Scared

Hodgy

This weekend, hopefully about 8.00 am tomorrow morning (with the option of this turning to Sunday if everything is agony) I am hoping to do a long marathon training run. I had to hit it on the head two weeks ago and the planned 22 miles became way, way too much by 16 miles and I have paid a high price since. This is my dream that is the only reason I am putting myself through it, I am determined and stubborn and want this like my life depended on. I need your support so very, very much. I have ran 20 miles just before Christmas and another 20 just after, tomorrow was supposed to be 22 but I will be happy with 18-20 miles. I have to run in little 4 mile loops around the village I live in, just in case the pain is way to much and I'm stranded and can't get back home. This is psychologically demanding as I have to pass my own front door even when I'm hurting and try for another loop if I can, when all I want to do is stop the pain. My hubby always accompanies me on my long runs on his bike- he is my coach and my hero- he has ran many marathons himself and understands me. I'm not really sure why I'm typing all of this as I have only just joined here. But I think it's because I'm really scared, scared of losing my dream and really scared of the pain. Please don't judge me as crazy as I'm pretty sure everyone on here at some time has pursued something they love even though they were scared and even though they knew the pain that they would confront. Sharon a.k.a Hodgy-(the name on my running vest) X

crinkly1

Hello again and thank you for sharing your thoughts here. I'm sure that others will be joining me in thinking of you. This is going to be a defining run. You have taken every possible care in preparing and training but even for the elite athlete there are some things none of us can control.
I understand your fears about the potential outcome and whatever decisions may need to be faced in result - it's not the best place to be in! If it's good we will be rejoicing with you, if it doesn't match your dreams we will be 'in your pocket' as you contemplate the next stage of life's journey with your husband's support.

Be kind to yourself - the rest of your life is just as important as tomorrow.

[Deleted User]

Hi Hodgy,

Hope the run goes well today, and that the weather allows it! Everyone has their dreams and to see one so near fulfilment is fantastic. Think of all the miles you have run, and how good each little milestone made you feel (possibly literally :P )

Don’t lose sight of them as you chase the next milestone. You are already a star!

Take care
Yvonne x