Help with mattresses !!

My wife has to have a new hip and I have problems with my shoulders - we are keen to get a new mattress as the medium firmness one that we acquired 2 years ago is now proving to be uncomfortable - there seems to be sooooo many different bits of opposing advice ; some saying firm some saying soft - has anyone been through this before - so confused and the last thing we want to do is spend £1000 and get the wrong one !!


  • AlanM
    AlanM Member Posts: 46

    Hi @paulmewis

    and welcome to the forum.

    You're concerned about having an appropriate mattress following your wife's planned hip operation and taking into account your own issues with shoulder pain.

    Obviously, as a charity we can't promote particular brands or commercial outlets; however, if you have a look at this link to our website, you will hopefully find some useful information about what to look for

    Others on the forum will undoubtedly pitch in with their own experiences.

    I look forward to seeing you on the forum and good luck with the mattress hunting!

    Best wishes


  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520

    Hello, this topic comes up again and again. My husband and me have two three foot mattresses zipped together, his side is medium, mine is firm. I cannot remember how the bases connect but we have the option of separating them when necessary such as illness or operation recovery. We spent a good five hours in John Lewis trying beds and pillows and ended up with mattresses handmade in Yorkshire, stuffed with all kinds of good natural things. They are very deep and heavy but I can still manage to turn and revolve them. We also bought Tempur pillows.

    We are due to replace them soon as they are seven years old - well, I think that way, he does not. I am thinking about no-turn memory foam, or possibly changing my three foot single for an electric version. I am steadily deteriorating thanks to psoriatic and osteorthritis which is why I need to replace. I will firstly return to John Lewis, armed with my Kindle and my pillows, plus my anti-bac spray; maybe this time next year if there's a vaccine (I am currently shielding and expect to be for some time yet). DD

  • paulmewis
    paulmewis Member Posts: 4
    edited 20. Jun 2020, 13:56
    Thanks for the feedback - keep well and healthy - trip planned to John Lewis soon !!

    Hi, it's great to get advice on where you can go to try out different types of mattress, just remember there are many places to buy your particular mattress/pillows from. YvonneH x
  • paulmewis
    paulmewis Member Posts: 4
    Wasn’t looking for brand recommendations but advice on firmness ! Medium isn’t doing it for us but a few people have said soft mattresses are bad - but the soft one at my aged aunts house is lovely - any comments on firmness would be great !
  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,428

    We have tried a memory foam mattress which we found to be stifling hot and uncomfortable. Our present mattress is a queen size firm one with natural products covering it, we find it very comfortable, the base has a medium height and consists of a slatted wood design.

    In order to stop excess pressure on my shoulder, when on my side, I have a shaped pillow, from IKEA, it has larger diameter rolled edges and is of a firmer foam to support my neck as well. I find that lying on my back starts off numb patches in my lower body and a heat sensation in my lower leg so lie where I’m comfortable.

    its a grin, honest!

  • Mike1
    Mike1 Member Posts: 1,992

    After several different ones over the years I went to a well known bed shop - the one with the computerised pressure machine - and tried several out, I ended up with one that had around 1500 springs with a memory foam bit on top, since then I have added a feather filled topper. Still can't get a decent night's kip (only 2 or 3 hours) despite having an electrically adjustable bed too, but it is the best comfort I have had.

  • lindac222
    lindac222 Member Posts: 3

    Hi.I am a new person to this forum, just wonder if anybody has any advice.

    I cant sleep later than 5am as my shoulders and other joints get painful and stiff, so though I would buy a new mattress that possibly may help.

    Does anybody recommend a supportive mattress and whereabouts would I be able to pursue one?

    On the webpages it says a foam one is good but then it says it may not spring back in time, so any advice would be gratefully appreciated.

    thanks for your time.


  • Crookesey
    Crookesey Bots Posts: 119

    I’m a 5.00 am guy myself, I go to bed at circa 7.00 pm, I sleep/attempt to sleep on my back on a firm mattress, I have R/A and no expensive mattress is ever going to change that, irrespective of what the mattress sellers promise. Well that’s my view, like it or not, I hope that I am wrong, I often am.

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,059

    I have tried expensive mattresses too and my only advice would be to think twice about memory foam - blimey was I hot! THAT woke me up and then of course I was more aware of pain 🙄

    Also it seemed to get molded into my body shape can that be good?

    As for firmness I still prefer medium firm and with a (is it wired?) edge so that when my husband gets up/moves it doesn't shake me about and wake me up again!!

  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,428

    Linda, Beware of what webpages say, the artistic prose they employ is to sell you what you think you want, The truth and the fantasy of you spending the right amount with them to convince yourself that you are doing the right thing can be far, far apart.

    Only buy from a retailer that has a long experience with their products, you can try different models with and that you can walk away from. You will be lying on a bed that you will spend a third or more of your life on, don’t buy on a whim. Once you’ve paid out, could you afford to do it again if the bed was wrong?

    its a grin, honest!

  • lindac222
    lindac222 Member Posts: 3

    thank you so much for comment. agree that you cant believe what the manufacturers tell you,they only want to sell the product and i dont believe any mattress, however expensive, is going to make you free from stiffness and pain.

    dont want to be too negative but i guess when you develop arthritis, nothing helps unfortunately.

    wish i could wave a "magic wand" and there was a cure for it. ha ha.

    linda c.

  • Saltmarsh
    Saltmarsh Member Posts: 42
    Hullo Lindac222. Mattresses are a minefield! After helping to care for one dear old soul who suffered greatly at night, I determined to ensure that my next mattress - the one to "see me out" - would be kind to poor old bones. In the event, I purchased a Hypnos, which interestingly, at that time anyway, advised level of support by body weight. It cost me an arm & a leg, but I've been extremely pleased with it. I have 2 suggestions: Though v sceptical about furniture sales staff in general, as the trade functions on commission, I would still trust John Lewis and IKEA more than most. Best of all are the Which reports, available free in hard copy & online (staff have to facilitate the latter on request) in our still-fab libraries, which should re-open before too long now. There are reports on mattresses. Good luck!
  • Crookesey
    Crookesey Bots Posts: 119

    It’s not like buying something that you can return for a refund if you state that it doesn’t work is it? I would be very reticent in parting with mega money on the back of clever advertising and the word of a seemingly very caring sales person who hasn’t got a clue of what sleeping with R/A or O/A is like.

    I’ve been driving SUV’s for ages now, that I can slide in and out of with relative ease, however can you imagine Land Rover/Range Rover advertising that their vehicles are great for folk who suffer from arthritis, not a chance, but mattresses are not that type of product, are they?

  • N1gel
    N1gel Member Posts: 138

    Funny, I've been thinking I ought to get a new mattress. The John Lewis website has a good section on the type of mattress (soft, hard etc) to look at depending on your preferred sleeping position.

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