Feeling Down and Tearful

I read a lot on here about staying positive and all the things I could do to help myself but I'm just not feeling that positive at the moment, in fact I'm feeling really down and tearful and really fed up. I thought I'd try a warm bath to help my painful knees but after spending 10 minutes standing in the bath I just couldn't bend my knees enough to even sit down and at the moment I seem to have more bad days than good. As a larger lady I'm loosing weight to help my arthritis but its not having much of an impact at the moment. I have pain killers, which sort of work but are making me constipated, I have ibuprofen gell that just doesn't work, I have physio exercises which are too painful to do, the pain is keeping me awake at night, if I walk around its painful and if I sit its painful and uncomfortable, I'm in a quite physical job and feel guilty that my colleagues are carrying me 😥😥. I know there are people out there in a much worse condition than me but I feel so down 😥😥


  • I’m sorry to hear you are feeling so down, I know how that feels as I’m in a similar place myself. Have you tried cortisone injections for your pain, they can be a bit hit & miss, but when they work, the relief is worth the effort. I take turmeric & black pepper capsules & glucosamine every day & find gentle knee massage with a pain relieving balm twice a day is beneficial. I make my own balms these days but if you can find it, madhivala balm is good stuff. Have you got a pillow behind your knees at night? If I forget mine I find I can’t bend my leg in the morning. I’ve been referred for CBT to help me cope with long term pain, not sure how that will work but will report back here if it’s any use. I’m rather envious that you thought you could get in a bath! I’ve not tried that for over 10 years since I found I could no longer get out unaided, given that I live alone, that’s not an option :0) x

  • Shell_H
    Shell_H Member Posts: 548

    Hi AimiKay - I totally get you. It's not easy at all, and I certainly understand that it's not simple to be good to yourself. I often feel down and tearful myself. On the practical front - maybe a hot water bottle on your knees would help when you can't have a bath. And the ibuprofin gel is weird. I tried many types which did nothing, but then I tried Deep Heat, and while I don't find it hot at all (it does tingle oddly) it does help with my pain. So maybe try some different brands and you'll get lucky like I did.

    Loosing weight is so hard. I too am on the larger side and am mostly failing at loosing it. Just do your best and forgive yourself where you can. And while you may feel guilty at work it's still better for your collegues than if you weren't there at all - they wouldn't have any help then.

    Try looking for some more gentle yet still targetted exercises - they may help you while not making your pain worse, and you could work up to the ones you've been given. And constipation may be helped by drinking more water (it may not, but it's often the best first step). Being kept awake at night by your pain is serious, as lack of sleep can cause more stress and indeed more pain. So I'd try to focus if at all possible on working out if you can do anything to help with what hurts to keep you up. If it's your knees, have you tried wearing supports to take some strain off them, or maybe reducing your hours at work or making adjustments there to reduce the strain on that area? You've said you're in a physical job, but your employer does have to help you make reasonable adjustments to help you for chronic conditions, which arthritis is. Or maybe take a couple of weeks holiday and be extremely lazy, taking all possible strain off the painful joints, and see if that helps you with the pain and sleep - this will let you know if it is the work which is making it worse for you, which will give you ionformation you need. You could also apply to PIP for some financial help.

    It ultimately doesn't matter if there are people out there who have it worse. That in no way changes how you feel, and you'll just make yourself feel worse by telling yourself. It's not a compition to see who has it worse, it's about looking after everyone, including yourself. You are just as worthy of feeling better as anyone else.

  • AimiKay
    AimiKay Member Posts: 5

    Thanks for all your advice, its all very much gratefully received. My work is supportive up to a point but those higher up are adding pressure in the way sickness is dealt with. If we have consecutive times off with the same illness or condition we can get a warning and there is the added pressure of something called 'capability', which brings into question your ability to do the job, and this places added pressure on me. You mentioned about reducing my hours at work and that is something that I've thought about and whether I would be entitled to any benefits to subsidise what I loose by reducing my hours. I will try some different creams for my knees.

    Its early days as I've only recently been diagnosed with osteoarthritis and I never actually realised just how debilitating it can be on bad days but I'll make the most of the good days and gradually work out the sort of exercises that are best for me.

    Thanks again for your advice x

  • Jona
    Jona Member Posts: 406

    Hi Aimikay,

    Im sorry your having such a horrible time, as for work you could ask if they could refer you to occupational health for assessment also if you have to reduce your hours you can claim working tax credits best to speak to the citizens advice or turn2us they have a forum! Pip for me has been a nightmare but you can apply just make sure you get as much information as you can from the doctor ie your medical notes a copy of them which your entitled to now

    I’m afraid with osteoarthritis there are good days and bad days I’m afraid every day is bad for me personally now it’s rare I’m having a good one but try to keep your chin up hardship as it is to do and take care

    love Jona 😊💪

  • AimiKay
    AimiKay Member Posts: 5

    Thanks for your support and advice, I'll certainly contact the citizens advice as I'm contemplating reducing my working hours anyway. Look after yourself and take care x

  • Tom
    Tom Member Posts: 522


    Here is a link to a section on our website that deals with work issues. I hope you may find this useful.

  • AimiKay
    AimiKay Member Posts: 5

    Thanks Tom I'll have a look