A bad day.

Bui62 Member Posts: 3
edited 28. Nov 2023, 14:06 in Living with arthritis

I've always been a glass half full person but my OA is sorely testing me atm. I was diagnosed age 50 (13years ago) with OA in my fingers then my knees. I've had bilateral arthroscopies twice, a new knee and new hip and I now have a date for the other hip replacement in June, which should have been done in March last year if it wasn't for covid. I'd ask for new hands and wrists too if I could! Now my shoulder has decided to join the party and it feels like my body's being taken over. Two years ago I lost 3stone, was going to the gym 3 times a week and walked every day. But along came Covid, I was terrified of going out because my husband was shielding so I stopped exercising and boredom led to eating. Pain increased, weight went back on, pain increased etc. If only I could take a pill for will power! I know I feel better when I'm eating healthily and exercising so why can't I do it?!!! Sorry, I don't like coming on this forum to moan, everyone here is hurting, everyone has had a gutty year but I have to let it out somehow. This is the third time I've come to post here and the last two I ended up deleting and walking away because I don't want to drag others down. So, now I will tell myself to look on the bright side, (soon I get my new hip, yay!!), tomorrow's another day, there's others worse off than me, etc etc. And I shall just put today down as a bad day.


  • Anna
    Anna Moderator Posts: 968

    Hello @Bui62 and welcome to the online forum,

    First of all, well done for having the courage to write a post on the forum! It’s not easy to admit that sometimes we are feeling low, but it really does help to let out our frustrations sometimes. You’ll find our members friendly and supportive, and since we all live with Arthritis in some way, we do understand a little of what you’re going through. I think we can all agree that the arthritis journeys has its ups and downs and sometimes we can walk gently through and other times it’s not so easy.

    As you say, this year has been hard for many people and if you’re in pain and your operation has been postponed as yours has, life can seem even more challenging. You did well to control your weight and take up an exercise programme two years ago, and you can do it again. Small steps are all it takes. Have a look at the Versus Arthritis Let’s Move programme below - it’s a gentle introduction to exercise and many of our members have found it very helpful:

    Take a look round the forum and join in wherever you feel comfortable- the links on the right will take you to the different topics that are being discussed.

    Best wishes, and nice to have you on board!

    Anna ( Mod)

    Need more help? - call our Helpline on 0800 5200 520 Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm

  • Lilymary
    Lilymary Member Posts: 1,740
    edited 27. Apr 2021, 19:44

    Hi @Bui62 , this is precisely the place to come when you need to offload. Please don’t let that put you off in future. It sounds like you have had a really tough time. I was diagnosed with a wrecked hip in March 2020, with no hope of a date for replacement, and I went downhill really fast both physically, emotionally and in terms of weight gain. I need to shift 2 stone now (this is the most I've ever weighed), and I know it’s going to be hard going. And who wants to deal with anything “hard going” with all the other stuff that’s going on?

    I had my hip replacement 10 days ago, I know you know how that feels. It’s really daunting knowing how much ground I need to make up now to get back to where I was, and to loose all that weight, get my head back in order, and even work out which bits of my life I want to pick up again and which to let go. You’re not alone, this is an awful lot to deal with. And on top of your own problems, you’ve been shielding your husband, trying to keep him safe too. No wonder you feel emotionally exhausted.

    I’d say start small. Choose one or two aspects of your life to start resuming slowly. Forget all this trendy “set yourself long terms goals” nonsense for now, all that tosh is for millennials, cut yourself some slack and just set yourself small targets, live a day at a time, or even an hour at a time. Keep notes of even small successes each day, accept that there will be days when you haven’t achieved much at all. That’s fine - it’s not a race. Acknowledge that some days you simply won’t feel up to it. You will need “down time” sometimes, times when you just need to relax, smell the roses, and nurture yourself s bit.

    As for diet? Hell, I’m no example to follow! But in the first lockdown I did manage to lose a stone by cutting out unnecessary calories (junk food, refined sugars and alcohol) and by portion control. Then the lockdown ended, work started again and I discovered I eat most when I‘m stressed at work. “Hello two stone!”. I’m failing in every respect to lose weight, but I’m hoping once my new hip is bedded in and I can be active again, I might feel motivated to have another try,

    I hope these ramblings help a bit, but mostly - it’s ok to feel rubbish, remember to be kind to yourself, and just start slow, don’t punish yourself, and take it a day at a time. LM x

    Ps, Anna’s suggestion of Let’s Move is a good one. It’s a fun, private and gentle way to start, and may help you build up motivation to sneak into the gym again eventually. There’s also a really good section on Pain Management on this site that you might find helpful. I know you're a veteran of pain, but there may be some helpful tips in there.

  • Jona
    Jona Member Posts: 406

    Hi Bui62:

    Lilymary is right we all have to have a good old moan it’s been pretty stressful for everyone we are what we are and shouldn’t have to apologise for it I don’t anymore I’ve started to use my sticks when out and the other day someone was huffing behind me as I wasn’t moving fast enough so I asked him if he had asthma as he needs to get it checked

    I’ll let you into a secret I’ve dieted for the past 4 years and I’m vegan but I never lose a flipping ounce sooo annoying yet if I look at a creamcake I put an ounce on seriously messed up genetics 😂

    Seriously you need to offload this site full of amazing people will listen

    take care

    love Jona 😊💪

  • Lilymary
    Lilymary Member Posts: 1,740

    @Jona I bet that stopped him huffing! i’ll Remember that one 😂

  • Bui62
    Bui62 Member Posts: 3

    Thank you all so for your understanding and encouragement! Suddenly I don't feel so alone. No matter how wonderful friends and family are, they can't understand what we deal with on a daily basis and therefore I tend to just smile and say everything's ok!

    Good luck with your new hip Lilymary - treat it kindly but do your exercises cos they really do help. I remember the joy of being able to put a sock on comfortably for the first time after I had my right one done! Now that's something that doesn't make for general conservation 😄!

  • Jewels
    Jewels Member Posts: 202

    Haha that's what I miss being able to do I either struggle or ask for help luckily I haven't got smelly feet 🤣

  • Lilymary
    Lilymary Member Posts: 1,740

    @Bui62 , sometimes I don't think it does any harm to remind your nearest and dearest that you’re on constant pain. Friends and colleagues also. Ie “I’m ok, if “ok” means in constant pain (... describe where...) that wears me out, but just a normal day for me”

    I’m often tempted to ask them to put two £1 coins in one of their shoes for the day and report back, just so they have an idea of what constant pain feels like and how you end up adapting your activities around it.

    it’s only when people understand how you feel that they might start offering to help, and you might feel more able to ask for help too. It’s really not unreasonable.

  • Jona
    Jona Member Posts: 406

    When you talk to a medical professional and say it’s affecting my mental health I just wish they wouldn’t jump straight into giving anti depressants almost immediate I know they don’t have a lot of time but I sometimes understanding goes a long way 😊