Overwhelmed

Wthclaire

Hi I’m new

I’ve recently been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and I’m struggling with the idea of it

I’m 26, In the past week since I was diagnosed I feel like I’ve just be floored by the news, I’m scared of what the future might be for me and I just don’t know what to do, on top of that I suffer with chronic clinical depression & anxiety and it’s just sending me all over the place

any advise or help in anyway would be great

[Deleted User]

Hello @Wthclaire, welcome to the online community! It's lovely to have you here.

I see you are recently diagnosed with RA, which is overwhelming especially when also dealing with anxiety and depression. It's understandably hard to come to terms with this sort of news and you are not alone in feeling this way.

Firstly, here's a link with an overview of RA including disease management. I'd also like to let you know about the Arthritis symptom tracker app, which is currently marketed at 13-25 y/o's but is useful for people of any age as it takes the stress out of having to report how you've been doing to your doctor. Finally, some people find that breathing exercises and other mindfulness techniques can help to ground them when they are feeling overwhelmed - here's a nice page on that if you're interested: Meditation and mindfulness and how it might help you (versusarthritis.org). Hope you find these resources useful!

It would be lovely to see some discussion and advice from other members too, and of course feel free to join in with any other discussion you like. It's good to talk :)

Best wishes, Sarah (moderator) x

HipopGina

Can’t help with RA. I have past experience of the depression (at a similar age) and with the assistance of experts I climbed out of that dark hole, so I know it can be done. By knowing about it you are on the way up and out of the darkest place, but I know what a struggle it can be. All my very best wishes go with you on that journey.

SarahJS

Hi @Wthclaire

I'm 33 and was diagnosed JIA aged 6 and then confirmed OA and RA somewhere between then and now. Although I've just kind of dealt with whatever, I found the RA side of things completely overwhelming, especially as finding the right sort of treatment can be a long process.

It's completely normal and understandable to feel this way, but you will get through this. I struggle still sometimes, in fact, people that are closest to me have only just found out! The best thing I ever did was just talk.

We are all always here for you

🖤

frogmorton

Hi @Wthclaire

It is tough getting this sort of diagnosis. There is a huge fear about what the future might bring now over the future we had expected to have. You almost need to grieve for the future you planned.

Personally I was a wreck for a while. I wallowed a lot and didn't make plans to do anything - in case I wasn't up to it - I felt a liability to everyone around me and could think of not much else. I thought I would drag them all down with me.

After a while though I started on treatment and, (and partly due to this forum), things did begin to improve. I realised life was actually ok and not as 'bad' as I had feared. Life has turned out well. I am happy as are my children (now young adults) and husband. I am still pretty well on my feet and we even bought a motorhome and plan to see some of our country!

Take care now

Wthclaire

https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/comment/679007#Comment_679007

Thank you everyone for your insight

I’ve suffered with my mental health since I was 16 and just now 10 years later I felt like I was finally on the right meds and on the right direction but this has literally put me back to square one mentally in that idea of what what’s is my future going to be am I going to be fit enough to move further up my job, luckily I’ve got a manager who has put that thought at ease..the thing I’m really struggling with is my mum had rheumatoid arthritis and I know there is some evidence it can be passed on and she also passed away 16 years ago at 43 with bone cancer that spread to the rest of her body...I’m just scared that that will be my future but at the same time I know it’s just my anxiety that’s is heightening this. I’m hoping that by being on this group and getting the right treatment I can finally see hope for the future and I’m praying it happens soon x

ah_1

Hi claire, totally understandable i was diagnosed at age 22 with ra and it really affected me, however hopefully with the right treatment you will be fine i think been positive about it helps too and talking to the right people who will make you feel at ease that helps !! I know it helps me and people been negative really can put you down.. i know youl be fine just attend your appointments and trial meds which suit you the first one might not be right but youl get there your body will know straight away.. also start taking vitamin b and vitamin c daily :)

Wthclaire

https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/comment/679034#Comment_679034

thank you for this

i do agree that positivity does help there is days where I am positive and I feel motivated and times where I don’t I think that’s okay..I do struggle with people just telling me just get up and do it, work through the pain or you need to try build a pain tolerance but I feel these people don’t really understand how bad the pain can be and it does make me feel bad that I have this and that sometimes I can’t do it and I don’t really know what to do with that

frogmorton

Oh @Wthclaire

I am so sorry about your Mum. You lots her far too young it's no wonder that you get anxious I think most people would in your shoes. You can only do what you can to look after yourself as best you can.

It sounds as though you really have a good manager who thinks a lot of you so realistically you know you have a future.

If you haven't got arthritis it is really hard to imagine just how painful and debilitating it is so we just have to ignore people who tell us to power through. I hope they never find out. One day in our shoes eh?

Anyway you take care and keep going you are doing so well 🙂👍️

Lilymary

Hi @Wthclaire , as frogmorton (Toni) says, I'm so sorry you lost your mum so young. I can understand why that has left you emotionally fragile at times. But history doesn’t always repeat itself, that isn’t necessarily going to be your path through life.

it’s good to know you have a supportive boss, that makes such a difference. To those nitwits who tell you to “push through the pain” -this is NOT the same as a gym session! the harder you push, the worse the pain gets, and the longer it takes to recover. Likewise, “develop a higher tolerance to pain”. (That one left me speechless!)... tell them to try and find their empathy muscle! grrr!

I know it shouldn’t be our”job” to do this, but it would be worth sending them the link to the “overview of RA” Sarah has suggested. Perhaps if they understood, they wouldn’t make such insensitive comments, and may become more supportive to you. It is very hard for fit people, particularly at younger ages, to understand how it feels to be in constant pain, and all the other effects of arthritis, like exhaustion and depression and having to miss out on so many activities. My husband is super fit and can be utterly lacking in empathy sometimes, but after a few bad scrapes himself recently, and then seeing what I’ve been going through, it has changed his attitude a lot and he’s much more sympathetic and supportive than he used to be. But without those experiences and understanding, he would still have been dismissive of anyone who isn’t as fit as him. To his credit, when the chips are down he is brilliant at stepping up and supporting me, but it’s been a learning experience for both of us.

I hope you can find support while you adjust to your diagnosis, and the right medical support. There are many life long sufferers on this site, who have had happy fulfilling lives. And we all know how rubbish arthritis can make you feel, so keep coming on here if you want a moan, support, advice, a chat or a giggle. We’re a very friendly bunch. X