Hi everyone

Vanda Member Posts: 1
edited 28. Nov 2023, 14:07 in Living with arthritis

Hi all I find myself in a bit of a miserable position. I'm a 51 year old nurse . I work full time thankfully not clinically now but still pretty busy. My knees have been deteriorating over the last 5 years or so to the point I now need surgery. The pain is worsening and my mobility decreasing. Unfortunately my BMI is too high. I've been left in limbo for two years. I'm trying to loose weight, I'm menopausal and have hypothyroidism to boot. I'm so disappointed with my care and the lack of compassion I've received. I feel assumptions have been made because of my BMI. I feel so frustrated and angry at my last appointment I was made to feel disgusted at myself. I was also told my arthritis wont kill me but I will end up in a wheelchair.


  • Ellen
    Ellen Moderator Posts: 1,679

    Hi @Vanda

    I can see you are having a really rough time with needing surgery on your knees as well as working full time as a nurse. I do not want to 'teach my Grandmother to suck eggs' but this article is worth a read:

    You also mention that you are struggling with your weight as well as the menopause. For many women it is a really difficult time many struggle with unpleasant symptoms as well as weight gain. I hope more information will come to light about the links between the menopause and Arthritis, but this might be of interest in the meantime.

    Finally I am so sorry that you had such a bad experience at your last appointment, (I am assuming Orthopaedics?), no-one should feel disgusted with themselves. You might want to consider seeking a second opinion or change of Dr. Many of us prefer to go to appointments with someone to support us too this can help us a lot with our confidence as well as (in my case) remembering everything which is said.

    Losing weight when you are less mobile can be harder work, but can be done. A good few of our members have lost weight in order to have surgery and supported each other along the road. If you wanted to look at getting more active, and I am absolutely not saying you should, we do have a whole category called 'Let's move'

    The idea isn't to run marathons, but rather to keep as mobile as we can.

    I am so glad you have joined this Community everyone is so supportive and caring.

    Very best wishes Vanda,


  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,563

    Hello @Vanda

    How very insulting that person was making you feel like that.

    Being healthy enough for surgery is not only about BMI, but other health conditions smoking status etc. I'm not denying there is more risk if you do have a higher BMI of course, but you are a nurse so they know you are an intelligent person.

    Having to lose weight for surgery happens a lot here you've only got to put weight into the search and you'll see. It can be a bit of a vicious cycle getting less mobile and eating the same.

    If you decide to diet and you feel up to it you could start a thread on here and log in every week we will support you as we have others in the past.

    You take care

  • Cimca
    Cimca Member Posts: 33

    Hi Vanda

    I can sympathise, I am in a similar position. I have not approached my GP for surgery as I know I will be turned down because of my weight. What is irritating is that my weight has shot up during the past 8 months due to ill health. Just when I think I can do something about it my knee becomes completely intolerable. I know this is something I have to do but there are no quick or easy answers.

    Good luck