"You don't Look sick"

debbiejayne
debbiejayne Member Posts: 3
edited 31. May 2009, 14:46 in Young people's community
like all of you I have good days and bad days with my RA. I have read some posts on here where people have been rude when seeing you use a disabled spot, "well you don't look disabled!". These are some combacks I found online to the phrase "well you don't look ill" which I get a lot - sometimes even from people I call friends!

And you look Intelligent!

And you don't look stupid!

Maybe it's Maybelline.

But I tried so hard!

Oh? You don't look like the bearer of prejudices. We all make mistakes * Cheery Smile *

Really? That's odd!

Really? (Look down at yourself) I'm cured!!!

Where did you get your medical degree from?

For when people are are being rude- I don't look ( Insert age here) either, but it doesn't change the fact I am!

Why thankyou, that's so sweet of you to say that!

I wasn't aware illnesses came mounted on a billboard!

Huh? What does sick look like?

There's a well person striving to escape this body !

How sweet of you to say that. I've been so tired, I haven't bathed in three days. And I was sort of worried about going out in public looking like this. So thanks for the compliment. It's really made my day.

And I guess your X-ray vision isn't working too well today either! You should see how corroded some of my body is on the inside. Some of my joints are in their 90's, some in their 70's. It's hard to keep track! ! !

Yeah, isn't it great. I guess I'm the healthiest looking sick person you've ever seen, huh? Isn't it weird how looks can deceive.

Yep well it's nothing to get excited about !

Well I'm NOT sick, my body is!

What do you think "Don't judge a book by it's cover" means?

Just because I look ok, doesn't mean I'm fine.

I work hard to look this good.

Are you flirting with me?

I have good and bad days, but I'll never be the way I was before I got sick.

Darn! I told Q this was the wrong host body!! I should go back to the mother ship.

This is my Alter-Ego!

Should I get a refund?

It's really good to know that the 4 hours it took me to get out of bed, and get ready this morning wasn't wasted!

Really? That's not what my psychiatrist told me.

Thanks! Funny, knowing that i dont look sick, gives me a new appreciation and patience for the people i might meet who look healthy and may not be.

Oh yeah? Check this out (show them something freaky)

Really? Ok lets trade bodies for the day!

What exactly does (insert illness) look like?

Ignorance is bliss I guess!

Would a bit of vomit help? Because I'm feeling quiet nauseous.

I guess hard work pays off!

Well of course not, I look like (insert name here) Duh!

What is this "sick" you speak of?

Thanks! I only needed one painkiller today instead of 5!

oh good..... because "not sick" is just the look I was going for!

Comments

  • annroberts
    annroberts Member Posts: 9
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Just hope I can remember some of these when I need one!
    x
  • mariannecunningham
    mariannecunningham Member Posts: 1
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi,

    You made me laugh and I thought I'd share my favourite response with you. Before I got both my hips replaced I was using my wheelchair full time - best thing I every did, as using the chair meant I could stay in my full time job. Anyway I was sick of people saying stupid things, mainly about not seeing me as disabled, etc and how brave I was and all that rubbish, etc. One day a colleague said to me, "you know..when I look at you..I can't see your wheelchair" to which I replied "oh ****, I must be levitating again" I had to explain to my bemused colleague that using a wheelchair is neither shameful nor pityful and I'd rather he "saw" it as part of who I was and remembered I did use it as that way our meeting venues might be a bit more accessible.
  • samanthaleake
    samanthaleake Member Posts: 1
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi
    people really annoy me with replies like that. my names sam and im new to this site. I get really frustrated by people who don't understand whats going on inside. I've had so many comments like that since i was signed off at christmas. I sometimes wish that they could experience the problems we have and then they might understand better what it's like and stop making comments. Does anyone else feel like that?
  • lisacleverley
    lisacleverley Member Posts: 1
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    OMG these just made me crack up. Thank you for the laugh. :)

    I think I'd love to have a megaphone mounted on my car for neck jokes when people shake their head at me when pulling into disabled bays too LOL
  • jangillies
    jangillies Member Posts: 1
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I love these - really made me giggle and that's something to remember when I get those sarcastic comments like,"yeah, you're sooo ill ha ha" and that's from a family member. maybe I'll MC YAC'ered's levitating wheelchair to land on her dumb head. oops another wheelchair wrecked by banging into a hard object lol

    I raelly liked the levitating bit lol
  • Rainbow77
    Rainbow77 Member Posts: 352
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have just had a look at this website and it is great. The spoon theory is a really good way of explaining how you feel and I love some of the labels on the t-shirts. I want one!

    Def worth a look if you have 10 minutes
    Fayann xx
  • petersalvin
    petersalvin Member Posts: 1
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I get the "you seem to be walking better" every monday at work becuase i have fri, sat, sun off work. Then during the week people say you don't have to limp when you see me. I have worked with these people for 15 years and it is starting to feel hurtfull. Although I am on light duties and have been for nearly a year. Some folk seem to think you are faking the syptoms. I wish they could swop bodies for a week.
  • clairec
    clairec Member Posts: 2
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Every other week or so, my "well meaning" manager comes out with some sentance that really annoys or depresses me... things like "Oh i didnt know you were that bad" or "Isnt there anything else they can do for you?" or making me feel bad when i want to finish work a bit earlier by going off to make me a brew just as im hoping to leave!!

    But the assumption that because I am young, i should not be parking in supermarket disabled bays really infuritates me, people really do believe the stigma of only old people get OA, the filthy looks Ive had....

    The "best" one though? it has to be the "Oh i wsh i could get a free car too!" er...no, considering the price i pay to get it.. I would happily give up my free car, to go out on the town for nights out with my friends, drink several large voddies and dance the night away, staggering in at 3am after a damn good night out, complete with dodgy kebab you would never otherwise eat unless roaring drunk! Tried drinking more than 1 vodka once, but the effect of mixing meds with alcohol did not bode well with my stomach... never done it since!
  • bigmomma
    bigmomma Member Posts: 291
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, all! Nosey old bat here - I wanted a quick look at what the younger generation talk about on the AC website. I'm glad you've found the 'spoons theory' on the 'but you don't look sick' website - us oldies find that one helpful too.

    You might like to have a nosey on the 'living with arthritis' forum too - there's a letter being passed around on there 'open letter to family and friends' that is very good for getting other folks to see what we're putting up with. I'm going to post a copy to my supervisor at Uni, so that she has an inkling of what it all means for me. She's recently had a child, so she now knows a little bit better about juggling family and uni too!

    Cyber-hugs to all.
    Annie
  • clojio
    clojio Member Posts: 4
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Argh!

    My mother's never believed me about the pain before, and I thought this might change now we know there's something wrong with me.

    Apparently not.

    Whenever I move, I click - I'm sure most of you experience this - and my mother just looked at me today and went, "You don't HAVE to grind your bones together, Chloe!"

    I can't help it! It just happens when I move!
  • trevorpotts
    trevorpotts Member Posts: 7
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    My favourite is "Would a bit of vomit help? Because I'm feeling quiet nauseous"
    I do not need the disabled bays, but I still get the "you don't look sick" comment quite a lot and "have you tried cider vinegar and honey" My answer "of course I have I'm a beekeeper" (true)
    Thanks for posting that it made me laugh while I am waiting for the painkillers to kick in before I go to bed.
    TP
  • purvesrosie
    purvesrosie Member Posts: 59
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    They r really good. Like the others i hope i can remember them when i need them usually i'm to speachless by the stupid comments to say anything
  • littlelillypusian11
    littlelillypusian11 Member Posts: 1
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    like all of you I have good days and bad days with my RA. I have read some posts on here where people have been rude when seeing you use a disabled spot, "well you don't look disabled!". These are some combacks I found online to the phrase "well you don't look ill" which I get a lot - sometimes even from people I call friends!

    And you look Intelligent!

    And you don't look stupid!

    Maybe it's Maybelline.

    But I tried so hard!

    Oh? You don't look like the bearer of prejudices. We all make mistakes * Cheery Smile *

    Really? That's odd!

    Really? (Look down at yourself) I'm cured!!!

    Where did you get your medical degree from?

    For when people are are being rude- I don't look ( Insert age here) either, but it doesn't change the fact I am!

    Why thankyou, that's so sweet of you to say that!

    I wasn't aware illnesses came mounted on a billboard!

    Huh? What does sick look like?

    There's a well person striving to escape this body !

    How sweet of you to say that. I've been so tired, I haven't bathed in three days. And I was sort of worried about going out in public looking like this. So thanks for the compliment. It's really made my day.

    And I guess your X-ray vision isn't working too well today either! You should see how corroded some of my body is on the inside. Some of my joints are in their 90's, some in their 70's. It's hard to keep track! ! !

    Yeah, isn't it great. I guess I'm the healthiest looking sick person you've ever seen, huh? Isn't it weird how looks can deceive.

    Yep well it's nothing to get excited about !

    Well I'm NOT sick, my body is!

    What do you think "Don't judge a book by it's cover" means?

    Just because I look ok, doesn't mean I'm fine.

    I work hard to look this good.

    Are you flirting with me?

    I have good and bad days, but I'll never be the way I was before I got sick.

    Darn! I told Q this was the wrong host body!! I should go back to the mother ship.

    This is my Alter-Ego!

    Should I get a refund?

    It's really good to know that the 4 hours it took me to get out of bed, and get ready this morning wasn't wasted!

    Really? That's not what my psychiatrist told me.

    Thanks! Funny, knowing that i dont look sick, gives me a new appreciation and patience for the people i might meet who look healthy and may not be.

    Oh yeah? Check this out (show them something freaky)

    Really? Ok lets trade bodies for the day!

    What exactly does (insert illness) look like?

    Ignorance is bliss I guess!

    Would a bit of vomit help? Because I'm feeling quiet nauseous.

    I guess hard work pays off!

    Well of course not, I look like (insert name here) Duh!

    What is this "sick" you speak of?

    Thanks! I only needed one painkiller today instead of 5!

    oh good..... because "not sick" is just the look I was going for!

    yes im using a disabled space.... ok ill park as far away as physically possible then i know ill def be needing to use it tomorrow if i can bear the torture of getting out of bed for a wee let alone getting out the house
  • justinbarrow
    justinbarrow Member Posts: 338
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    clairec wrote:
    But the assumption that because I am young, i should not be parking in supermarket disabled bays

    The "best" one though? it has to be the "Oh i wsh i could get a free car too!" er...no, considering the price i pay to get it.. I would happily give up my free car, to go out on the town for nights out with my friends, drink several large voddies and dance the night away, staggering in at 3am after a damn good night out!

    WELL SAID! its your right to use disabled bays because you strugle
    It annoys me that people are like this when they have nothing wrong with them (it would be great to say here have my pain for 5 mins) they would soon realise what you are going through and you get it worse when you are young.