it and the arthritis must not be allowed to dominate to such an extent. I am going to be more disciplined with myself and not work so hard at enjoyment. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • Lucy14
    Lucy14 Member Posts: 14
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Aww sorry you didnt enjoy your holiday, it is perfectly ok to have a whinge..its good for the soul...its hard work being up beat all the time...Holidays are supposed to be enjoyable and there is nothing worse than having to pretend you are enjoying yourself when all you want to do is be at home..
    xx
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