When does the physical start to affect the emotional?

Hi everyone

Some of you might remember me from years ago - I was Ouch Potato back then.

I have been dealing with OA and spinal stenosis for many years, but I have remained stoic and cheerful; as a single mum I have had to, because I'm all the kids have/had.

I am 53 now, but for the past couple of years things have rapidly gone downhill. I now have cervical stenosis as well as lumbar, so extreme pain top and bottom, and my knees are now failing me and are keeping me awake at night as they're so sore. DDD, facet joint arthritis, the list goes on.

I have numbness in my legs, and my arm is also losing sensation from the stenosis in my neck; my right-hand goes numb and I am finding it hard to open blister packs, or cans, or jars, and yes...even typing (which is my livelihood).

I don't feel like I can keep going to the doctor, or rather calling, as our surgery is still not doing face to face appointments; I have been talking to my GP recently because of tinnitus and hearing loss, which is on the cusp of moderate/severe (another thing to deal with), and between that and the stenosis (oh, and IBS) I feel like if I call again about my knees I will be labelled a hypochondriac.

I am also waiting for the local housing to approve me, as my privately-rented house is not suitable anymore. Steep stairs to the front door, steps into every room, mould, algae in the garden that makes it slippery and has caused many falls, a permanently flooded cellar, leaking roof...the landlord won't fix it so social services came out to assess me and have recommended a move to a bungalow, but as we all know, that's not a quick process.

And outside of that I am having to shoulder a lot of stress; family issues (birth family, not my children), money worries...I'm sure this is the same for many of us, but I really needed to offload as there is no-one I can really talk to (to give you an idea, a family member makes up illnesses, including cancer, and calls me half a dozen times a day with imaginary 'symptoms')

So, back to my original question; when does it all start to impact mental health, because I think I am really starting to struggle? And what can you do about it? I was on antidepressants some years ago and it took me a full year to come off them as withdrawal was so horrific, so I'd rather not go down that route, but I need to do something.

Thank you for reading, and stay safe in the coming storm.

Comments

  • Jona
    Jona Member Posts: 406

    Hell @purpleunicorn

    After reading your story I know exactly where your coming from it’s just one big battle, I was branded as a serial attender my response was well find out what’s wrong and get me well then hey presto I will disappear but coming up against too many god like complexes and arrogance I know better I’m still battling

    Yes it does affect your mental well being, being in constant pain and tinnitus is just horrific and it’s no wonder you struggle but sometimes it’s not recognised upon just antidepressants given I mean who wouldn’t be depressed coping with a lot I take one day at a time sometimes bad sometimes good but your stronger than you think I look back and think what I’ve been through and say well I’ve done that so I can do this keep your chin up and keep kicking metaphorically speaking 😉

  • Thanks @Jona for your reply.

    It's just all so exhausting. I feel like I'm disappointing people when they ask 'has your pain gone yet?' and I answer no, but I'm not going to lie and say I'm fine when I'm not to make other people feel more comfortable.

    The tinnitus is getting louder; I used to be able to shut it out but it's a high-pitched squealing and it drives me insane. Apparently it can be linked to cervical stenosis/arthritis so I'm waiting to be referred about that, but in the meantime I have to deal with it.

    It's very true what you say; if they find out what's wrong we wouldn't have to keep going back!

  • Jona
    Jona Member Posts: 406

    Hi @purpleunicorn ,

    I also feel I disappointed people especially my sons and grandchildren but tbh we honestly can’t do anything about it, no pain is constant my tinnitus is Really loud too now I have cervical spondylosis with oseophytes and sometimes tingling in my arms and weakness I’m not being referred anywhere I just get eyes rolling and large sighs when I go to the drs so find then rude and feel like I’m wasting their time I insisted on X-rays as felt I wasn’t being listened too they found arthritis in my knees, lower spine, hands and shoulders just been diagnosed with cataract now too so happy days but it’s all in my head apparently so I get the painkillers and leave

    I’m asked are you depressed so I say yes but anti depressants don’t help and who wouldn’t be anxious dealing with what we have it’s great getting old eh but keep smiling 😊 x

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764

    Hello you! I remember you as @ouchpotato . How's the family?

    Frankly, I think the answer to your question is how long is a piece of string? There no set course. It's understandable that relentless pain can affect mental health but it's not written in stone. It will all depend on so many other, unrelated factors.

    As for the tinnitus - maybe read up the leaflets on any meds you're taking. Some can cause it.

    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • @Jona , I've been fighting for years for a referral and have finally got one to an orthopedic surgeon, which is in March. Although I have been dealing with this for many many years, I have only seen a rheumatologist at the beginning, and the pain clinic. I changed GPs and have now got my referral, but it's so soul-destroying to keep being treated as a drug-seeker, or hypochondriac. I've heard so many people saying that they have been dismissed as 'it's all in your head' - well of course we're down or depressed about it! Would changing your GP help? I've found that the younger ones are better at referring than the older ones.

    @stickywicket hello! My family are all well thank you; my daughter got married and I have three grandchildren now, and my son is getting married in September so it's all changed! It's just me and my 17 year old daughter at home now. How are you and yours? I've managed to deal with everything with humour up until now, but it's so hard to keep a brave face on things when you can feel yourself getting worse, and I don't want to burden my kids all the time so I keep it in a lot of the time. I'm only on cocodamol and amitriptyline, but the tinnitus seems to be worsening as my neck worsens, so I think there is a link there. I'll just have to wait for the referral and see what they say. xx

  • airwave
    airwave Member Posts: 579

    Re the tinnitus, I find that finding activities that take my mind off of the problem help, I get so bound up that I block out hearing anything.

    re the numbness, I limit my time standing or being in a position which causes it, standing is very definitively the cause of pressure on my spinal cord, a gentle walk helps as does moving position. Be kind to yourself.

    its a grin, honest!

  • @airwave I do manage to block it out much of the time; watching TV of course helps because of the noise, but it's become so loud now that I can hear it all the time, even driving on a 'loud' road with the radio on!

    This week has been incredibly stressful so everything has been heightened, but I'm hoping it will all calm down a little bit now.

  • airwave
    airwave Member Posts: 579

    Hope is not a positive emotion, too much chance! Try a new past time, hobby, activity.

    it’s a grin, honest!

  • nicholaj
    nicholaj Member Posts: 64

    airwave…why do you always sign of with that comment about a grin?

  • maudieB
    maudieB Member Posts: 6

    @purpleunicorn I’m so sorry to hear of your pain and frustration, I think we can all relate to these feelings. Just a thought on tinnitus which, incidentally, no-one seems to take very seriously it’s impact on your MH, have you looked at the British Tinnitus Association website? It’s interesting, informative and may help - I found it useful especially when I needed to talk to healthcare professionals. I hope things improve for you.

  • Poppyjane
    Poppyjane Moderator Posts: 830

    Welcome @maudieB to the online community

    It is great to have a new member supporting others on their very first post. You obviously have experience of pain and frustration as many members do when they share with us. Thank you for your signpost to the BTA website which I am sure others will find useful. If you feel like sharing more of your own experience of living with arthritis we would love to hear from you.

    Take Care

    Poppyjane

    If it would be helpful to talk to someone ring the Helpline 0800 5200 520

    Monday - Friday 9.00a.m. - 6.00p.m.

  • maudieB
    maudieB Member Posts: 6

    @purpleunicorn I’m so sorry to hear of your pain and frustration, I think we can all relate to these feelings. Just a thought on tinnitus which, incidentally, no-one seems to take very seriously it’s impact on your MH, have you looked at the British Tinnitus Association website? It’s interesting, informative and may help - I found it useful especially when I needed to talk to healthcare professionals. I hope things improve for you.

  • maudieB
    maudieB Member Posts: 6

    @purpleunicorn I’m so sorry to hear of your pain and frustration, I think we can all relate to these feelings. Just a thought on tinnitus which, incidentally, no-one seems to take very seriously it’s impact on your MH, have you looked at the British Tinnitus Association website? It’s interesting, informative and may help - I found it useful especially when I needed to talk to healthcare professionals. I hope things improve for you.

  • airwave
    airwave Member Posts: 579

    I have a ….. ‘tongue in cheek’ attitude to life and often make comments that I can’t help grinning at and it has been confused with a grimace.

    its a grin, honest!