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danm2010
danm2010 Member Posts: 32
edited 13. Dec 2018, 15:42 in Say Hello Archive
Hello,

The names Dan. 31 years old. Reactive arthritis.

Told 10 years ago I had it and unlucky to have it all the time and then after 2 years lucky enough in went into remission for the last 10 years until recently.

Anyone else scared of being homeless or being made homeless by losing your job due to arthritis?

I was fine 4 months ago - I accepted a new job when I could walk - more heavy lifting than my last job but no reason to suspect a flare to happen...Anyways - I got a clot in my leg and a skin infection and that started a fresh flare up.

Hips, knees and wrists - walking like woody off toy story - pain is unbearable - it’s been so long I’d actually forgotten what it was like.

Now I’m in a position if I don’t come into work I don’t get paid sick pay as I’m still in a 6 month probation - the situation is stressful as I’ve got a little girl and house to manage.

Anyone who understands will be enough for me, I don’t want a hand out or even help just a nice chat will be enough - someone who is in pain or once felt the pain and understands will be refreshing rather than an “aww” or look of it’s not happening to me so it doesn’t matter.

Chat soon,
Dan


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Comments

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,720
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Dan
    Hello Dan. What a horrible situation to be in! As if arthritis alone weren't enough you also have the threat of losing your job. I know ReA can disappear though, personally, I would never trust any type of arthritis. It's a sneaky, devious little so and so.

    This has never happened to me because it was clear, after my first son was born, that no employer would ever want me again. I think maybe that had its advantages. We'd only the one wage coming in and often had to 'make do and mend' - literally – but it doesn't seem to have done our sons any harm.

    Why don't you ring our Helpline people? They're very good for a chat and might be far more clued up then I am about what you could do. Good luck and please stick around.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello, it's nice to meet you and I am sorry you have had to find us. I am in my 22nd year of psoriatic arthritis, 7th year of OA and 6th year of fibromyalgia, I started back in 1997 when I was 37 and it's all been downhill from there. The only benefit of having my kind of arthritis is that it has never gone away, I have never had a break from it so have not had to confront its return: I cannot begin to understand how difficult this must be for you.

    The PsA began 14 months after I started my own business so I was lucky in being self-employed, as things deteriorated I was able to tailor things more and more to suit my needs until I decided after 17 years that enough was enough. I am also happily childless so have not had that concern. We may have a disease in common but precious little else! I can, however, comprehend the difficulties of living with continual pain and the problems that brings in its wake: the loss of sleep, poor concentration and memory etc. We all get it on here because we've all got it. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • danm2010
    danm2010 Member Posts: 32
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thanks for replying. I know it usually clears up but the damage is done and may need surgery on my hips - but depends on the treatments effects - one of the questions I need to ask the doctor is whether even with treatment is just going to mask the damage.

    What happened to stop them from hiring you? Obviously arthritis but they can’t not hire you for that? - Did you apply for a lot of jobs? - obviously you don’t need to answer I’m just curious how easy/hard it is to find work.

    I would phone the helpline but I’m in a see what happens kind of stage.

    Kind regards,
    Dan


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  • danm2010
    danm2010 Member Posts: 32
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    At least knowing someone understands helps me DD. I don’t know just talking about it helps - obviously I know people go through it and some are worse off but it’s just nice to talk.


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  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    We're opposites - I very rarely talk about my arthritis because for me it solves nothing and does not help. My husband wishes I would talk to him more about it but to say what? I hurt, it hurts, I'm tired, yadda yadda yadda - very dull for both of us. It is what it is and it will do what it will do but how much I let it do is a different matter. I am, however, a good 'listener' and comprehend the impact this dross has on life.

    The forum is a valuable place for people to let rip - and they do. It is also a supportive place, I know more people read than post so they must gain something from it. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • danm2010
    danm2010 Member Posts: 32
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I think for your husband it’ll be more about seeing if he can do more for you or knowing he’s there to talk to about it no matter how dull it may be. Yeah it may be the same answer time and time again but it’s good to talk and listen.


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  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,720
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I think maybe it's different for such as DD and I who have lived with arthritis for so long. I'm always willing to talk to others about their arthritis or, indeed, about mine if they're genuinely interested but …. at home? Nah We'd both be bored rigid :lol:

    He knows the signs when it's bad. The curses become more frequent and colourful :oops: And, bless him, he'll usually step in and just do things which normally I'd be doing without making a big song and dance about it.

    In fact, when it's really bad I go quiet. And, for some weird reason, pull my nose :? And maybe rock.

    Perhaps it all dates back to when I started. At 15 you just want to be like your mates so obviously arthritis isn't a good topic of conversation. And, later, I was never going to be a moaning mother. Or, nowadays, grandmother.

    But I do remember the isolation of being the only one to have it. Apart from old ladies (the age I am now :lol: ) who saw me as being part of their gang. (Oh no I wasn't!) I guess that's why I like to be here for others. It wasn't good but you do learn to live with it.

    As for your earlier question about jobs – by the time I'd had my first son it was all I could do to get through a day at home. There were no modern DMARDS on offer. I'd to make do with NSAIDS and the occasional splurge on steroids. But, as for a job, I didn't even apply for any. I was in far more pain then than I am now that my knees and hips have been replaced and my wrists and ankles have fused themselves. I didn't drive in those days and couldn't get on and off buses. When the baby had a nap, so did I. It was chaos but, with the help of my lovely GPs, I muddled through. And, I guess, that's what I'd like to tell others - that they can muddle through too.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Sticky makes a valid point, we and our Spouses are old hands at this. She is married arthritic of fifty years standing, me a mere twenty-one. Our husbands know that there is precious little they can do to relieve the disease but they both up the practical help levels when required - they might need a gentle nudge once in a while because arthritis is a hidden condition, we can look very well and be very ill. We are both very fortunate because we are loved despite the disease, I know it is a factor in my marriage but my husband loves me for being me, and remaining me, despite the depredations of arthritis. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Dan this is such an upsetting story to read! I am so sorry and can totally understand your worries. I was a single parent to 2 littles myself the first time I had a flare. Luckily I remarried since (silly husband!!!), but it was scary and saw off all my savings at the time.

    I hope you did ring the helpline because your fear is understandable especially at this time of year. These days it will be happening more and more to people with any health problem with the increase in 0 hours contracts :x

    There are benefits you might be entitled to even now while you are still at work :?

    I'll shut up now but good luck

    Toni xx
  • danm2010
    danm2010 Member Posts: 32
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hey Toni,

    Sorry for my late reply - I’ve just trying to plod on as much as I can. I started methotrexate last week so getting used to those again. I didnt phone but I am trying to apply for PIP so see how that goes.

    I’m suppose to start humira and after constant ringing the nurses finally have got back to me and said they don’t deliver it anymore since the change to a generic drug - I just think if I didn’t ring would they actually ring me to tell me?

    I’m glad you made it through it all and had the support, does it affect you now? - my girlfriend supports me a lot but I don’t depend on her too much as don’t want to bring her down.

    Thanks for sharing,
    Dan




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