Hip pain and guilt

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Giggles
Giggles Member Posts: 16
in Living with arthritis

One of my best friends suffered a stoke a few years ago and has been left not being able to walk or speak properly and when I am suffering pain I feel so guilty, and become tearful, that I am struggling with the pain when there are so many more people so much worse of than me. Does anyone else recognise this?

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  • Lilymary
    Lilymary Member Posts: 1,742
    edited 28. Mar 2022, 19:26
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    I do recognise this, my arthritis was limited to my hip, and only became a problem in early 2020. It was desperately painful despite handfuls of drugs until the day I had hip replacement, but my recovery a year later has been problematic. There are many, many others on this site whose conditions have affected them most of their lives, and over much of their bodies, with much worse levels of pain. But I have been struck by their generosity of sympathy and compassion, and they were incredibly supportive during my own journey, and still are. I am in awe of their perseverance, kindness and sense of humour.

    Your pain, and its effects on your life and mental well-being are no less real and relevant to you. The fact that you feel someone else is going through worse does not diminish your own suffering, nor does it help you deal with it. It doesn’t mean that you don't deserve support. Yes, you can be supportive to your friend, but take time to take care of yourself too, and ask for help and support when you need it.

  • Giggles
    Giggles Member Posts: 16
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    Hi Lilymary thank you for your words of wisdom. I am very good at offering support and empathy for people but forget o be kind to myself. Regards and take care.

  • Loggiemod
    Loggiemod Member Posts: 220
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    You should definitely not feel guilty. Your pain is what matters or rather how to manage it. Each of us has something, some more than others, but it is ourselves that we should look to first. You are obviously a kind and thoughtful person and please do not feel guilty about how you feel. We are all here for each other.

  • Giggles
    Giggles Member Posts: 16
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    Thank you so much Loggiemod. Comments like yours really help. I have managed to stem the dreadful pain with medication and sitting with my legs higher than my hips. Also I worked standing up today rather than sitting and tomorrow is my last day before I retire. I have had a good day today, just the normal pain, which I can cope with. The fitter I am the better I can help other people with different challenges so onwards and upwards. Take Care. Sandra

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