Angry, in pain and depressed 😔

RadarsBear

Hi, I hope that you don't mind if I vent? I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired! I am in constant pain and drugged up to the eyeballs with meds that don't work. I can sleep because of snoring hubby and insomnia, restless leg, pain and limbs jerking. My adult son can't cope with my diagnosis and so can't talk to me about it. My Mum tries her best but keeps suggesting I put on a bit of lippy to make me feel better. Hubby doesn't know what to do so I shout at him to just do something then when the poor man does I shout at him that it's wrong. I'm basically a bitch and I hate it and I hate what my life has become. I stay in bed most days as I can't make it downstairs. I'm sorry to be the voice of gloom. My Dr and consultant don't seem to understand and I just find myself getting more depressed, angry and not being compliant with my meds. I need serious help but don't know who to ask? Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

duffer

Hello - I quite understand how you feel as I do too. My knee and hip osteo have been going on for 3 years and I got refused surgery at that time because of high blood pressure. Since lockdown I'm also suffering with panic attacks and more recently with vertigo as well. I am so fed up with my body and the medications I have to take which leave me listless and unable to enjoy any of my normal hobbies. I live on my own and the cost of carers to come in is becoming impossible to keep going. They are all wonderful people - as one of the gps (on the phone) listens and prescribes - but presumably doesn't have these problems.

I am disappointed with myself but hold on to the belief that it won't last forever - I think about people with more serious problems than mine - but when I'm on my own the mind gets out of hand and I want to SCREAM! I do have a daughter who is a nurse and she has given up on me - I just need love and understanding and the belief that it will be ok if I'm patient. Don't give up RadarsBear - you have people around you who care but they too may be upset by how you are and not knowing what to do - I set myself challenges every so often - sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't, but each step is an achievement RadarsBear. There are so many people who feel like we do and the most wonderful thing is to talk about it - as 'it's ok not to be ok' your first big step has been to get it off your chest. You are not alone RadarsBear! Keep going and chat at any time - you have done well today! Duffer.

wazz42

Hi @RadarsBear and @duffer

You have been so brave in sharing these stories. I have not been as 'lost' as you are but it came close, thank goodness we have this community. Do keep posting and letting us help you however we can

xx

duffer

hello Wazz42 - so good to have a response - thank you. Arthritis can and will be conquered! Yeah! Duffer.

wazz42

It takes time - and tiny steps, maybe a nice relaxing bath? Or watching a favourite film or reading a book?

I admit I'm a list person but there are times I limit my list to 3 things - tiny things - which I know I can do. What can I say, I love ticks!

Sending you strength today

xx

airwave

Life has its downs as well, as you’re finding out. You sound like an ideal candidate for a Pain Clinic, ask your GP for a referral, I’m not aware what the state of play is for these appointments, mine was 3-4 years ago, but ask.

Self help is the name of the game, you’ll come to realise that the health service cannot give you the help you crave for, so follow along with the suggestion and see where it goes.

Good luck.

it’s a grin, honest!

Arthuritis

@duffer @RadarsBear Winston Churchill’s words come to mind “When going through hell, don’t stop (to examine where you are or dwell), keep going.

You might need to try different combinations of self therapies to see what might give you some relief. @RadarsBear You need to tell those that care about you what you posted here, they need to know as they will then at least have the opportunity to understand and be accommodating rather than feel crushed.

Here are somethings I do to reduce acute pain:

* Wash the affected joint/area in the shower with freezing cold water using the detached shower head. This takes some getting used to to build up from just your ankles to knee to arms & shoulders. Your body adjusts after a few days of the same and it gives me a couple of hours relief

*night time frozen gel wraps in cotton bandages round joints. The gel is -22C, but as its wrapped in cotton I don’t get frostbite. This cold combo gives me a painfree night

* Changed my diet to strict vegan& low carb. Adding certain things makes you sated quickly so losing weight is a bonus. Nutrition consists of veggie smoothies eg cucumber kale lettuce red cabbage & a tiny bit of fruit or ginger to taste. Topped with 2-3table spoons of -ground- linseed. This is high in an omega 3 precursor which you need. I might have steamed mushrooms & veg with turmeric flavour.

Absolutely no inflammatory food ie no meat eggs milk products or fish or gluten ie drop common inflammatory triggers. This process took 2 weeks to take effect.

Still on meds, 17.5mg MTX.

If you feel like ranting then you can write to your MP about the plight of RA sufferers, and there needing to be grants & tax incentives for curative research rather than perpetual costly drug taking and expert advice sought from independent sources, not from the industry that sells the drugs! Past mistakes arevLike govt advice recommending diesel as “green eco friendly” because VW & the oil industry told them it was!

Read or listen to Prof Tim Spector’s book on nutrition, (“Spoonfed”) one of the few doctors in the growing movement to finding & treating the causes of disease rather than suppressing symptoms. Surprisingly doctors get virtually no training on the impact of nutrition, ie 15 hours in 6 years! Some of Prof Spector’s lectures at Kings College, Univ of London are on youtube.

You might get lucky and get a big break, and it can’t do any harm.

You do need to comply with your meds though, however angry you feel, they preserve your joints despite the side effects. What dose are you on?

Lilymary

I’m married to a snorer so feel your anguish about this. Being constantly sleep deprived won’t be helping. We now accept that one of us retreating to the spare room when the decibels ramp up (or if you can’t get comfortable due to pain) is a simple and practical solution and we both get a better nights sleep. I heartily recommend it, and our marriage is better as we’re not at each other’s throats during the day due to resentment or sleep deprivation

duffer

You are all amazing people and reading your posts makes it good to know I'm not alone. Thank you so much! Duffer.