Help to get off this merry-go-round

ScaryFeet

Hi everyone, I am a struggling newbie and hope you can give me vital support while I in turn help anyone I can.

I was a fit and healthy 10k runner when I started struggling with hands and feet in 2008 and was diagnosed with RA.

I am now an extremely unfit and unhealthy slow walker in a desperate depresive stated of eating because I am depressed about my weight, pain, lack of movement and motivation. If I could feel better mentally I could "be bothered" to move but when I do it is hard and embarrasing to have fallen this far and the pain makes it even harder. And so I eat........

It is a painful circle......

My bipolar and its medication doesn't help.....

Thank you for listening xx

ToneBlues

Hi @ScaryFeet

Welcome to our online community and thank you for asking for our support.

You tell us that you were diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) in 2008 and have become significantly less fit since that time, becoming a depressed, slow walker - many in the online community will be able to identify with how you feel, including me (I was diagnosed with RA at around the same time as you). You also tell us that you have a diagnosis of bi-polar depression for which you take medication. RA and depression are indeed a painful circle and we much appreciate your desire to help others in turn

I suspect you know a good bit about RA by now but there may be some helpful reminders here -

https://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/conditions/rheumatoid-arthritis/

One of the pages signposted from that page is a page for men who are struggling with distressing thoughts -

https://www.thecalmzone.net/

And whilst not wishing to "jolly you along" here is a page about getting and maintaining some emotional stability -

https://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/managing-symptoms/emotional-wellbeing/

I hope there are things here that you can find helpful - nobody will be judging you for treading that painful circle - please come back regularly to be supported and support others.

Very best wishes

@ToneBlues - moderator

stickywicket

Hi there and welcome from me.

I'm sorry you are in such a bad place right now but I'm sure things can be done to make it better.

For a start, you say you were diagnosed with RA 14 years ago but don't say which Disease Modifying Anti-Rheumatic Drugs (DMARDS) you are on or have been on. Finding the right one - or 'ones' - can be time consuming but essential with RA. Have you spoken to your rheumatology helpline about how things are and discussed your more recent blood tests? All these things are key to getting on top of RA.

I also think it's important to forget about the past and focus on the future. Running may never be possible again but exercise is very important. Have a look at our exercise thread above. There are ways and means of exercising to suit all abilities and, hopefully, preferences. Maybe we don't get the endorphin rush of running but I know I get a big sense of achievement when I've done mine and I feel good about myself when I've simply done something - anything - which was difficult or which I didn't want to do.

As for eating - I simply don't buy the unhealthy stuff except for special occasions. What I don't have I can't eat. I'm lucky that I love fruit and veg, I don't have a big appetite anyway and, if I eat more than a couple of chocolates, my stomach is really unhappy. But, as I see it, I only have to be disciplined about it all once a week when I make out my grocery list online. The rest follows.

For simple pain relief, your GP can help. Health Centre appointments aren't always easy right now but I've found that our practice nurses are brilliant and telephone appointments have the advantage that we can ask someone else to listen in so's we don't forget what's said.

I'm sure others will give you tips but these are just a few to get you started.