New here and struggling

Becca1982

Hi, I’m new here so thought I would write a little about my story.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and ME nearly 8 years ago. I knew it was wrong but initially all health professionals told me everything that was wrong was linked to my fibromyalgia. From eye pain to swollen pitted ankles.

i gave in recently and went to a private doctor who instantly said it’s not fibromyalgia and everything points to inflammatory arthritis. I was so relieved someone finally listened to me without butting in and was genuinely interested.

I now have a diagnosis of Bursitis and an immanent diagnosis of inflammatory Arthritis. I am living in constant pain, my mind is forever thinking about the pain, no meds reduce it, no treatments touch it. It’s got so much worse over the last few years I can’t see how I will be walking within a year. I’m 40 and I can’t put my own socks on!

i need to ask a few questions- firstly how to you explain to your partner how it feels? I try to tell my partner and I just get huffs and puffs with “what’s new”. I try to keep up with the house and the businesses but everything suffers!

How do you cope with being intimate? I have a partner with a high sd and he’s constantly angry I am in pain during and I turn him down. I try and explain but just get told I’m a let down.

I feel like I can not cope anymore, I’m angry about my life, I’m angry about my health and I’m angry I can’t even walk my dogs anymore.

sorry for this terrible hello post 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’m not having the best day 🙋🏼‍♀️

Thank you for reading this xx

chrisb

Hi @Becca1982

Welcome to the versus arthritis forum.

You were originally assessed incorrectly but have now been re-diagnosed with Bursitis and inflammatory arthritis. You’re living with constant pain and no medication or treatment appear to make any difference. You’d like some advice on how to gain the understanding and support of your partner.

I can understand why you’re feeling so down, it’s so important to have the full support of your partner. I was diagnosed with OA about 15 years ago having suffered with back pains for years. Once diagnosed my wife was much more understanding and supportive taking on tasks that I could no longer perform. I don’t know how to advise you as to how to gain your partner's buy-in but it is very important for you to have this support.

The forum is a very friendly and welcoming community and no doubt there will be members who have been through situations similar to your own. I hope they can provide you with some valuable advice.

In the interim, these links may be useful:

https://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/conditions/bursitis/

https://www.versusarthritis.org/about-arthritis/conditions/rheumatoid-arthritis/

https://www.versusarthritis.org/news/2021/september/sex-and-arthritis-how-to-make-it-work/

If you think it would be helpful to talk to someone then please do take advantage of our helpline service:

https://www.versusarthritis.org/get-help/

I'm sure you will be able to find some other discussions you may wish to join in on or, if not, do start a new one. 

I hope you find joining the forum beneficial. 

Best Wishes

ChrisB (Moderator)

stickywicket

It's not a 'terrible' post. It's an honest one and a scared one. It's very natural and normal.

I'm sorry I'm in a rush right now but I just wanted to give you these links which are a great way of explaining to others how arthritis affects us.

http://asone.nass.co.uk/the-gorilla-in-your-house/

https://creakyjoints.org.au/living-with-arthritis/how-the-spoon-theory-helps-me-explain-the-fatigue-of-chronic-illness/

Good luck and stick with us.

Baloo

Hi @Becca1982 I can see the anger, but I can also see the communication. I have a little wisdom on it even if its the only wisdom I might have. Do be sure to catch your man doing something that raises your confidence, and tell them how good it makes you feel. It's very powerful. Watch the smile break out on their face. Bake a cake and stick candles in it (I'm exaggerating slightly about the cake).