Heartbroken

Starburst
Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
edited 19. May 2019, 01:44 in Living with arthritis
My precious little doggy dude has a mass, suspected to be cancer. He’s in very bad pain, showing signs of confusion and generally, he isn’t well. At the moment, he’s at the vet but I’ve been bringing him home during the day. Given his age and his current state, it’s unlikely to be treatable and my heart is breaking. I suspect in the next few days, he will be put to sleep. There’s the absolutely tiniest chance it may be treatable but in my heart, I know it’s a long shot and I don’t want to get my hopes up.

Oscar is 3 weeks away from his 11th birthday. He’s an old man but small breeds like him tend to live up to 18 years. I never imagined he wouldn’t reach a ripe old age.

I’ve had so much loss lately and this is a bolt out of the blue. My circumstances mean I won’t have children but this little dude kept those feelings at bay. He’s been at my side, literally and figuratively, through all the hard times. I don’t know how to go on without him. I don’t know how to stay goodbye.

Comments

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am so sorry, Sophie, what a blow this must be. I send many hugs. DD
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 3,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sophie

    I am so sorry to read this sad news about Oscar :( Sending you our very best wishes.

    Ellen on behalf of the Moderating Team XX
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    So sorry to hear this. It's hard to loose a pet.
  • Pheeny
    Pheeny Member Posts: 17
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Starburst, my heart is breaking with you, as will be a lot of people who know what it is like to lose a beautiful loved pet. Make the most of the time you have left with Oscar. Tell him how much you love him and prepare him too. It may seem strange to those who have never had a pet, but it will help him, and you. If and when you lose him, take a lock of his hair and put it in a frame. A friend advised me to do this when I lost my lovely Amber and I am so glad I did. It is a heartbreaking time. But it's all part of being the good mum to Oscar you always have been.
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Soph, that's horrible. Somehow the little darlings worm their way into our hearts. Just sending you all the love and hugs. I think get in as many cuddles as you can while you can, and lots of pictures too. Could you make a little memory box to keep, with a lock of hair, your favourite photos, and maybe his favourite toy or blanket?

    Our little dog belongs to our daughter-she says she's our "granddog"-I somehow don't think there will ever be a grandchild :lol: , she prefers animals to people (she's a zoo keeper).

    Sending you hugs ((((((( )))))) xxxx
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,223
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    ((( )))

    This is a tough time every which way and relentlessly so. Hang on in there.

    ((( )))
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sophie,

    I'm so sorry to read this. It is heart-breaking when you lose a much-loved pet. For you, living with the knowledge of what is likely to happen in the next few days must be truly horrific.

    I've lost several pets in the past. I'm absolutely dreading the day I have to say goodbye to my cat Tara. She's 17 in September and is one of the last remaining links with my late partner John (you may recall I lost him in 2016). I also live on my own (no children) so I understand the enormity of what you are sadly going through.

    During the next few days/hours make sure your Oscar has lots of his favourite treats and cuddles with you (although I'm sure you are doing that already).

    I'm thinking of you and your Oscar.

    GraceB
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    My best doggy friend was peacefully put to sleep yesterday afternoon in my arms in our home. It was very peaceful and calm. I am just beside myself with grief and sadness and I feel utterly lost. I will reply properly when I sort my head out. xx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am sorry but this had to be about the best for him, yes? All life is finite and we have to be ready for the hurt of losing those we love because it will happen. Remember the joy, love and support he brought, how he enriched your life and made you smile. DD
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :( So sorry to hear that, but if there's a good way to say goodbye that was it, you were there for him to the very end. Now care for yourself, be sad-it's inevitable and necessary, but remember to treasure all the good times.

    Sending hugs. xxxxx
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It was the right thing for Oscar and that’s all that matters. I was completely unprepared to let him suffer. He only became unwell on Tuesday 7th May and by the following Wednesday, the decision had been made. I pushed hard to ensure he had pain relief and in between, they let me spend some time at home with him. The vet said it is the ultimate gift and final act of kindness. I am totally and utterly at peace with my decision. It was planned for tonight but yesterday morning, I took him to the vet as he’d had pain overnight and I asked to bring it forward, which they did, and to give him more pain relief. His last morning with me was totally pain free which was unexpected but lovely for him to play at home. They told me to feed him his favourite foods which I did and he went to town! It was very sweet and quite funny.

    The crematorium were amazing; they came to collect him straight away and they were so touched by the situation that they delivered his ashes back today. He is home forever in a beautiful heart shaped silver ornament that doesn’t look like an urn. I got a paw print too and a poem that made me sob.

    I imagined he’d get old and creaky but perhaps it’s best he didn’t live to suffer and had a happy life.
    t4591
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,223
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well done, Sophie. In every sense of the word.
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,279
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sophie I am so sorry to hear you have lost your little friend :cry: ..they are indeed family..will be thinking about you and sending many hugs.. t4591
  • Pheeny
    Pheeny Member Posts: 17
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    So sorry to hear about Oscar, but glad you had the strength to do what was best for him. Thinking of you both. x
  • stellabean
    stellabean Member Posts: 307
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    So sorry to hear about Oscar but what a lucky boy he was to have such a brave and loving owner as you Sophie.