2 cancelled TKR and waiting

MartinD

It's 00 50 hrs and in in bed in the spare room again.Im in real pain ,and know I'm going to have another uncomfortable, painful night,so I come to spare room to allow my wife to sleep.So often now,I'm woken 4/5 times each night in pain and my current meds are becoming increasingly ineffective. I've had to surgery dates cancelled,and I'm managing to work from home,but I know im not performing well.I can't go off sick because I've already used up 6 weeks sick pay due to sciatica and my altered gait.I don't know when I will next get another date, and even then, could it be cancelled again ? I merit being off, but I'm fearful of using up my remaining sick pay.If I did,then I would drop to half pay and I couldn't afford to pay my bills and mortgage. Such a miserable and anxious position to be in.Ive been living on hope for almost 3 years waiting for a TKR,and my resilience and hope is fading quickly.Nothing to look forward to, and everything is beyond my physical capability.Holiday adverts,that you can't book,upcoming weddings that I will go to ,be in agony,no dancing etc.My wife is great and I'm so lucky to have her,but I see her frustration for preventing us to do things together just now I've told her to book a holiday with her sister.My life's on hold, no idea if and when I'll be offered another date.My local NHS Trust announced yesterday that it's cancelled all elective surgery again for an indefinite period.I try to keep hopeful,but there is a limit,and I'm at it No where I turn,can I get answers Not even my MP has had any success.Im sure there are many in my similar circumstances,but this is physical and emotional torture.Do we ot deserve healthcare ? Such futility.