Referred or Related Pain

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Sh8ron
Sh8ron Member Posts: 13
edited 28. Nov 2023, 14:05 in Living with arthritis

Hi, I'm Sharon and I have referred pain from OA in both hips which manifests itself down both thighs at the front. I'm trying different paknkillers (usually I can hardly walk and it's painful and frankly dangerous to do so as I am anxious about falling over, and have done). I get angry, ratty, frustrated and annoyed. I can't get about as I used to, don't enjoy much these days, I'm not carefree and independent as I was.

I know this sounds like moaning but frankly, do you blame me?

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  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,490
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    Hi @Sh8ron

    Sounds like you are struggling a lot at the moment. I hope you are thinking about or already have some walking aids if you have had falls?😮

    As you said very dangerous.

    Are you being considered for help with your OA?

    Life isn't the same as it was for me, but in a lot of respects I am still my happy self as far as possible and in others it's maybe better....oddly..... I have better empathy and take pleasure in smaller things. I have found this community which never fails to make me smile.

    I can see you have a puss cat 🙀 I have one too quite a lot of us on here do. If you haven't already found it you can post apic of yours on 'Pet's Corner'

    Take care

  • Lilymary
    Lilymary Member Posts: 1,742
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    Hi @Sh8ron , I can relate too. I have OA in my hips, right hip mostly behaves itself but the left one is about as much fun as a vile tempered teenager. It does its own thing regardless and is impossible to live with.

    I get referred pain down the side of my thigh, behind my knee cap and on the front of my shins (that one really hurts). Sometimes when I'm sitting perfectly still. I've gone from being an active fell walker to managing about half an hour struggling slowly round the shops with a stick or lurching around the house like a drunken duck. I get fed up with losing my balance in the garden and crashing into the undergrowth, ripping off the shoots and branches that I'm trying to nurture, and end up going back in before I do more harm than good.

    The frustration is almost unbearable, but I try to live for the things I can still do and not dwell to much on what I can't - it doesn't do any good, it doesn't change anything, it just makes me miserable. Keeping myself busy and engaged, even if it's just with something good on the telly, a good book, a bit of tapestry, or bothering the cat, all help take my mind off the pain and have a bit of fun. I'm lucky that I can just about still work (a very mixed blessing that is too...) which gives me a reason to go out of the house a few times a week, and the garden also gives me my outdoor fix. I'm still driving so I can go out to a quiet spot to contemplate nature from near the car, but I confess there has been the odd meltdown... 😥

    I kind of detach myself a bit and view nursing my wrecked body along as my new job. Life has gone in a different direction, for now at least (I hope), and all I can do is go with it. On top of loads of pills, I find warmed wheat bags and rest help my hip if it's really shouting, (although I often shout back at it!), I prop various bits of myself up in bed so my body is resting in a position that doesn't over-stretch any joints, and I allow myself to rest, as pushing things on a bad day only makes it worse. If I get a sudden blast of pain from nowhere, I've learnt to relax, acknowledge it's there but ignore it and let it pass. Surprisingly that does seem to help; tensing up I'm sure will just aggravate it. A bit of mindfulness or meditation can also really help.

    Moaning on here is a great way to vent, we all know how rubbish this family of conditions can be. You're quite right to moan. Arthritis is just pants.

  • Sh8ron
    Sh8ron Member Posts: 13
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    Thanks to Toni and LilyMary for your replies. No I wasn't aware of Pets Corner. I shall seek it out as we've only had Boris for 3 months or so. He is great company. I've only just retired, slightly early due to ill health. I was struggling every day and was beginning to resent my (once loved) career. I also live with a Colostomy and use a stoma bag, plus a considerable size hernia caused by this and that literally weighs on my left thigh. Such fun. I will try the wheat bags as they may help loosen my thighs up for walking about.

    I find myself between fighting my situation and/or giving into it and that plays with my mind. I am thinking perhaps it can take years to come to terms with being like this for the rest of my life. On the other hand my colostomy was as a result of an emergency and I woke up with it after living in pain and non-diagnosis for several months. I remember accepting it straightaway, and although it gives me gip I don't feel the resentment I do for the OA.

    Meantime I will try and enjoy every day, not feel so guilty feeling I'm not pulling my weight and holding people back? I love to read, I enjoy penpalling, and I like to be at home. I'm also glad I can still drive, but I won't have to risk my bones in the ice and snow this winter!

    Cheers everyone, Sharon 😁

  • Lilymary
    Lilymary Member Posts: 1,742
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    Hi again @Sh8ron, I'm sorry to hear how much you're having to deal with. My sister used to be a stoma care nurse, and my father also ended up with a colostomy. They can help you get on with life, but it's better not to need one at all.

    I hear it that you're finding the mental struggles difficult. Have you tried counselling or CBT? You may find it helpful in re-framing your mind set so that the changes you are having to make aren't weighing so heavily on you. xx

  • Sh8ron
    Sh8ron Member Posts: 13
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    Thanks Lily Mary for your kind words. I've tried CBT for issues before and I just didn't find it helped. I had counselling before, perhaps I should look into it again. So much going on, and a lot for the mind to deal with (including the possibility one could die of Covid at any time). Sharon.

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,490
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    I think @Sh8ron

    this does take a good while to adjust to and accept because Arthritis is on the whole a sneaky one. You can ignore it for a while, but it mostly worsens over time. This isn't what you planned for your life is it? so you have to grieve for that 'loss' first. Here is a good place to do this because we all understand so well.

    Your stoma as you said an emergency so that's it you sucked it up. You will do the same with this I am certain intime, but for now do what you are doing count those blessings (Pusskin and being at home etc) and be kind and forgiving to yourself. ((()))