Try to keep busy but get very tired and aches in my feet.

Marcia

Hello everyone
I struggle to keep my home as clean and tidy as possible. I get very tired well my feet does when I stand for too long, I think I have a mild depression because after a while I just want to lay down on my bed. Night tme is a challenge for me too sleep, I am in and out of sleep.
I don't really have anyone to talk too about my arthritis and I font want to come across as moaning and get on people's nerves. It's challenging because my loved donth show any suport or care therefore I embrace the forum where I can leave a message to people who.understand and are helpful with information I was not aware of.
I thank everyone for their input.
Marcia

[Deleted User]

Thank you Marcia for your lovely post our members are lovely and do understand

If you want to talk to someone our helpline is available?

0800 520 05200

Also have you checked whether there is one of our groups nearby?

https://www.arthritiscare.org.uk/in-your-area

Best wishes

Ellen

daffy2

Hi Marcia. Sorry to hear you are a bit low at the moment. Arthritis is tiring and a drain on us physically and mentally. Can I suggest you post on the Living with Arthritis board as more people read that and can reply with support.
Have you looked at the housework situation in terms of priorities? Some things have to be done, others can be left if fatigue and/or pain cause too much difficulty. It's hard to do that if you are used to certain standards or if leaving some things causes you distress, but it's part of adapting to and learning to live with the condition. Getting those around you involved is another strategy, and may help them if they are feeling at a loss to know how to help you as they can't take away the arthritis. We have the condition, but those around us have to live with it as well!

stickywicket

Marcia, I don't think I can better daffy's reply but I'd just add that your GP might be able to help with night time pain relief and maybe a mild anti-depressant. It's hardly surprising that many people with arthritis also find they are suffering from depression.

'Clean and tidy'? I used to be really good at that. Then the arthritis bit and, as daffy says, I had to learn to prioritise. Some things are not necessary. Others can be made easier. We have to keep looking at ways to achieve this. 'Adapt and survive' is my motto. We must keep on adapting and prioritising.

I also agree with getting those around us involved. It can be done without any moaning and groaning. I know that's important to you and I agree that it's a very good thing not to. But, if we try to shoulder all the burden ourselves, others can feel shut out and not wanted. Often they do want to help but don't know how if we seem very efficient. Graciously accepting help offered (even when people don't do things as we would or maybe even to our standards) is very important. So is asking for help when it's needed.

I've just informed Mr SW that I'm 'on a sabbatical' for the rest of the week. I've overdone things badly and messed up an already messed up knee replacement. It needs time to settle. So he will wash up (and splash all the kitchen), put out the washing (in such a way that it won't dry properly), bring it in and throw it n a heap on the table (so that things need ironing which otherwise wouldn't) and then cook and serve an easy meal much of which will be cold by the time I get it as he's so slow to plate up. It can't be helped. He's doing his best and the last thing he needs is criticism. This is how arthritis affects us both.

Please feel free to post on here and 'tell it like it is'. We all need somewhere or someone to do that with. And, as daffy says, you'll get more replies if you use the Living With Arthritis forum.

vickyp

Hi Marcia,
I don't have any wise words but just wanted you to know that I hear you.

I can relate especially in not having anyone to talk to about it. My friends just 'don't get it' and why would they. I never 'got' chronic pain until I had to live it. It can feel isolating at times I know.

I can also relate to sleep difficulties. For me, this seems more related to the anxiety about arthritis than the pain itself. I am also in my 50s and I think it may be pretty common for women of my age to struggle with sleep, arthritis or not.

I agree with you that finding this board is great. Reading everyone's posts I notice that I feel less anxious and have lifted a lot of the low feelings which led me to seek it out in the first place.

Warm wishes
Vicky

dreamdaisy

it sounds as though you need some caring listening from a third party rather than you offering it to others. Is there anyone from your three-day course who can help? I've been taking a low daily dose of an anti-depressant for years and always will. Life is grim. Being stronger mentally helps me cope better. DD