Politeness

stickywicket

Where did it go? When? Why?

A friend's daughter has started teaching in a Chinese school and was amazed that, after each lesson, the class thanked her.

This set me wondering why, here in UK, we just accept lower standards. I can see it wouldn''t work in some schools but why can't it be the norm in most? Why can't we teach our children that 'please' and 'thank you' are the norm? What's so difficult about it?

These are two little words that oil human relationships and help us all to feel good and appreciated. And encourage us to give more help maybe to that person or to someone else.

They are little words with huge power. So why do so few people use them? From the earliest age my two got nothing until they said 'Ta'. Why don't we give these powerful gifts routinely to our children at home and in school? The Chinese can do it. Why can't we?

Kitty

I remember (many moons ago) when schoolboys wore school caps as part of thei uniform and they always raised them to a lady. If we needed the loo we'd put our hands up and asked "Please may I be excused". All schoolchildren said "Good morning miss/sir" when class began. We always stood up out of respect when a teacher would come in the room. Dinner ladies were all called Miss or Mrs so and so. Friends parents were always called uncle and aunty.

When I was a dinner lady I was always called Kath! I have neighbours who are the same age as my grandchildren and their children call me by my first name. :shock: The world has definitely changed and politeness seems to have disappeared along with respect. Or am I just an old fuddy duddy?

Morais

You may be an old fuddy duddy, just like I am, but that doesn't make you wrong. I've observed many of the same things over the last 20 years.

[Deleted User]

Welcome to the forum Morais, good to have you with us and I hope you will find much of interest and usefulness on here.

best wishes,

Ann

Airwave!

Politeness is a gift from the sender to the receiver. Chinese children learn from their parents who have learnt from the state that restricts freedoms and requires subservient behaviour from the masses. It is completely ridiculous to think that every child in Chinese state school wishes to say thank you and it not be a controlled behaviour.

I would rather my GC remain ‘little tykes’ and continue to run into my house throwing coats and shoes about the kitchen rather than have their behaviour modified by the state however we may wish for it. The rough edge of grandpas tongue serves us well!

barbara12

we were taught good manners and respect by our parents..has we did with our children and now GC...its such a shame how things are going..our youngest GDs school teaches them to say thankyou and please..and also to respect themselves and others..

stickywicket

I think that's a bit of a harsh judgement, Airwave. I'm not sure any child 'likes' being polite, at least at first. It's a learned/taught behaviour. I just think it's a good thing to be taught. It doesn't have to go hand in hand with subservience although, I guess, it might. The queen is invariably polite but surely never subservient?

All things are subject to misuse. Politeness can be used to keep someone at a distance when friendliness or affection would be more appropriate. But, generally, it is surely a good thing?

Airwave!

Yes, I may be wrong and have an opinion that is different from others, but I have outlined what I think is happening. A view of the world can come from many angles.

Do you think that Chinese people would be granted so much freedom to criticise?