How do you tell those around you, you’re in pain?

Lotty
Lotty Member Posts: 4
in Living with arthritis

Hi folks,

I’ve recently been diagnosed with PR so a flare up can happen anytime it feels like. I feel guilty about telling those around me (boyf and work colleagues) that I’m in the middle of a flare because I’ve great at hiding it (I’m not generally one to make a fuss). The pain can be really distracting and can throw me off things that I need to concentrate on at work and at home. It makes me feel like a failure because I can’t function as a ‘normal’ human being.

How do you handle telling people around you?? and not feel like you’re letting people down??

Any advice gladly received. Lotty

Comments

  • PeterJ
    PeterJ Administrator Posts: 970

    Hello @Lotty and welcome to the community. We are a friendly and supportive group and I hope that that will be your experience as well.

    I understand that you have flare ups and unsure as to how to tell people around you and that it is getting you down a little. It's good to talk, either on this community or with those around you. Have you tried explaining? You might find that they are sympathetic and willing to help if only they knew. You are not letting anyone down. Have a look at the following from our website (which is a good source of information)

    https://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/managing-symptoms/emotional-wellbeing/

    We also have local groups around who are like-minded supportive people, try and see if there is one local to you

    https://www.versusarthritis.org/in-your-area/

    In the meantime please do keep posting and I am sure others will connect with you to share their support and experience as well.

    With very best wishes

    Peter (moderator)

    Need more help? - call our Helpline on 0800 5200 520 Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm

  • Lotty
    Lotty Member Posts: 4

    Thank you Peter - it’s all a bit of a minefield to me at the moment - I will definitely take a look at the links you posted 👍🏼

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764

    Hi Lotty,

    I have RA and OA. I'm not sure what PR stands for - Palindromic Rheumatism?

    These two articles explain, better than I ever could, how to help others understand arthritis without turning into a moaning Minnie. Good luck.

    http://asone.nass.co.uk/the-gorilla-in-your-house/

    https://creakyjoints.org.au/living-with-arthritis/how-the-spoon-theory-helps-me-explain-the-fatigue-of-chronic-illness/

    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Lotty
    Lotty Member Posts: 4

    spot on with PR 👌🏼

    for about the last 18 months friends and family have mostly thought I was injuring myself at my aerial classes but I knew it wasn’t that as it felt ‘different’ to an over exertion or a muscle strain

    that’s brilliant thank you 🙏🏼 I will definitely take a read of them both

    nail on the head, I don’t want to be moaning every 5 minutes which is why I’ve mostly kept it under wraps unless it’s a whopper of a flare and they have been lately

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