Physio 4 weeks in: Faith, Hope, Hate and Skepticism

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I'm one of those people who takes a perverse pleasure in hating things - brussel sprouts, soap operas, blatant obvious untruths like "we take safety very seriously", that kind of thing. Not keen on any exercise at all apart from walking, which I now can't do, Physio instantly became added to the list the moment I was prescribed it. It is one of four feelings it simultaneously evokes in me. I really do passionately hate it.

The second feeling is skepticism - the words "as good as surgery" are still ringing in my ears. Yeah right. I don't think I've ever so firmly disbelieved anything in my life. It defies my scientific perception. If the cartilage in your hip joint is gradually disintegrating, I absolutely refuse to believe that having a supple hip capsule (a body part I'd previously never heard of that is now ever in my mind) can possibly compensate for it. It has not provided an ounce of pain relief or improved one jot my ability to walk.

But clearly these can't be my only feelings or I wouldn't after four weeks still be doing it daily. There must be faith going on. Faith can be defined as working on an assumption regardless of corroborating evidence. This is separate from DELUSION, which is working on an assumption despite strong evidence to the contrary. I am working on the assumption it's doing me good, until I see clear evidence otherwise. One thing I can't deny is that I can now get my sock on (which I previously couldn't). Also, it's getting easier to do - in fact today I snapped my ankle band - I had to use the thigh band instead.

The fourth feeling is hope - though my hope is limited - I HOPE that it's slowing down the disintegration of my cartilage long enough for me to keep hobbling, until I get a new hip, because that's the only real fix. I hope then to walk again. Watch this space.