You can't just move
In earlier times, most of my movements were on autopilot - it got on with moving me where I needed to be and doing what I needed to do while my focus was on something else. Even before the curse of hip OA, the autopilot was failing - if I didn't focus I'd leave keys, wallets and every other possession everywhere! But now every movement, 24-7 has to be focused on - if I don't want to be in agony.
When I get out of bed in the morning, I can't just get up! Legs poke tentatively out the side, then there is a careful swivel. LEFT LEG ON THE FLOOR FIRST! Now streeettchh that right leg - feel the pull on all the leg muscles! Now put all my weight on my left leg as I stand up - and now gently, CAREFULLY, let that right foot make contact with the ground. SLOWLY apply weight to that right leg - so far so good!
Now for the walk - a delicately choreographed process in which weight is distributed JUST SO. Lurking in the subconscious, that irrational eternal hope that this is the day when the hip has woken up healed - you consciously override it, but the the lack of pain other than a groin grumble makes you complacent. There's a momentary loss of concentration...
SHOOM! OW! ****!! - a searing referred pain zaps your leg and that familiar feeling that someone has kicked you hard just under the knee. And your irrational hope evaporates. It's another day of figuring how long you can move about before it becomes unbearable. Physio first job - moan, groan grunt. Hopefully with your walking stick you can last long enough to get to the bust stop, work half a shift and get home again, and the blessed relief of seating, the one oasis of pain-free experience.
If by some miracle I was cured, I now have all the skills to make an excellent Ninja.
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