Doesn't feel much like a life rn

Finished my second year of uni, got a puppy. He's called Jesse, he's lovely. I can't help but notice that I'm struggling to connect to feelings of love for him because I'm constantly picking up after him and due to his size having to bend over to demonstrate my affection.

This has been a regular theme since this arthritis ordeal began. Nascent stages onwards. Intellectually I recognise my feelings of affection for Jess but emotionally I just feel resentful that he's causing me so much pain and stress. Something as previously innocuous as losing a few hours sleep now seems to debilitate me.

I'm not sure how to deal with this life.

I live in a seaside town, its sunny, there are people abound, i can't relate to any of them.

Comments

  • Hi@SPN97 I know this feeling well regarding your puppy . I rescued a cat a year before all this started even though he is a beautiful boy sometimes I get angry at him when the pains bad and have to clear his mess his whineing at the door won't take a tablet jumps on me at 5 in the morning because his hungry . I tell him I hate him etc but I know really I don't mean it . Maybe when Jesse is quiet you can sit and rant and rave about all the injustice of what your suffering . I find animals are fantastic listeners they don't answer and never judge who you are . I once sat for two hours ranting and crying to my cooper .

  • N1gel
    N1gel Member Posts: 136

    @SPN97

    Yeah, I can relate to some of what you say. Four years ago I had mild OA in one elbow caused by walking my old dog while using crutches, he died and I was talked into getting a puppy. Now I've got OA in both arms and I use a wheelchair.

    I don't know your personal circumstances and for a long time I thought I'd made a huge mistake, considered re-homing him. But felt a huge responsibility because for every day of those four years he's been watching me ('the boss') like a hawk. He's never pulled me off my feet, he knows when I'm down or hurting and he's sleeping under my chair as I write this.

    I can't take him for walks, but it's made me reach out to other people to walk him for me. There's a website where you can register to let people borrow your dog (take him for walks or just dog sit) type 'borrow my dog' in a search engine. It works better in towns than out in the sticks where I am.

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