Not going out

I am considering not going out, ever.

I tried to go out into town this morning, I live in the High Street so out my garden gate down the short alley and I’m in town. But I was in too much pain to even roll down to the library for my 2 yo son’s rhyme and rhythm club.

I don’t like going out. It always involves more pain either in the chair or walking with stick. I’m happy at home and in my small music bunker where I feel I can manage my pain better than when I’m out.

would it be unhealthy to say I’m never going out again unless it’s absolutely unavoidable like a zombie gets inside the house or something?


  • TLee
    TLee Member Posts: 81

    Here's what's the worst about that: THINKING you can do something & then finding it next to impossible. When I am comfortable, I make all sorts of plans. Then I get out of bed or off the recliner and realize my brain sometimes doesn't realize what kind of shape my body is in. This morning I was awake before the sun. I was telling myself I should get up, bundle up, go out to a favorite park and have a long(ish) walk. I made a plan to get up early every morning and start my day with that sort of exercise. Then I left the bed to walk to the kitchen and nearly fell over when my hip gave out.

  • movingslowly
    movingslowly Member Posts: 64

    Never say never 😁

    It's pants you're experiencing torture at the moment.

    Some days I would be over the moon to get attacked by a zombie and 'turn' ... I figure zombies don't experience half the **** we do, if any at all.

    And even if they did they wouldn't know, or give a monkey's ... too busy eating people to care.

    Zombies can bend, pick stuff up, chew and walk for miles, easily... well, they can on the tele 😂

    Sorry you're 'feeling it' today @Keef

    maybe next time the rhyme & rhythm comes around we'll either be zombies or you might be able to manage a trip out with your son 🤷🏼‍♀️

    Take care @Keef

  • Keef
    Keef Member Posts: 621

    I’m not am expert, but I rather suspect that Zombies don’t turn humans that are in ill health at least I think that’s how it worked in WWZ I saw at the cinema with son number one. I didn’t even know it was a zombie film before it started. Son was like “Dad - like der!!! What do u think the Z stands for???!!!!”

    I just knew it had Brad Pitt in so I thought it would be worth watching. Lol.

    well I haven’t been out today so I’ll start from today and see how many days I clock up before I miss going out and if I have less pain.

    i feel like crap today. Fed up!!!

  • Baloo
    Baloo Member Posts: 359
    edited 9. Jan 2023, 22:15

    I like to relax at home without going out, but I think my experience of exercise and workouts after stopping at home is much the same as it was before arthritis, but with a different scale of activity. Before arthritis I would stop at home but enjoy my first 7 mile ride to work on the bicycle, be a bit whacked out on the return trip, but feel like it all did me some good. With arthritis I would enjoy my January trip to the health clinic, by bus and by foot, come back a bit whacked out from the pain and effort, but the next day feel like it did me some good.

    I think my point is I was more fresh to begin with, and thats what made all the difference.

  • Woofy
    Woofy Member Posts: 216

    Hi Keef.

    sorry to here you are (not going out)

    I spent most of the afternoon at my rheumatology appointment. By the time I had my consult, X-rays, and picked up my medication, I was pretty done in.

    it was chaotic at X-ray dept. I got called in by a young lad doing the X-ray, with his trusty side kick sitting in the box at one corner.

    I asked if rather than get changed into the rather fetching gown, to save time, should I just drop my jeans.

    For a women in her 60s with dodgy knees, no mean feat I can tell you. Didn’t realise I wouldn’t be laying on the bed, but stood up against the x ray machine, with said lad saying, just move your right leg here your left leg there, hips facing forward. I was having my own kind of Rhyme and Rhythm club going on. I do hope you find the strength to venture out again soon. Take care.

  • Trish9556
    Trish9556 Member Posts: 392

    Hi @Keef

    I think I'm right in saying we all want to hibernate when we feel too much pain or simply when it is the easiest option but hey! Think of all the wonderful things you can share and teach your son in the big outside...watching him jumping in big puddles. Talking about the shapes in the clouds and stories you can make up afterwards about the cloud dragon. Teaching him how to keep safe crossing the road and generally enjoying being with him outside.

    While I understand why you wish to hibernate I hope you don't. Just make a list of all the positives and all the negatives .

    Personally I don't think the it's easier option is the best option.

    Love n hugs

    Trish xx

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,035

    Morning @Keef

    Oh dear me 'not going out' sounds like a telly programme.

    Seriously I can see why you might not feel like going anywhere at the moment as it all feels too painful and this rain probably doesn't help you at all either.

    Having said that I hope you'll feel up to braving it in future. You won't want to miss out on all of family life your boy's first day at school, his first nativity play and much much more.

    I've brought you a cuppa over from the café hope it helps oh and some cake

    Take care

    Toni x

  • Keef
    Keef Member Posts: 621

    Well I’ve been out. It wasn’t until I was walking the 100 metres from the laundromat back to my house I even remembered that I wasn’t going out!!! Doh!

    I don’t think it counts really, but I’m having to lay down as even that has caused me so much Pain it’s just stupid. And I didn’t even carry the bags of washing we were drying.

    i keep saying I’m gonna buy a tumbler but then I spend the money on musical instruments lol.

  • Keef
    Keef Member Posts: 621

    Hey @frogmorton

    was that coffee and walnut cake?

    there’s a cafe in my town that does big hunks of cake including red velvet. I can’t manage a whole slice but my little boy is always happy to help, especially if it’s the thick end with all the icing.

    maybe I could just venture down there tomorrow, maybe??

  • Keef
    Keef Member Posts: 621

    This is the second time someone has posted on here exactly what I wanted to say but in a better way than i would have managed. 👍

  • Trish9556
    Trish9556 Member Posts: 392


    Don't buy a tumble dryer, get a de humidifier. Much cheaper to run, dries the washing and has worked wonders on my asthma!

    Then purchase all the musical Instruments you want

    Trish xx

  • airwave
    airwave Member Posts: 579

    Funny that, my mind works the other way round! But then I end up doing things that hurt, having done too much, walked too far , driven ridden or just not planned, at all. I often just go out without much thought and end up doing something I hadn’t planned and for goodness sake don’t send me to the supermarket without a list, I come back with all sorts of things.

    Home sounds like a safe place, maybe a safe place is somewhere else as well? Perhaps a few of them dotted around, you could encourage yourself to move around them but only use them as a last resort but know they are there for you?

    it’s a grin, honest!

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,035

    It certainly was coffee and Walnut @Keef

    I reckon you little boy would love a trip to the cake shop today especially if he can have the icing!!!

    a whole cake for him!

    Toni x

  • Baloo
    Baloo Member Posts: 359

    Maybe listen to your back and get your eyes off of that cake. Whats so great about being at home though. Is it you can do more reclining and get the weight off your back or something.

  • N1gel
    N1gel Member Posts: 158


    Yep, totally get that. Especially as I'm doing creative stuff at home too, it's very tempting and good for creativity. I read about great artists who were reclusive and that makes me feel better.

  • Lilymary
    Lilymary Member Posts: 1,733

    When I'm having a "not going out" day, I break the day down into tiny successes. 1. Getting up. 2. Getting washed. 3. Getting dressed (optional). 4. Getting downstairs and making tea and toast. 5. Anything else is a bonus. Deconstruct in opposite order at the end of the day. Timescale - whatever you can manage.

    To quote a cheesy line out of Top Gun, my mind likes "writing cheques my body can't cash". If I've made it to point 4. I'll do a quick stock take and see what I can feel my body and soul can cope with. Aim small, but be open to tweaking up a notch. I might lie there thinking "the weather's nice, maybe that big walk I've been fantasising about today" before reality kicks in and I turn on the telly. Too big a target. But if I set the bar a bit lower - "I might do 10 mins of gentle leg exercises today", that can work. Or I might go in the garden for 5 minutes and see what happens. Or I might just tidy up the kitchen a bit. It's all better than nothing. Pain sucks the joy and life out of everything, but we have to keep our bodies moving somehow.

    Before my hip and other bits of me packed up I used to swim (very small nice warm pool), and aim for say 40 lengths, usually lose count at 20, hit something like 40 and then add more two at a time. I was often surprised at how many I racked up. I try to apply that philosophy to Life. When I decided to try horse riding again, I went with the full expectation that it would be impossible and I would content myself with hugging the pony for my 30 minutes. As it happens, I found I could sit on it. Then we found it wasn't agony when the horse moved. Then we found I could just about cope with a trot. My trainer can often tell before I can when my body's had enough (she's a saint). But doing it in very slow, small stages, I got there.

    But whatever you've done with your day, don't beat yourself up if pain and exhaustion stopped you doing more. We're the invisible warriors. Just the small stuff is a battle won.