Feeling very down & Depressed 😥😥😥

Jules70

Hi All ,
I’m feeling very down and low in mood past few weeks 😥😥
I just feel everything is getting on top of me feel can’t cope with all my problems.
I went on holiday at beginning of feb for week which did me good even though I struggled with walking at times.
I’ve been bk now over month my mood and how I’m feeling has deteriorated I’m having a lot of crying spells when I’m on my own and feel helpless and alone .
My husband works nights and is in bed during day and I have 2 kids aged 12 and 9 at home.
I just feel every day is same and am struggling for money due to not being able to work for past few months due to oesteoarthiritis and tear in my left knee .
I went for job interview last week which I was offered but family said I shouldn’t take it because I would struggle fact I’m on waiting list for TKR and would need months off to recover.
The UC decision today about my work capability seems to have been the straw that broke camels back spent all day ringing Citizens advice /work about my contract ending and trying speak to hospital consultant secretary all day getting frustrated with it all .
My financial situation is big part of it got no money to do anything to take my mind off waiting for surgery .
My family all work full time no one I can visit as they’re all busy .
I’ve tried to speak to my husband about things but he doesn’t know what to do to help .
I’ve got problem with my left knee in constant pain in leg and knee area causing me to limp after sitting for period of time .
I’m on waiting list for my right knee but my left knee is getting more painful every week I’m still waiting to go bk to hospital sign consent forms told me I would be seen within 6 weeks in jan still waiting told no appts till 9th April to see consultant .
Got pre - op on Friday to attend had OT questionnaire to fill in regarding measuring heights of chairs bath toilet etc in readiness for my surgery .
I prob would benefit from some counselling but don’t have funds to pay for this don’t know if there is anywhere you can get This for free?
I feel it’s one thing after another at moment 😩 and I’m really struggling with everything 😥
Thanks for listening .

chrisb

Hi Jules,

I'm sorry to hear that you're facing so many challenges and struggling to cope as a result.

Hopefully some forum members will be able to provide some help and advice. Have you considered contacting our helpline? They may be able to offer useful advice such as pointing you in the right direction for access to some relevant counselling . Their number is 0800 520 0520 and they can be contacted on weekdays 09:00 to 20:00.

I hope that the forum can provide you with some support.

Kind Regards

ChrisB (Moderator)

HelenP

Hello Jules 70 - If it's any comfort you are not alone - at least we can say how we feel through this website - I too have thought about therapy to overcome anxiety as I refuse to take anti-anxiety meds - they made me feel pretty awful when I tried.

What you have done today is the first step to feeling brighter - saying how you feel is what so many of us just don't do - because we feel guilty or some sort of failure. Believe you me you are far from alone in all that you say - you could try keeping a diary or just going on line here to record high spots - which will come I can assure you or low days when they happen - which get less by talking about them.

Jules - you will recover from this - you are clearly young and have a future ahead of you - as I say just opening up is a pretty wonderful thing and just shows that you have it in you! with love Helen.

dreamdaisy

Join the club. Having just emerged from a two month flare of the PsA I am now on anti-bios for tonsilitis so off the meds. The flare symptoms are creeping back so I might as well write off this and next month now.

You undoubtedly have a lot on your plate, I wonder if taking the risk and accepting the job would have led to a positive turn-around in both your physical and mental health: sometimes a new challenge, although daunting, is worth accepting: even if it does eventually go wrong, at least you have the knowledge that you tried. I know how fortunate I am, I have always tailored my life to my circumstances thro necessity and done the hard yards with work whereas it is very different for you and far harder. DD

BettyMac

Hi Jules

I’m sorry you’re having such a bad time.

It might be worth checking if your GP surgery offers counselling. I was surprised to find mine does and only found it on their website.

Please remember you’ll always have people on here who will understand and listen.

stellabean

Hi Jules I am sorry things are difficult at the moment but they will improve, talking is the first step.It is often hard to talk to family as you can feel you don't want to upset them. My GP surgery offers counselling which has helped me during my worse times it is easy to talk through your darkest thoughts with someone who isn't going to judge you or become upset.

You are not alone is there an arthritis group near you? or you can talk on here it helps when people understand where you are coming from.

Bluebell7

Hi Jules,

I'm so sorry to hear your struggling, you could try contacting the Samaritans they are good listeners.

Hope you get some counselling thru your Drs practice.

Pain often goes hand in hand with depression.

Sending hugs

Airwave!

Feeling low and depressed is just a thought and as such can be changed to a more positive one.

wake up and smell the coffee, fresh cut grass or whatever floats your boat 😁. It is too easy to feel depressed, why when you can feel good, they are just thoughts.

Its a grin, honest!

phoenixoxo

Hi Jules,

Sorry I've only just seen this thread. I'm sorry things are so difficult for you at the moment . It reminds me of a time back in 2004 when I had to leave my office job, my joints were very painful, and I was struggling to make ends meet. It felt like everything was going wrong.

How are you feeling today? Don't worry, you don't have to answer if you're not feeling up to it. I'm just wondering how you got on at your pre-op, if that was this Friday. I hope it went well 🍀

Best wishes,

Phee

Jules70

Hi Phoenixoxo I’m feeling a little better this week trying to stAy positive which isn’t easy.
My pre op went ok did usual checks ECG bloods height weight swab tests for MRSA etc not heard anything back yet from hospital .
My only concern now is my op being delayed because of this Coronavirus I already feel like I’m living month to month and everything is reliant on me getting my knee sorted out .
Also as well got some investigations going on as having recurrent UTI so that has been adding to my stress and causing additional pain .
It’s good to come on this forum and speak honestly and for people to listen as my family don’t understand they often make me feel worse .
I know I’m going to have good days bad days it’s been an accumulation of added stresses past 5 weeks does get on top of you .

frogmorton

This forum is a haven for us to have a moan, support each other and sometimes have a laugh too.

Our families can't really totally understand although many try, but we just do and gosh it helps.

When I first found this forum many years ago I spent the first few weeks crying because of all the wonderful support I got - I felt I belonged.

Jules70

Yes I agree with you since I joined up reading about other people’s predicament I know my problems are insignificant compared to most support I have received has been invaluable hard talking to family a lot of they don’t understand how you feel like people on here do Because they’ve never been through it

phoenixoxo

Hi Jules,

I'm glad you're feeling a little better this week. Yes, it isn't easy staying positive, especially when a lot of difficulties crop up at the same time.

It's good news that your pre-op went well. We're living in very uncertain times at the moment, so I'm not surprised you're concerned about your op being postponed. And of course the UTI investigation is causing extra stress. I wish I could wave a magic wand for you.

Toni's spot on about this forum being a haven for when times are tough. My family often talk about long walks they've enjoyed, so I certainly appreciate being in a place where I don't feel like the odd person out. It's great that you feel able to speak honestly here, as that might just take some of the stress off. I'm thinking out to you 🍀

Best wishes,

Phee

Airwave!

Often our emotional feelings follow the course of our illness, to the detriment of our bodies, breaking that link is a difficult thing to achieve but we do need to give ourselves a break. The mind is a powerful thing and mastering it can take a lifetime, we do need to try and keep attempting to harness the good that can come from it. Since it is for our own good and the people who surround us we must overcome.