I Feel Alone

NGCM

Hi I am a carer for my mother who is 84 years old. Recently she was diagnosed with severe OA in her hip. The severe pain came on suddenly 4 months ago and it has taken until recently to be diagnosed by her local surgery! She also has arthritis in both knees and has been waiting for a knee replacement for 3 years, she had one done 7 years ago.

She has had cancer twice in different areas of her body resulting in surgeries, chemo and radiotherapy. My Mum is used to pain but the pain she has been suffering for 4 months now is unlike any pain she has experienced before. She is on a cocktail of drugs which don't take the pain away and her weight loss and reduced mobility has been dramatic over the last couple of months.

I am writing this because I feel there is nobody to talk to about her dramatic decline and what to expect with her diagnosis. Her local surgery has been useless and offer no support, indeed her diagnosis was done by phone with a doctor who just said she will be referred for an urgent hip replacement.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

GillC64

Hi @NGCM welcome to our community. Things sound tough at present for your mum and yourself. I'm sure there are folks on here who understand what you are both going through and will be very happy to share their experiences with you. Might also be worth reposting this to our Living with Arthritis chat page.

Alongside looking after Mum you must remember to look after you too.

Best Wishes Gillian (moderator)

http://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/conditions/osteoarthritis-oa-of-the-hip

http://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/managing-symptoms/emotional-wellbeing

stickywicket

No wonder you feel so alone. This really is not good enough.

I've never heard of anyone being diagnosed then immediately referred for a replacement joint by phone. Normally there are x-rays and then, maybe, a physio appointment as you'll know from your mother's previous medical history.

You need someone on your side. We definitely are, on here, but you need something to happen and we can't really do anything about that. I suggest you contact your local PALS (https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/other-services/patient-advice-and-liaison-services-(pals)/locationsearch/363 ) . They are usually very helpful.

One thing would concern me. You write that 'her weight loss and reduced mobility has been dramatic over the last couple of months.' Arthritis, coupled with reduced mobility are more likely to promote weight gain than weight loss. I think this needs investigating separately.

Please let us know how you get on.

Lilymary

I agree with @stickywicket , dramatic weight loss isn't typical of arthritis, and it's disgraceful that she hasn't been seen and properly assessed. I would urge you to have her dramatic weight loss looked into as soon as possible, given her medical history.

With regards to the arthritis, pain from OA can come on suddenly - mine did - I went from fully mobile to in agony in a couple of weeks, and it went downhill rapidly from that point. Given that you mother has already waited 3 years for her knee replacement, this also needs chasing up. It sounds to me like your surgery feel they've done their bit by simply putting her name on a list rather than actually investigating her symptoms, progressing the referrals, and supporting her where she is now. Do contact PALS, or write the the surgery practice manager if you can't get an appointment for her to be seen. (You're not in Hereford are you by any chance? My uncle is facing similar neglect there from his GP surgery.)

I do hope you can make some progress with them.