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MummyBobs
MummyBobs Member Posts: 1
in Living with arthritis

Hi Everyone, I have only just joined the group after been diagnosed with osteoarthritis over 20yrs ago!!

My late grandma ALWAYS looked at my hands and said I would get arthritis....My joints were "Knobbly" even as a child. However she also DRUMMED into me that "No one wants to hear you complain all the time." That is why I have struggled since my diagnosis to cope alone, so I wouldn't bother anyone. But I CAN'T do it alone anymore.

My ex husband and my 20yr old daughter are great at trying to help me out, but the pain is never ending and soooooo draining. I struggle with simple day to day activities, but don't ask for help. I can't seem to find any painkillers that help, and in general at 52 feel done in. I also have an underactive thyroid and live with depression.

You have no idea how much I want to deleate all the above, and stop complaining!!!

Much love to all of you who suffer, and have more pain than I Xx

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  • Lilymary
    Lilymary Member Posts: 1,742
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    Hi @MummyBobs and welcome to this lovely forum. I'm sorry you're finding it so hard to deal with your pain levels. Our older generations have a lot to answer for - that stiff upper lip, non-complaining mentality must have made their lives a misery, and probably meant a lot of people didn't seek treatments that would have made their lives easier (not that many were available in those days). But attitudes have changed now. At the very least, there's this forum to come to when you need to have a moan - we all know how rubbish this gets, we all understand the need to vent to a sympathetic ear, and we know how it can help. You've come to the right place.

    Constant pain is exhausting, and it's hard for non-sufferers to understand this. I'm not sure I did until arthritis ate my hip and made my life a misery. Are you getting any pain meds from your GP, or other therapies or treatments? Have you looked into gadgets and gizmos that will make your life easier around the house? I don't have experience of arthritic hands, but my lovely grandmother had awful problems with it. I remember us sitting with our hands in a big bowl of melted wax and slowly peeling it off afterwards. I think I heard that they still do that, but treatments have probably moved on since the 1960s!

    You might find some of the tips in this link helpful - I know I did when the pain just wouldn't go.

    https://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/managing-symptoms/managing-your-pain/

    One of the mods or other members will probably come on with some hand-specific advice soon.

    But we're always here for a moan, advice or a natter when it gets too much.

  • Shell_H
    Shell_H Member Posts: 548
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    Hi @MummyBobs and welcome to the online community!

    I see you've been diagnosed with arthritis in your hands and the pain and difficulty is making dealing with normal activities incredibly hard. I too have issues with being able to ask for help, having been taught that it was important to look like I was happy and not miserable, and it's something I've struggled to un-learn.

    Looking after yourself is a very important thing to do, and definitely something you need to prioritise. It's a huge struggle, I know, but learning to ask for help is very important. Whether this is from the people you know well and love, or from strangers who are specialists, it's important. Sometimes, asking strangers can be easier, so I'd see if you could get in touch with your local council and ask if an occupational therapist could come round your house to do an assessment. They should be able to provide suggestions and advice on what you can do to make every day tasks easier for you, which is a great first step!

    I've found some links which might have help for you here:

    https://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/living-with-arthritis/your-home/
    https://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/conditions/hand-and-wrist-pain/

    Do specifically look at the "Managing your Symptoms" section in the Hand and Wrist pain link - there's a lot of different suggestions there which might help you.

    Please do feel welcome to moan, complain or otherwise share what you're feeling here. We all have arthritis and have experiences similar to yours. This is a place where we are all looking for ways to help each other, so never feel like you can't ask or share here. It's is what we are here for 😊

    Lovely to meet you!

    Shell

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