So miserable!!!

SteveSetag
SteveSetag Member Posts: 6
edited 5. May 2019, 08:12 in Say hello
Hey, my name is Steve and I turned 40 in January. For last few years I've had pains in both my hands. Every year it gets worse and normally when the weather is colder. The first knuckle under my nails on all my fingers on both hands are where it hurts.

I recently (last november) returned to working in a kitchen and this seems to have heightened the pain. At start of the year i went to the doctors who sent me for an xray just to palm me off as per usual. I waited 8 weeks for the results only for him to tell me that i didn't have arthritis. I previously took out health insurance and in the 8 weeks i waited for xray results i reached the 6 month period i needed to make use of the service.

I asked my doctor to refer me to a rheumatologist which he begrudgingly did. I rang the hospital i was referred to and they told me the waiting list was 18 months. Armed with this waiting time i rang my insurance company who had me a a private appointment in a week

Anyway to cut a long story short i was diagnosed with early nodal osteoarthritis, that was just over a week ago and its still getting me down. Yes i know people have worse things, i know I've a lot to be thankful for but just now i am miserable, my fingers are all sore and some fingers are changing shape. I guess i came on here just to vent and possibly chat to people in a similar situation

Comments

  • moderator
    moderator Moderator Posts: 4,085
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Steve
    Welcome to the forum,sorry you are in pain and feel down,everyone understands the way you feel as we all have forms of Arthritis and will try and help in any way to make you feel part of the forum the most popular forums are Living with Arthritis and Chit Chat. Just chat on the forum and you will soon be contacted by like minded friendly people.
    All the best Christine
  • SteveSetag
    SteveSetag Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you very much for the lovely words Christine, I just need to shake of the initial shock and then just get on with it really
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,248
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Poor Steve! I'd love to try to help but his post seems to have gone missing. Can you help, please, Mods?
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • SteveSetag
    SteveSetag Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hey everyone, my name is steve and I'm 40 years old. I am a sole parent to 2 children aged 15 and 10. Last week i was diagnosed with Early Nodal Osteoarthritis.

    After a few years of pain in my in the top joints of all my fingers ans thumbs and being palmed of my doctor who my age amongst other things to rule out arthritis i decided to get health insurance. After 6 months i was able to use all of the services. I went back down to the doctor to get my xray results I'd to wait 8 weeks for (which he said were clear) and asked him for a referal, he wasn't keen and then i mentioned insurance. He was almost offended i wanted to go elsewhere but referred me to the NHS rheumatologist.

    I rang the NHS and discovered that the waiting list would be 18 months at least just to see someone. Armed with this time i got in touch with my insurance company who got me a private hospital appointment in a week.

    Anyway to cut a long story short its been a week and a half and i am miserable, i knew i had it before but before confirmation there was always a chance it might have been something else.I returned back to kitchen work and thats simply highlighted how sore i can be.

    I know there are many worse things to have, i know people have arthritis worse and younger but this is my life regardless. I just need to get my head around it but i am so miserable now (i have depression and social anxiety anyway). I can see the changes starting in shape of fingers already. To think i have a lifetime of this is heartbreaking just now. I know its trivial to what many have on here but i can't shake this feeling
  • moderator
    moderator Moderator Posts: 4,085
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Steve and Sticky,

    I’m not sure what happened here but I think all is now as it should be. :wink:

    Steve it’s bound to be a shock to get a diagnosis of osteoarthritis, you wonder if it will get worse, how soon and the pain is not good either. When I was first diagnosed I spent ages on the why me? and the how do I cope? You are cleverer than me, you have realised at the beginning that you aren’t alone and that others will have had a go at solving associated problems. Just ask.

    Here’s a start for you on pain management.

    https://www.arthritiscare.org.uk/assets/000/001/888/Managing_Pain_2017_Update_original.pdf?1510587710

    With your hands being affected you might want to try a wax bath. You immerse your hand in warm melted wax which keeps the heat in, take your hand out, enjoy the relief and when cold, peel off the wax for another day! I tried one at physio I think and found it really good, my hands were relaxed, good nights sleep ready for the next day.

    Take care
    Yvonne x
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You're absolutely right. So what if others are worse off? They are not you, you are not them, this is affecting YOU, YOUR life, YOUR work and relationships. Their troubles are irrelevant. I met a woman this week who has OA but her experience of it is very mild, she told me arthritis has little effect on anyone's life and isn't a big deal. I congratulated her in her positive outlook whilst thinking 'Just you wait, lady.'. :D

    I am twenty-plus years in and basically screwed by both kind of arthritis but tonight we have people coming round to dinner, tomorrow we might go to the vintage car rally if I'm up to it after a night of carousing (my all-terrain rollator will help me there) - life goes on despite my being restricted and it goes on because I want it too. I have always been more than my disease and, fortunately, having never had good health and, used to living a compromised life, have always organised things accordingly to live as best I can.

    I began my first arthritis, psoriatic, back in 1997 when I was 37. OA was diagnosed in 2011 and I now have in total around forty affected joints. It does affect life but I was able to work through the worst if it and am happily retired. (Part of the life organisation was being self-employed.) The meds I take for the PsA do nothing for the OA (which is having a ball at the moment thanks to the cold and damp).

    I hope you find the forum to be of interest, we all get it because we've all got it. Not many post but I gather that a fair few read, don't be afraid to add your thoughts to any thread that appeals, new voices are always welcome. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • vickyp
    vickyp Member Posts: 27
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    So what if others are worse off? They are not you, you are not them, this is affecting YOU, YOUR life, YOUR work and relationships.

    I have come across a few posts where you have said these words or similar Dreamdaisy and I would just like to thank you for them. Every time I read them I want to cry but in a good way. I thank you for telling me that it's ok to feel the whole range of emotions I feel around this. It seems to me to be part of the process to allow the fear and sadness to wash over one day and then be on top of it and pro-active the next. But if the fear and sadness is never allowed it simmers underneath like a kind of low depression and then it becomes really had to get pro-active. I hope that makes sense.

    Steve, welcome. I am sorry to hear that you are having such a crappy time. I know what you mean about wanting to vent to people in a similar situation. It is hard for people in our lives to understand chronic pain. I never understood chronic pain until I started to live with it. Like you I am new here so no wise words but I just wanted you to know that I hear you.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Vicky, you have taken my breath away by thanking me, I am very touched. I have to go now as we have people coming to dinner but I will reply to you more fully tomorrow. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • vickyp
    vickyp Member Posts: 27
    edited 4. May 2019, 18:46
    Enjoy your evening DD. :)
  • crinkly1
    crinkly1 Member Posts: 156
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Steve.

    I'm sorry to know you are struggling but you've done well to get a diagnosis at an early stage.

    Your experience sounds similar to mine as I also started my journey with nodal OA at around age 40, beginning with painful finger joints. It's a real 'b' when you are so busy at work and with family responsibilities!

    My job, too, relied on using my hands and it wasn't at all easy to keep going. For a long time I used a wax bath every evening to ease the joints before bedtime and that certainly helped although it did nothing to prevent the development of bony nodules. (It may have slowed down the process but there have been too few studies to record the effects.)

    Perhaps the best consolation I can offer is that, in time, the pain lessened and now only bothers me occasionally.

    Meanwhile there are no easy remedies so I hope your medics have suggestions and I strongly recommend that you use thicker handled utensils and gadgets to enable you to keep going with your kitchen work. At least your youngsters are old enough to take on some of the more 'challenging' household chores - if they don't already do so. My husband worked very long hours and our children were really good at doing some of the finer manual tasks for me.

    I do recall what an unpleasant shock it was when I learned that my problems were likely to be long-term so I hope you will find this a place in which to share your fears and frustrations. You may also find some useful tips among the threads on the 'Living with Arthritis' forum. Above all be kind to yourself as you adjust to a new situation!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello again vicky, rather than hijacking this thread I will reply to your original one, I hope that's OK. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben