Desperate for help, in agony 24/7 and ignored by GP


Hi I don’t know where this should belong so apologies if I have posted in the wrong place.

My mum was told she has arthritis a few years ago and it is just getting worse and worse. She has no idea what type as her gp shrugged his shoulders and she was told “its just wear and tear”

It is affecting her neck, shoulder, her left arm and is now affecting her right arm she cannot even turn a light switch on and has difficulty putting her coat on amongst many other things. She is in agony 24/7 and gets frequent headaches. She is not one to make a fuss but I know she is desperate for help and is constantly turned away I feel so helpless. It is heartbreaking to know she is at home and in pain 24/7 and nobody cares. She had an injection in her shoulder in November 2020 but it has worn off.

On top of this she was diagnosed with cancer in 2019 and went through chemo and radiotherapy until April last year - when she had chemo the steroids were the only time the pain went away.

I could go on and on but basically what can we do?! The GP does not do anything to progess.

I am crying out for help please will someone listen!!!


  • airwave
    airwave Member Posts: 579

    Doctors are very reluctant to give a diagnosis of arthritis and few will even discuss why, it was mentioned that to do so hung a rather heavy burden on us and we couldn’t deal with it, and it is referred to as ‘wear and tear’ these days. This is of course a load of rubbish, no one will explain why I had aches and pains since I was little, I’m 65 now and was first diagnosed at 25 and only recently added the ‘widespread’ bit, not that it makes a difference I just get on with living.

    I do understand your mums doctor and for that mine, who says the same thing because they haven’t got anything else in their treatment armoury except painkillers which are only a very short term treatment. As our bodies become used to the drugs they have less effect, even the strongest ones.

    So what to do? The same as we tell all the rest, read and search this site, talk to helpline, ask the gp for a referral to the pain clinic. Exercise to stabilise the muscles, ligaments and tendons, don’t overdo anything. Use hot wheat bags. I use a massage gun as well to get rid of knotted muscles which pull my spine lopsided and cause pain. Find something to take her mind off her pain. I have hobbies I get lost in for months at a time, I can’t wait to run out to my shed.

    Must go and get ready for gd in the morning.

    its a grin, honest!

  • Jona
    Jona Member Posts: 406

    Hi katie1,

    I agree with airwave and I’m sorry your feeling so desperate and frustrated but I’m glad your mum has you on her side, unfortunately once they diagnose osteoarthritis then it’s like airwave said, you could ask her gp if they can do some blood tests maybe an X-ray on her neck if its been a while since diagnosis but definitely a referral to the pain clinic,

    I know it must be upsetting for you both but you can always ask for a second opinion from another gp maybe one that has an interest it orthopaedics try to stay strong easier said than done I know and I’m glad you’ve now come here for advice they have a huge wealth of knowledge here and are really lovely

    take care

    Jona 😊

  • Mike1
    Mike1 Member Posts: 1,992

    You need to ask for a referral to a Pain Clinic, they have more understanding of arthritis and a wider range of meds and treatments to prescribe.

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,487

    Good thinking to ask for a referral to the pain clinic @Jona They are the experts in one thing only and that is pain. GPs have to know about everything.

    Times are tough extra tough at the moment @Katie1 with us all so isolated and not able to see the Dr with someone with us. It would help a lot if we could because two people telling a Dr how bad things are makes us a little stronger.

    The steroids would have helped your Mum short-term, but long term they are really not good for us sadly. The miracle cure is a double edged sword.

    Just for day to day comfort your Mum might benefit from a poncho instead of a coat for getting out and I swear by my wheaties (wheat-bags you microwave) to sooth sore joints. I have 7 of them!

    Sending some (((()))) to both of you and thank you for posting on here for your Mum.