Hello

Tina0420

Just want to say hi! I'm new and normally very private and keep to myself so this is.....trying something new. I've rarely felt any kind of support or understanding from those around me. I know they don't understand so hopefully someone on here does. Diagnosed PsA more than 10 years ago but dealing with it since early teens. I'm now 42 and feel 80.

Loggiemod

Hello @Tina0420 and welcome. You are in the right place to chat safely and amongst others who will know how you feel or at least have some understanding. Keep posting now you are here, you are among new friends

stickywicket

Hey, well done on posting. It's not easy to ask for help/sympathy/understanding is it? Especially if one is a private person and a 'just keep soldiering on' one.

I've had RA since I was 15 - over 60 years. I'm lucky that my husband and children never knew me without it but, even so, I never wanted them to 'suffer' from my pain. However, time, and common sense, has taught me that of course they do, just in different ways. My husband had the burden of being the only wage earner. My kids never had all the holidays or clothes that their mates had. They all had to muck in whenever i was in hospital getting new hips, knees or physio.

One thing I never wanted to do was complain about pain. but there's a very fine dividing line between that and shutting them out of a large part of one's life. I think the odd chat, preferably over a nice meal - with wine!, can help both in a relationship to understand the other's point of view.

There are a couple of really good articles on the net which can help those around us to get the picture without us going on about pain. Have a look here

http://asone.nass.co.uk/the-gorilla-in-your-house/

https://creakyjoints.org.au/living-with-arthritis/how-the-spoon-theory-helps-me-explain-the-fatigue-of-chronic-illness/

Friends can be an absolute godsend but I do mean real friends - the ones who know and understand and love us for who we are not how fit and healthy we are. I reckon anyone with a couple of those friends is lucky whatever other problems they might have in life. Yes, we will 'let them down' at times by not being able to do what we'd hoped or arranged. But we can make up for it in other ways - by always being a sympathetic ear for them, for example.

I have one such friend, who also has arthritis, and we're always there for each other but, just as importantly, we usually speak each morning on the phone and have a lot of laughs. Laughter is so important and helpful.

Tina0420

My best friend since childhood also had some kind of inflammatory disease. We both leaned on the other for support. She died almost 10 years ago now. Luckily, my favorite cousin moved in with me about a year ago and we laugh and laugh so much that my checks hurt! And I think he has PsA also. Told him to talk to his Dr.