I feel like Ian walking on two timebomds

Jadelady73

Hi everyone at the moment it feels Ian walking on two timebombs let me explain I cant trust my knees not to giveway I have OA in both my kneesI know its silly but I feel I cant get on with my life they havent let me down yet but I cant get over being fightend and its makeing me misabule I wish I never lost waght my family dont understand I tried to end my life in feburry this year something I never thought I'd do I pretend to be happy in front of people but when iam on my own I live alone it gets to me iam haveing phiso and use a walker but I just feel so frightened Isorry to go on but any advice thanks

Jona

Hi a jade lady,

im so sorry you’re having such a horrid time, I know what you mean about your knees I have it both of mine but to get to the stage when you feel like you do you need to talk to someone a professional ask your gp if he or she can refer you to counselling or contact your local supporting minds

don’t be sorry about losing the weight just think of all the clothes I did I went mad but now I live in sweatshirts I know slobby but I don’t care they’re comfy please don’t feel alone there’s lovely people here and we are all in that big ship sailing around I just wish I was Cher she seems like she sings to turn back time haha

take care

love Jona 😊💪

crinkly

I'm so sorry to hear how anxious and unhappy you are. Living alone with OA must be very scary and it's hard for family and friends to imagine what your pain and feelings of despair are like.

This website has a telephone helpline available during office hours and it could well be really good to share your fears and feelings with them. I think the number is 0808 800 4050 but it will be on the VA homepage and you will be answered by someone with personal experience of OA and all that accompanies it.

I don't know what on-going support you have from your GP and I realise that there are very long waiting lists for hospital services but you should be able to ask for referral to a Physiotherapist who can advise on how to minimise the risk of your knees giving way. (Maybe I have just been lucky but in many years with OA knees neither of mine has actually given way under me although I'm now not able to walk far outside of the house.)

It takes time to adapt and to learn your own best ways of living with any arthritic condition and many members of these forums will have felt as bad as you do at times. Don't hesitate to share your physical and emotional pain here as others will recognise your situation and encourage you to keep going through this very hard time. There will surely be better times ahead! 🌼

Lilymary

@Jadelady73 you don’t have to go through this on your own. I’m sorry to hear this has been such a struggle for you and that it has so badly affected your mental health. That must have been an awful experience for you.

Do reach out and call someone, the helpline on this site as suggested by @crinkly, or The Samaritans, they’re there when it all gets too much. But do also speak with your GP, see if they can get a physio assessment lined up for you, and an occupational therapist to see if they can find ways to help you manage on a day to day basis. Some counselling may also help you adapt to what’s happening with your mobility and pain levels and give you a little more confidence about living with your condition. It sounds like you’ve been struggling with this on your own for too long, and it’s time for you to ask for help, and there’s absolutely no shame in that. The help is out there, but until we make ourselves known to them, they don’t know who needs what level of support, x