Post op blues

I was so happy to know that I was about to have my hip replacement surgery. I was told it would be available in September but that was delayed until 21st November, that date was cancelled on the 20th (24 hrs before the procedure) I was devastated to say the least. Fortunately another surgeon stepped in, he was free to go ahead on the 5th December. I now have my new hip that has been a resounding success with no complications, I should be shouting from the rooftops in celebration, but I’m not.

I'm feeling very ungrateful right now as I’ve not left the house since I was discharged on 7th December. I have been unable to go out due to the horrendous weather, along with having nobody to accompany me even if the weather changed. Ive lost the passion to embrace my second chance to get my life back and the confidence to do it alone.

I know it’s a negative attitude that I never dreamed of, in my head, pre op, I was planning for my enhanced future, right now all I can think is that it was the wrong time for such a procedure, I cannot move around to strengthen my muscles and that is stunting my progress.

I hate that I am sounding so ungrateful. I see myself as a failure and a lazy person who has been given this amazing second chance only to squander it, sitting around, in my pyjamas and attempting to distract myself by watching rubbish on the television.

My depression is off the charts, I should be happy for this gift, sadly I’m the total opposite. I have to snap out of this low mood, I just don’t know how.

Has anyone else had this reaction after surgery? Any tips or advice would be very welcome and helpful.

I am so sorry to bring doom and gloom on you guys, hopefully this post won’t drag anyone else down. I apologise in advance for being such a grump.

stay safe and warm guys, take care and better health to you all in this new year.

Comments

  • Trish9556
    Trish9556 Member Posts: 87

    Hi @Lisbeth

    I'm sorry you're going through a rough road with your recovery. I have this to come a long way down the road.

    Please don't think you're being ungrateful. You're not. Recovery from any surgery is hard and even worse in the cold dark winter months. I've had three in winter, although not a hip replacement, and also wanted to hibernate.

    You will get there. The days are getting longer and with lots of layers of clothing to keep you warm if it's fine and there's no reason why even a short walk to the end if your road and back. You can aim for a little bit further each time and when you get back, reward yourself for your achievement. A short walk takes as long as you need it to take. There's no rush.

    You can do this and never feel the need to apologise. True friends will stand with you and on here you are among friends who can support you

    You go gal and you can do this. Spring is coming so watch out for snowdrops and daffodils on your walk to cheer you on.

    Love n hugs

    Trish xx

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,211

    You don't sound ungrateful and you're not a failure. It takes guts to start venturing out again and, frankly, also to post about feeling 'a failure' and lazy. You will get there but are probably wise not to venture forth in wind and wet.

    I've always maintained that, in the early post op weeks, exercises, done conscientiously several rimes a day, are far more important than trying to compete with others for longest walks in the shortest time.

    I'd say:

    Stick with the exercises.

    Always get up and dressed. (You'll feel better and that, in itself, is exercise.)

    Walk round the house if you can. We only live in a small bungalow but, after and before his THRs, my husband managed 5,000 steps a day (all at once) round the house when he couldn't get out.

    Invite some friends round for a cuppa. That will get you both moving and laughing. (Worst case scenario, just ring them up. Not so much moving but the chat is always good.)

    We all get there in the end. It's not a race. Come spring you'll be feeling much different. And, when you do get out, a tip. A friend used to do one more lamppost every time. Not much but a great sense oc achievement.

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,179

    Awww please don't feel a failure @Lisbeth you aren't and in fact are far from it. You are doing amazingly well it's not even 6 weeks!

    Major surgery = major trauma and major trauma can take some getting over. Almost like PTSD.

    Ask @Lilymary who also had a much slower recovery from hip surgery that she anticipated.

    Am I right in thinking that you live alone? That can have a big impact on what you can do - trust me I know I fell on Christmas eve (on wet leaves) and landed on my rear on some steps bang bang bang. You were probably wise not to go far without someone with you. Stickywicket's advice about what you can do in the house is excellent.

    Take care keep posting and keep on being kinder to yourself ((()))

    Toni x

  • Lisbeth
    Lisbeth Member Posts: 32

    Hi guys

    thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your words of kindness and support, you have inspired me greatly. I have started to drive again, something I was dreading but it actually made such a positive impact on my attitude that I feel like I have turned a corner. My dad had to go to the doctors and I was the only person available to take him, otherwise I think I would still be sat in the chair feeling sorry for myself. All of a sudden, I had a purpose to get up and get out. Since then I am pleased to say that I have ticked off a few things that I had wanted to do but didn’t feel confident to attempt.I have been shopping, I did some housework and the icing on the cake is that I went up to see my beloved horses, I hadn’t seen them in five weeks, It was wonderful to see them come cantering up to the gate when they heard me call them. The best thing ever. Now I’m appreciating my new hip and I’m in much less pain. I don’t know if I already said it but, you guys are amazing, your replies to my doom and gloom are priceless. It means the world to me that you cared enough to encourage me to start to enjoy my new found lease of life. I don’t know how to reply to everyone separately, I’m sorry , I don’t even know if you will all see this message I hope you do, as I want you to know how grateful I am to you.x

  • Trish9556
    Trish9556 Member Posts: 87

    You are one amazing person and when you're feeling down re-read what you have just posted.

    Well Done!!

    Love n hugs

    Trish xx

  • Lilymary
    Lilymary Member Posts: 1,664

    Hi Lisbeth, the recovery can be a real rollercoaster, so I'm sorry you hit the bottom of it over the last few weeks. The recent dismal weather has had me struggling too, physically and mentally. Winter is not a great time to recover from major surgery.

    When I look back on it, the first months post op in 20921 were tough going, and being confined to the house in such utterly depressing weather would make it feel so much worse. I was lucky that we had good weather when I had my surgery in 2021, so I was able to wobble around the village on my crutches with my husband, but it was still really hard, and even this tough old bird had many teary moments in private. As @frogmorton says, your body has been through a major trauma, but I also feel people underestimate the emotional trauma. The pain and disability you suffered for months or years before the op takes its toll, preparing yourself mentally for the surgery is a big hill to climb, and then suddenly finding you have a carved up body to rehab is a steep learning curve. The nurses at the hospital said all the patients end up in tears post op and blame it on the anaesthetic but I think they were being kind; personally I think it's shock. Be kind to yourself - you've just been through an awful time and you're still working your way out of it. We can't compare ourselves to healthy people - arthritis and major surgery are not to be trivialised.

    I would echo everything @stickywicket says - on days when you can't get out, get up, get dressed, find stuff to do in the house to keep you moving, do your exercises etc, and if you're feeling isolated, invite someone over. Do you have a step counter or fitbit? They can be great motivators for gradually increasing your step count, even round the house.

    But I'm so pleased to hear you've turned a bit of a corner - having purpose can be such a motivator. I can well imagine the lift you got from seeing your horses again, they are such good therapy, and finding you are able to help your dad and be a bit more self sufficient must be such a boost. I suspect you're through the worst of it by now, but still take things at your own pace, we all heal differently, listen to your body and nurse it along. You'll get there, but it's still ok to feel sorry for yourself from time to time, because let's face it, it's a rotten road to have to travel.

    Hug your horses from me, they're such good healers. xx

  • Dianes1
    Dianes1 Member Posts: 28

    Hi again Lizbeth, we were posting a few weeks ago as our op was a similar time. Mine was the 10th December.

    I know what you mean about the depression. I was not expecting that. I started feeling sorry for myself every day and burst into tears when my husband took the dogs out. I was angry with myself as I knew I should be grateful that I had my new hip.

    I am now walking to the shops every day, never got as excited as this previously going to Tesco lol, but now it is the highlight of my day.

    As you know previously I admired you and you inspired me as you got through returning home on your own. I could never have done that.

    You are doing fantastic now and it must be a lovely feeling seeing your horses come to greet you. Keep it up Lizbeth, we will get there, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

  • Lisbeth
    Lisbeth Member Posts: 32

    Hey dianes1

    Im so pleased that things are going well for you, well done. I’m afraid my battery is dying but I will message you tomorrow to have a chat, keep up the walking, now you can enjoy a pain free future.x