Shielding - the scary bit

I think I'm reasonably brave. I was born in Huddersfield in 1946 and it was compulsory. If you were unable to put on a show of bravery the other kids ensured you really did have something to scream about.

But, shielding......

I can handle everything except having Mr SW as hairdresser / podiatrist. He is, or at least was, better suited to flinging rugby balls around or terrorising batsmen. But, of course, hairdressers are currently out, my lovely NHS podiatrists are currently out and, after nearly 60 years of RA, my hands reach neither my hair nor my extremely odd, twisty, individually curved toes / toenails. Indeed, my hands reach nothing very useful.

So far I've braved him twice. Hair is scary. After 52 years of marriage he's still blissfully unaware of where my ears are located. But, he's only scratched my neck once. (“I haven't scratched it. Where? Oops, yes.)

Toes are a different matter even though he's bought a proper pair of evil-looking industrial clipping things for the purpose. I've only let him loose on the easier ones, not the ones that grow so thick my podiatrists have to file the entire fronts of the nails down with an electric thingy. My beloved will not be allowed there. No way José. Indeed, until now, I've only allowed the left foot to be done as I can at least see that one. But the right one is out of my sight due to exceptionally curly toes on the end of a foot that has no intention of ever again pointing forwards. Hitherto, that foot has required more trust than I can summon up after 52 years of marriage. Today, it had to be done. Well, a couple of toes did.

I think I was a brave soldier despite his enthusiasm for the job. (“It can't be that hard.”) (Yes, my love, it can and is.) I kept my nerve as he bent down, placed his bi-focals on the coffee table and squinted at my foot. I apologised for shrieking when he attempted to take a bit of toe with the nail. And I stopped him after two.

Arthritis does train us to be brave.

But not foolhardy.

Comments

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520

    A couple of thoughts have occurred involving a warm flannel and a large glass of wine. No, you don't suck the flannel while he bathes your unique feet in chenin blanc, rather drape the flannel over the toe to be tackled to soften the keratin then as he cuts you swig: Dutch courage via South Africa amd Sainsbury's.

    It is surprising how lockdown (which is basically our lives being lived by others who suddenly can't do what they want when they want) has actually affected us for whom this embargo on movement is not unusual. I am fortunate in that Mr DD can swipe a pair of clippers over me bonce and I am still able to tackle my trotters after every shower. For those who cannot, however, I suspect that many a yeti of both genders will be emerging when the world begins to reopen.

    I award you a DD gold star sticker for bwavewy. 😀

  • Lilymary
    Lilymary Member Posts: 1,672

    Thank you ladies for giving me a good chuckle!

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520

    Sticky and me are old sparring partners on the chuckle front, we do not hold the view that arthritis is not a laughing matter. She is an arthritic of over 50 years standing, she joined the forum a few months after me and she has taught much by attitude and example. A couple of years ago she developed a new rheumatoid nodule on a forefinger. Did wailing and gnashing of teeth result? Nah, she put it to good use turning rocker light switches on and off. They make 'em tough in 'Uddersfield! DD

  • Lilymary
    Lilymary Member Posts: 1,672

    That’s the way to go! I’ve got wobbly eyesight, which affects my central vision and occasionally results in shimmering lights. Rather than worry myself to death, I’ve learnt to sit back and enjoy the light show (it can be quite pretty sometimes) and have a giggle when Boris Johnson is on telly looking like a cyclops!

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,212

    Oh my Stickywicket😮😮

    You are a strong woman that's all I can say! I don't think I could allow Paul to cut my hair or toenails I would sooner wear a hat and hit shoes (being larger)

    It's now less than a month until podiatrists and the like are allowed to see us all again I hope you will be able to make an appointment for the first day possible ((()))

    It's lovely to see you posting!

    Take care of yourself

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,224

    Thank you, ladies, for your kind words.

    DD - 'Dutch courage via South Africa and Sainsbury's.'? I like it. I shall, partially take your advice. I can't see the flannel – warm, cold, scorching or iced, serving any useful purpose here but the Chenin Blanc on the other hand...........I'd just better keep Mr SW away from it at least until he's finished with my feet. As for my teaching you stuff – oh dear! I dread to think what but I shall definitely plead unfit to plead.

    Lilymary – I like your take on it. I just feel I have to ask “Does Boris look better or worse as a cyclops?”

    Frog – Ah yes, but I'm in Scotland now remember. Still shielding until further notice though apparently, I can now jog. Really? I wish! . However, I have far more confidence in the Scottish government than the English one.

    I do miss the fun we used to have on here. The laughter has gone and arthritis is a really serious business now. Not in my house. Not with my family or friends. It may have my body but not my soul. There is a fine line between tragedy and comedy and we just need the right glasses to keep on the right side of it. My glasses, as DD is aware, usually contain Chenin Blanc.

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520

    It's not a serious business in this household either. Yes, there are times when it has to be paid a little more heed (this week is proving to be such a time) but we are still managing to ignore its weather-induced toddler tantrums. As I lurched down the hall earlier today, bouncing off the walls like a Saturday night drunk, I whistled the Laurel and Hardy theme and pointed out to The Spouse that I wasn't doing too badly for a 61 year old. He asked when I last did my meth injection. I said I had been bothered by a little prick on Monday evening: he replied he was truly sorry for that.

    Laughing really helps, it makes everything feel far better for a short while and there is nowt wrong with that. I agree we used to have some good giggles on here, now I have 'em elsewhere. DD