Bit scared & lonely

Jeanne

I am 72 and am booked to have a THR on 1st Feb. I am a little bit scared of the op but more worried about coming home. I live alone & have supportive family & friends but nobody will be with me at night, and that’s what I’m really worried about. Anybody else been through this alone & can give me any advice. I’m very independent & have lived alone for 10 years but this is now really worrying me 😪

PeterJ

Hello @Jeanne and welcome to the community. We are a friendly and supportive group and I hope that that will be your experience as well.

I understand that you are booked in to have a hip replacement on 1st Feb and are a little bit scared and worried about coming home - is there anyone in your family and friends who could stay with you the first couple of days? The hospital should assess your discharge needs before sending you home so please raise it with them as to what help you can get to get you over the first few days. Also see the following from our website which contains some tips about recovery.

https://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/treatments/surgery/hip-replacement-surgery/

Also there are quite a few local support groups and there may be one near you

https://www.versusarthritis.org/in-your-area/

Have a look before you go in and if there is one near you I would suggest making contact with them.

I hope it all goes well for you, please post and let us know how you get on, and I hope others will connect with you to share their experience, tips and support as well

With very best wishes

Peter (moderator)

duffer

Hello Jeanne - I totally understand how you feel! I've been waiting for hip surgery since 2019 and I'm no further forward - no op until my blood pressure shows 5 consecutive days as normal. Well it never will be all the time I have vertigo and panic attacks! I'm paying private to have my vertigo look at on Monday and am worse than scared of that now as well. As you say, coming out of hospital is the scary thing - I understand to have a carer in you have to supply a private bedroom with room for clothes etc. supply their food and the last cost I was given was £150 a night. I can't afford that without help from somewhere. I just have one member of my family who has two young children, doesn't drive and works two days a week. I feel so down and lost and in a great deal of pain - life shouldn't be like this at 78! If either of us had a fall the hips would be sorted one way or another - not that I would wish that to happen but because it's 'elective' it goes down the pile.......ok so I've had a good moan - but please know that you are not alone and the people on Versus Arthritis are doing all they can to help and advise! Thank goodness for someone to turn to sometimes. I wish you every good luck Jeanne and some love. Duffer.

stickywicket

I think night time is always when we worry about things that seem OK during the day. Both I and my husband have had two THRs. It's certainly not easy getting up in the night for the loo but it has to be done and don't let that stop you drinking.

Once, when I was coming out of hospital for a different hip problem, I was offered a commode. I didn't use it but it a comfort😀 to know it was there.

Whenever I'm alone, as I have several other problems, my family insist I carry a phone at all times. It's annoying but sensible.

Please let the physios and occupational therapists know of your fears. They're very good and will ensure things are OK albeit tricky for a while.

duffer

Thanks stickywicket - kind words I will not deny I'm scared! Don't let night time loo visits stop me drinking ? drinking what sadly - water doesn't lift my spirits and anything else is banned! ugh! Duffer.

Jeanne

Thank you for your supportive comments, I do have family but they have jobs & young children so not able to stay overnight.

I have just had several aids delivered this morning, toilet frames, walkers etc. My lounge looks like an old peoples home!

im sure I’ll be ok, just want to get it done now so I can get on with the rest of my life.

good luck duffer, hope your blood pressure can be controlled. I have had vertigo & it’s horrible 😢

Lilymary

Hi @Jeanne and @duffer, I understand why you're nervous about this, but you'll be surprised at how well you manage. While my husband was home, we slept in separate rooms for the six weeks post surgery that I was sleeping on my back, as I slept so badly I would have kept him awake all night which didn't seem fair. So when I had to get up for the loo in the night, or just going to bed/getting up, I had to be self-sufficient. If you take it slow and steady, you'll be fine. Just make sure you're properly balanced on your feet and crutches before you move away from the bed or loo seat, and try not to drop your crutches while on the loo (I propped mine up against the toilet roll holder). The raised toilet seat is grim, but a godsend! I also had a perching stool , which I found useful for strip washes until I felt stable enough to use the shower over the bath. I used bowl with a few inches of warm water for my feet, and soaked a sponge with shower gel and paddle it around my with my feet in the bowl.

My husband was out a lot during the day, including the day after I got back, but again, I was surprised how well I managed, even if I did feel a bit vulnerable. Things just take a bit more planning, but it's doable. Honestly, worrying about it in advance is far worse than actually getting on with it on the day. Good luck next week Jeanne, I'm sure they'll take very good care of you.

dean68

https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/56146/bit-scared-lonely

dean68

https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/56146/bit-scared-lonely

https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/comment/689908#Comment_689908

good luck for today jeanne 🤞🤞x

Ellen

Hear hear! VERY best of luck to @Jeanne

Ellen

frogmorton

Good luck @Jeanne hopefully all done and dusted by now fingers crossed ((()))

Jeanne

Thanks for all your lovely comments. I’m know 1 week post op. Think it’s going ok, pain not as bad as before the op but concerned my operated leg is now longer than the other making it difficult to straighten my knee. Anyone else had this? Will it settle down?

stickywicket

It's not impossible to have leg length discrepancy after a THR but it's unusual after a first one and, really, a week is far too soon to tell. I was never sure at first after either of my THRs or TKRs but they ended up fine. Just plug away with those exercises as they will help muscles to strengthen and do their job properly. And well done so far☺