I know I'm anxious.....

stickywicket
stickywicket Member Posts: 26,239
edited 12. Feb 2020, 13:49 in Living with arthritis
…....about Mr SW's upcoming THR tomorrow because I keep forgetting to check the cricket score :shock: Instead I'm doing far less important things like ensuring he has all he needs in his toilet bag and checking his socks have no holes in. Socks? My guess is, what with his new hip and my hands he'll be in compression socks until the neighbours call in environmental health. But, one has to cover all bases.

'Cover all bases'. He'd better be back by the weekend (supposedly Thursday) because we can only watch our grandson's baseball matches via his laptop. The grandson's Dad wanted to buy me one of those watches which are also computers and phones and will probably brew you a cuppa if asked nicely. I explained it was only two days and I'd need two months to learn how to work it. And another two to fix the strap onto my wrist. So I've had to promise to wear a bag at all times containing both landline and mobile. At what point did we swap roles?

The local end of the family are planning to come for a meal as usual on Thursday. (“We'll bring pizzas from the good restaurant.”) I protested that (a)we don't know when, or if, he'll be back and (b)after an hour and a half's journey by car from the private hospital he's been farmed out to, he'll almost certainly just want to get his feet up. Rubbish, asserts my party animal hippie. He'll be fine. He'll probably have a round of golf on the way home. You can see that my work, over the next few weeks, will be well and truly cut out for me.

On the plus side I've had so many offers of help I'm considering banning his return. People are so wonderfully kind and generous. Goodness knows how I'll fit in my toy boy :wink:

I've done it again :mrgreen: What's the score?
"The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
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Comments

  • moderator
    moderator Moderator Posts: 4,080
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Good morning SW

    Wishing Mr SW a successful stay in hospital and that his THR goes well. I can see why you are anxious. It is going to be difficult for you to do somethings for him when he comes home. Hopefully the offers of help will continue for a while after he is home.

    Thinking of you both
    ChrisK
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I can understand your apprehension, somehow it is all very different when it isn't you being done , isn't it? Plus you, the parent, now seems to be you, the child. That must be weird.

    I am not surprised you have received offers of help and ensure you make the most of the offered resources. You need to preserve your essential energies as much as possible so you can instruct hm in the extraordinarily dark and mysterious arts of being a patient patient. Yeah, good luck with that. :lol:

    Sincerely I hope all goes well for you both. I will be thinking of you very much.
    ((((((( ))))))) DD

    PS I know it's hot in Jo'burg, does that help?
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    As DD says, it's different when it's not you. I suspect your family are equally apprehensive - not least because of your 'interesting' recent history re hospital procedures etc - and are trying to impose normality on the situation by doing the usual things in the usual way.
    Given the distance involved are you going to be able to see him in hospital?

    PS socks do need at least one hole, otherwise you can't get the foot in...
  • stellabean
    stellabean Member Posts: 302
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I know when I had to leave my OH at the hospital for major spinal surgery it was the hardest thing I'd had to do as I saw his little face terrified as the lift doors closed. It was his first time ever in hospital and it was usually me staying behind. Best wishes to you both tomorrow and I hope all goes well in your role reversals.
  • phoenixoxo
    phoenixoxo Member Posts: 625
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yes, best wishes to both of you. And I'm happy to provide pocket duties, if required :)
    PsA (psoriatic arthritis) and other things since 1990. Happy to help when I can :-)
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,239
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you all.

    A patient patient, DD? Hm This is Mr SW we are talking about. :wink:

    I will not be visiting, daffy. He went at lunchtime, will have the op this evening and, hopefully, will be back home on Thursday. I did have a kind offer to run me there but that's a return journey of at least 3 hours and my guess is that tomorrow he'll be sleeping and physioing all day. Socks? Yes, just the one large hole :lol:

    Mod ChrisK, the hardest things for me to do will be ensuring he sticks to the 90 degrees rule and doesn't go wandering round the village at the weekend.

    Stellabean and phoenixoxo - thank you both. Yes, here's where my six footer, ex-rugby player starts to look very vulnerable. But he'll come back stronger in more ways than one and no doubt will soon start lecturing me on how to deal with THRs :roll:
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • crinkly1
    crinkly1 Member Posts: 156
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Am thinking of you through these anxious hours as it's much harder when you are not in close contact for a couple of days.

    Much better, though, that you keep your energy for when the patient is home and there will be things you can actually do for him.

    Look after yourself.
  • phoenixoxo
    phoenixoxo Member Posts: 625
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You're welcome, SW :)

    Ah, lectures... (*hides*) :lol:
    PsA (psoriatic arthritis) and other things since 1990. Happy to help when I can :-)
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello, I hope today has not been too twitchy and that all has gone well. I have been thinking of you and now wonder if the hard work has yet to come . . . . It must be odd for all concerned what with the boot being firmly on the other arthritic foot.

    ((((( ))))) DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,239
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you Crinkly, Phee and DD.

    Well, we both got through the op OK :lol: He had a good night until 4am then 'chatted' to our son in LA for a while until more pain relief arrived. He looked and sounded good.

    Meanwhile, I've been good, carrying my two phones around with me. I swear they're getting it together as whenever one rings so does the other. Different people, of course.

    I had a brilliant night's sleep with no-one bouncing around and moaning at the side of me :oops: Housework too seems minimal with the untidy one absent. That will change tomorrow :mrgreen:

    Number 2 son called in as I was washing up my few breakfast things. We commisserated with each other re the difference in household chaos when our respective, beloved spouses were at home.
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,090
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello SW..sorry this is late...my eyes are not good so have to try and limit my post
    I am glad to hear Mr SW has had is op..gosh I did laugh at your post... you really do make the most of everything.
    Wishing Mr SW a speedy recovery...

    I see you have plenty of help..so make the most of it..and good luck to your Grandson xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Morning Sticky, what news of the patient? More importantly, how are you? Enjoying your super-clean and super-tidy house? Wondering how to make a mess? Believe you me that bit is very easy. :wink: DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,239
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you Barbara (Don't dare apologise :lol: ) and DD.

    Yes, after a will-he / won't he morning I got him back at tea time. It was wonderful to have him home for....ooooh about 5 minutes :lol:

    The house is now deeply untidy again and resounding to the noise of snores punctuated by the clattering of sticks on laminate. I love him dearly, I'm immensely relieved all has gone well but, frankly, I think I'd rather do this next bit myself. I'm used to inertia punctuated by bursts of horrible exercises. He's not.

    Besides, I'm a rubbish carer. I have to be in another room so's I'm nót constantly telling him to drink, pull up his compression 'stockings' (which have slid to his ankles) and do all the exercises not just the easy ones.

    Ah, togetherness is wonderful :D
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I envy your ability with words, you paint a vivid picture with so few: I can hear the sticks. :lol: The occasions on which we have a physical advantage over the healthy are few and far between but this is one of those gloroius times, as you say you have done the inertia with painful exercise (and more than once), I suspect he is outraged he is still in pain and that doing them causes more.

    I am pleased he is home, it still seems indecently quick to me but what do I know? I've always been in for a week or more, the one time it was suposed to be an in/out job it turned into a fortnght. :roll: Good luck with the convalescence nursing, Florence old girl. :wink: DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sticky ,sorry I'm late getting here pleased his stickiness is doing well, having just been through it all with John you have my deepest sympathies cos he was a mardy so & so.He s been discharged by the hospital his op was a great success.Best wishes to both Mig. X

    p.s. Isn't it great to have a neat and tidy house it lasted barely 24 hours when he got home.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,239
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    mig wrote:
    p.s. Isn't it great to have a neat and tidy house it lasted barely 24 hours when he got home.


    24 hours :o You jammy so and so :lol: I didn't get 24 minutes :lol:

    Thanks, mig. I hope mine will take his cue from yours re recovering well.

    DD, thanks again. They send us home quickly so as to avoid (a)hospital infections and (b)dependency. I don't really have a problem with that but it would have been nice if the private hospital which the NHS sent him to had provided compression stockings that stayed up (His are supposedly calf length but don't stay there despite him not having skinny legs) and changed his dressing before discharging him. It's rolling up and he wants me to do it but I won't. It's his first dressing so will almost certainly tug summat open when removed and I'm not qualified to deal with whatever's there. He sees our health centre nurse tomorrow. Meanwhile I've taped it down with micropore where it's coming adrift.
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,239
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Day 8 in the SW Post-Op Household.

    Will all local divorce lawyers please be on standby.

    One of us is permanently exhausted and the other is almost permanently snoring. Your guess.

    "It hurts" Well, yes. He's been chopped and sawed and pummelled and stitched. "Should it still hurt :roll:

    Most of my cuppas and bottles of water went undrunk (Booklet says at least 8 per day) as "it hurts to walk to the loo." Now that he has antiobiotics for a bladder infection ("The bladder shrinks if it doesn't get enough in it" the nurse explained) he's being more sensible.

    Yesterday, we took a walk - to the end of our short garden and back. My suggestion. I thought the warmish sunshine and seeing the daffs growing would perk him up. "There's loads of weeding needs doing" he observed.

    I have noticed that, whenever, in the past, I have asked him to do something the answer is almost always "Just a sec." In that 'sec' he usually forgets all about it. Now, whenever he asks me to do something I'm expected to rush instantly :? to fulfill my master's wishes.

    To quote the eminent philosopher Mr Spock of Star Trek fame 'It's life, Jim, but not as we know it.
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Think you have my cloned hubby there.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,239
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You mean there are two :shock: :shock: :shock:

    Poor you, mig :lol:
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    May the good lord help us both
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    P.S. this morning Mr Moan-a-lot is out at his exercise class :shock: I have the chance to put his mess to rights.
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    mig wrote:
    P.S. this morning Mr Moan-a-lot is out at his exercise class :shock: I have the chance to put his mess to rights.
    Does he still believe in Father Christmas or just the housework fairies...?!
    My ex is on his own now and finding there's more to keeping house than loading the dishwasher and occasionally the washing machine. It's come as a bit of a shock because although working away from home during most of our marriage facilitated blindness to domestic management, if asked he would have said he was pretty hands-on during the long relationship that finished a year ago.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,239
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ah self belief and self delusion!

    Am I right in thinking all men believe toilets are self-cleaning?

    On the whóle mine's pretty good. He just has an aversion to clean, flat surfaces and feels they must regularly be covered with bóoks, letters, phones, basically anything he wishes to put down. He also loses things a lot. I wonder why :roll:

    Today he has his stitches out. He's been told it doesn't hurt these days :o We shall see :lol:
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I hope the stitch removal went OK and he is improving his patient behaviour. I understand the horizontal-surface-covering thing as I do it too; I also have 'squirrel corners' next to various armchairs, under the sideboard, basically anywhere there's a space to stash stuff. I'm very creatve with their locations, e.g. the christmas tree skirts failed to be put away so they are folded behind the sofa cushions. :D

    Of course the ex-Mr Daffy thought he was God's gift to domestic matters, so did my dad: his sole contribution was washing up, carving joints and getting in the way 'helping' in the kitchen on Christmas Day. His domestic skils were limited to the garden plus fettling the boiler and the car; Ma was unable to deal with the latter two.

    When Mr DD retired he promised to wash out, on a regular basis, our three wheelie bins. I foolishly believed him so cancelled our wheelie bin hoser-outer fairies. Idiot. :roll: DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,239
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Stitches out painlessly - :? I don't quite understand that as none of mine ever have been and he's no stoic but, hey, who cares?

    I've now convinced him that washing up is good physio (It's good for me anyway :wink: ) and to start dropping off pain relief so he's actually awake more.

    Even better, our dil rang this morning to ask if it'd be OK if they all came for lunch, bringing home-made soup and scones :D:D:D I don't refuse offers like that :D
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran