Hi, on a day the sun is shining

CelticShiel Member Posts: 3
edited 28. Nov 2023, 14:08 in Living with arthritis

Hi, well here goes - I have RA and OA, due for a hip op as soon as…. Biggest issue for me is having lived independently for many years (stubbornly self sufficient and capable🙂) without any family, my dog is my companion. Im the sort who use to be involved in volunteering, my contacts have now moved on in their own lives. I’m really struggling in my domestic life. I live in a 2 hundred year old cottage, a circumstance I will change once I can present my home to its best. Fatigue and being physically unable to manage are causing me to live in limbo. It doesn’t help that my main door is totally swollen (listed - happens every year) it’s difficult to distribute to charities the many boxes of ‘stuff’ I’m moving on.

well I’ll stop here, would really appreciate positive ideas. Off to walk my 4 paws. Thanks for reading. CelticShiel


  • Poppyjane
    Poppyjane Moderator Posts: 776

    Hello @CelticShiel and welcome to the online community,

    You have both RA and OA and are awaiting a hip operation soon. I hope your wait won't be too long. You describe yourself as independent and a volunteer and are now moving to the next stage in your life when you are feeling as though you need to regroup. Living in a 200 year old listed house can be challenging at the best of times and it now sounds as though you are struggling .

    Life is often a series of give and take and as a volunteer over the years you will have given of yourself in time and energy and now maybe it is the time to "take " as in receive back some of the gifts you gave to others . Reaching out to the community is a brave step and may be the first of many small steps where gifts can be given back to you in many ways. It could be decluttering tips from our members or a visit from AgeUK whose details I attach below.

    www.ageuk.org.uk for practical advice and community support

    www.citizensadvice.org.uk for advice on local services in your area

    You and 4paws are doing each other a great service sharing exercise and love and companionship, we don't have exercises for dogs but maybe he/she can follow some of the ones mentioned in the link above. Do let us know how you get on and if / when you get a date for your surgery. We are glad you found us.

    Take care


    If it would be helpful to talk to someone ring the Helpline 0800 5200 520

    Monday - Friday 9.00a.m. - 6.00p.m.

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,719

    I think you might have to bite the bullet - or several - here.

    Do contact AgeUK and / or CAB. They will be able to put you in touch with other useful areas of support. Look in your local council offices site for Adult Social Care where you'll be able to self-refer to an Occupational Therapist who can advise on aids for round the house.

    Is your RA under control? Is it worth asking your rheumatologist if you're on all the meds you need?

    It can be hard to go from 'helper' to 'helped' but it doesn't have to be permanent. This is just to get you over the rough time of house moving. Once it's done, get back to social services for more permanent aids ie grab rails, bathroom aids etc and, once you're settled in somewhere more suitable, you can still find ways of helping others. Voluntary organisations always want people to do all sorts of jobs. I joined my local Riding for the Disabled for exercise and ended up being half the committee!

    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • yvonnemcdermott

    My thought is probably about quality of life and unfortunately thinking less about the sentimentality mortar. I have recently moved home to something that is more suitable I am in my 50s I just feel that I am more useful to people and will have a prolonged quality of life if I care less about stuff and material things

  • CelticShiel

    Cheers, thank you, it’s nothing to do with materialism but the local housing market. Ive cleared masses in the last few years. I’m in Devon, I could sell very quickly; it’s a sellers market, with minimal choice to move onto. Renting is not an option, with a dog and besides too expensive. Clearing furniture is difficult, simply because until my main door ‘ dries’ out, no easy access. Believe it or not 😬charities and individual people don’t want to take a door off it’s hinges even when they would like to have quality ‘stuff’ and it’s free. ( I’ve had the door ‘fixed’ three or four times over the years). I’ll get there, I just put it out there, to see if I was missing something. 🙂